How to overcome feelings of guilt, in 8 key points

Sadness, anxiety and invasive thoughts are some of the symptoms of guilt.

We have all been faced at some time with a situation that we have managed as best we could, perhaps without having the necessary information or patience, causing discomfort to another person.

Faced with situations like this, it is common for the feeling of guilt to appear. But... what is guilt? It is a negative emotion that has a great psychological function: it helps us to reflect on our behavior and attitudes in order to avoid falling into the trap of guilt. and attitudes in order to avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Although it has a positive facet, guilt can turn against us when it provokes intrusive thoughts that tie us to some unfortunate moment in our lives.

Feelings of guilt: why do they appear?

Guilt can have different causes and origins. In some people, it may be due to an emotion that debuted in childhood because of certain dysfunctional relationships with other family members or peers. As a result of this bad psychological experience, the individual may crystallize this feeling of guilt even in adulthood.

At the extreme end of this feeling we find 'extreme guilt'. This is a dysfunctional and unnecessary discomfort created by our own mind and thoughts. It is vital, in these cases, to know how to identify the causes that provoke this discomfort.

Guilt can have its cause in certain cognitive distortions that make our thinking work based on biases and partial and irrational interpretations of reality. These thinking schemes push us to take certain day-to-day situations to the extreme, ordering them as good or bad, which can lead to extreme interpretations that cause us emotional damage.

In addition, people who have a tendency to feel guilty tend to simplify their experiences and are not able to take perspective and/or relativize what happens to them, so they tend to be especially negative when evaluating these experiences.

Low self-esteem, a factor explaining guilt

Several studies have pointed out that a common factor among people with feelings of guilt is low self-esteem.. This problem is both a cause and an effect of poorly functioning social relationships, with a submissive relationship pattern.

The way in which we deal with this emotion is also a key point to understand the feeling of guilt, which can give rise to a negative or positive experience.

How to overcome feelings of guilt?

First of all, when we experience feelings of guilt we must realize that we are dealing with a feeling that has a function in our psyche, since it helps us learn from our mistakes. that this is a feeling that plays a role in our psyche, since it helps us to learn from the mistakes we have made and not to repeat them in the future. we have made and not to repeat them in the future.

In addition, psychologists point out that trying to repress this experience of Pain and guilt is not an effective strategy for coping with the situation. For these reasons it is crucial that we know how to reflect and have certain tools to understand the guilt and overcome it.

1. Facing the situation objectively

To control this obsessive thinking derived from guilt, it is important to face each situation in a positive way, understanding the part of responsibility that we are responsible for, but also knowing how to weigh the different variables that may have influenced what happened.

2. Understand that it's all part of learning

Guilt is our mind's way of telling us that there is something we have done wrong. This should not make us sad, but rather make us think about how we can improve in the future. We should use guilt to learn and improve as people.

3. Practice self-compassion

To get rid of feelings of guilt we must also practice self-compassion, that is, to know how to forgive ourselves for the mistakes we may have made in the past. It is not about falling into victimhood, but simply pondering the situations to understand what we could have done better.

4. Understand the complexity of the circumstances

There are situations in which circumstances cannot be controlled and we are overcome by an accumulation of factors.. This is a key point: assessing the influence of variables beyond our control will also make us relativize each situation, and therefore our responsibility will be much more delimited.

5. Apologize (if necessary)

Taking responsibility can be translated into taking certain concrete actions. For example, if you have the feeling that you have done wrong with someone, it is a good idea not to let time pass in vain and to apologize. This will give us a better view of ourselves, and we will be able to reconcile with this episode of the past.

6. Turn the page

Even if we are certain that we have acted unethically and feel guilty about something, we must have the courage to move on, we must have the courage to turn the page.. We all make mistakes in life, and if it is not in our hands to correct them, the wisest thing to do is to learn from the mistake and move on, forgiving ourselves.

7. Explain the situation to a person close to you

To gain perspective on the situation It may be a good idea to explain your concerns to someone close to you, such as a friend or family member.. They will be able to give you their opinion, and you may realize that the situation that is upsetting you was beyond your control, so the feeling of guilt can be alleviated.

8. Go to psychological therapy

Sometimes these feelings of guilt can settle in our mind and plunge us into a state of sadness, anxiety and invasive thoughts. In these cases, it is highly recommended that you seek the services of a mental health professional.

If you are immersed in a spiral of negativity, a psychologist can offer you a series of resources to help you get back to yourself.