How to mediate a conflict, in 5 steps

In the face of arguments, there is almost always a constructive way to end the confrontation.

Many of the problems we have as human beings have to do with failures in our way of communicating. That is why it is important to know how to mediate a conflict.This is why it is important to know how to mediate in a conflict; something so simple can be applied in many situations in which the people in confrontation have more interests in common than they think.

In this article we will see some fundamental advice to mediate in the conflicts, disputes and clashes that can arise at work, in the family, in the street, etc.

How to mediate a conflict in 7 steps

Follow these guidelines to face the challenge of mediating a conflict in the best possible way. Keep in mind that each case is unique, and much of your success will depend on your ability to adapt your strategy to the particular context in which you will be intervening.

1. The basics to get started

It is important that from the outset you follow these fundamental guidelines that you can apply throughout the mediation process.

Consider what they know about you

Do the people you are mediating know you? What do they know about you and your opinions or beliefs?

If the answer to the first question is "no", then you should introduce yourself and make your intentions clear. make your intentions clearIf the answer to the first question is "no", then you should introduce yourself and make clear your intentions, which are none other than to help the parties involved reach a solution to the conflict that is least harmful to both parties or even beneficial to them.

Regarding the second question, if you are already known to them, you should analyze whether any of the parties involved in the dispute may suspect that your opinions or sympathies are on the side of the party perceived as the enemy. In some cases, it may even it may even be negative if someone initially believes that you will be on their side, as they will soon feel that you are on their side.It can even be negative in some cases if someone initially believes that you will be on their side, as they will soon be frustrated to find out that you are not necessarily on their side. Therefore, you must prove that you are serious about the role of mediation, showing that you can understand (but not necessarily share) each party's point of view.

Be clear about your objectives and recognize the conflict

When it comes to mediation, it is very important to be clear that you should try to not to have an avoidant attitude towards this type of problem.. Even if you do not argue or attack, judge or criticize others, you must use assertiveness to show that you are someone in the same hierarchical position as everyone else. You must communicate through your speech and through your nonverbal language that you know there is a conflict and that you know that the people you are dealing with know it too.

This means that you should not pretend that nothing is going on, or adopt a condescending or exaggeratedly optimistic attitude, as if the dispute were not a conflict.as if the dispute were not real.

Express a serious but conciliatory attitude.

In general, your tone should be serious, but not cutting, and your non-verbal language should be open and rather relaxed, so that this attitude rubs off at least a little. Also, if you see that people who have a conflict share some of their nonverbal language share some of their nonverbal language that does not have hostile implications, your nonverbal language has to be open and rather relaxed.It is good to subtly imitate this, for example, leaning forward in your chair, instead of leaning fully against the backrest.

2. Take time to calm them down

It is often important, first of all, to help those who are arguing to calm down. To do this, make it clear that this time is dedicated to just that, to be in silence, free of the duty to explain what is happening, until a point comes when composure is regained... enough to engage in a discussion. enough to engage in a constructive dialogue..

This, in addition to having a physiological effect on people's state (causing, among other things, their Heart rate to drop a little and making them less aggressive), has the psychological power to represent the end of unbridled anger and the beginning of fitting in.

3. Let them express themselves

After you have introduced yourself if necessary, it is time for each party to say what is going on.

Your work should be based entirely on what the people who are arguing express; nothing you say should be seen as an imposition placed at the center of the debate in an unjustified way. Therefore, it is important to let them express themselves, taking turns, and asking them to explain what they want and what bothers them. This has to be done after everyone agrees out loud on two rules: no interruptions and no disrespect.

4. Rephrase what you hear, in a constructive way.

After listening to each party, you should explain in your own words what you believe to be each party's point of view, but stripping this content of those elements that generate confrontation, such as accusations and criticisms.such as accusations and criticisms of the other.

In this way, each will hear the other's point of view but in more neutral and potentially reasonable terms.

5. Look for a middle ground solution

It doesn't have to be that both parties get a share of what they wanted from the start; it can be something else entirely. What is essential is that that neither party involved feels humiliated or a clear loser. or clearly the loser. Make proposals, and try not to put a solution on the table that is exactly what one party proposes.