How to respond to verbal aggression in 4 steps

Dealing with this kind of attack through insults and humiliation can be complex.

It is true that human beings have a natural tendency towards cooperation, but it is also true that, at times, we can become very cruel to each other. The frequency with which verbal aggression occurs is a case in point. At the end of the day, as much as we must live in society to survive, that does not mean that we must always get along, in all contexts.

In this article we will look at how to respond to verbal aggression, as well as strategies for dealing with it.and strategies for managing the emotions associated with this process.

How to react to verbal aggression?

Although we normally associate violence only with attacks directed against people's bodies or property, we must not forget that as sentient beings, words and symbols can also hurt us. Therefore, verbal aggression is a reality, and it is necessary to know how to position oneself in the face of it.

Of course, one of the facets of responsible behavior in this regard is not to use this kind of attack against others, but it doesn't end there. ¿How to respond to verbal aggression when it is directed at oneself??

In a situation of open hostility in which we are attacked by verbal aggression, remember the following guidelines to know not only how to act, but how to act. The following are the main guidelines to follow, assuming that verbal aggressions occur in a context where there is no risk of physical or economic harm, in which case we would be talking about a much more serious form of domination.

1. Be clear about the objective

It is necessary to keep in mind from the beginning that what we aspire to is, fundamentally, to protect our dignity and, secondly, to prevent this kind of attacks from happening again. This means that we seek neither revenge, nor to humiliate the other persongoals that are incompatible with the previous ones.

2. It adopts a distanced perspective

Before compromising situations like this one, it is necessary to adopt a certain critical distance with respect to what happens to us, not to let us get carried away. Part of the successful management of those moments when we are verbally attacked is simply not losing our nerves and knowing how to control ourselves.

In fact, sometimes the sole purpose of these aggressions is based on the expected effect of making us nervous, so that we cannot think rationally, thus creating an asymmetry in the power dynamics established in the dialogue. If we remain calm, we not only avoid this, but we also demonstrate our strength and confidence. we demonstrate our strength and self-confidence, something that makes us gain power.This is something that makes us gain power both in the eyes of the aggressor and in the eyes of possible observers who are not directly involved in what is happening. It is not necessary to give signals that the self-esteem is compromised, since this can give more motives to continue acting in the same way.

3. Draw attention to the offense

You cannot act as if verbal aggression is normal, so the first thing to do is to point out the fact that the other person is already starting from a disadvantageous situation.

In these cases it is good not to focus on how the attack makes us feel, as this can encourage the other person. Instead, it is better to to talk about these attacks as an easy recourse only resorted to by those who are less able to defend their positions in a coherent and reasoned manner. Everyone can use insults or personal allusions that only hinder the dialogue.

4. Deconstruct the other's attacks

Sometimes we forget that verbal aggressions are based on actions and statements that are totally questionable, and we simply focus on the discomfort they generate. But the truth is that through these attacks, the person issuing these aggressive messages is exposing himself, and runs the risk that what he does will be turned against him. This is what must be taken advantage of. At the end of the day, in many cases these attacks are a way of masking the poverty of the arguments used.

So it is good that, at least initially, we act as if there is content within these verbal attacks that is worth taking seriously, so as not to show a rigid and dogmatic attitude that is comparable to that of the other. comparable to that of the other person. In this way, we can explain, briefly, the reasons why the attacks received are absurd and unfounded.

However, it is essential that this step is always taken after the previous one, which consists of drawing attention to the denigrating content of the other person's messages.

5. Showing little patience

It is good to make it clear that our attitude is not the same as that of the attacker, but neither should we act as if the other person is doing his or her part to generate a profitable dialogue. That is why not to create elaborate responses to each new attack by the other person. by the other person.

If verbal aggression occurs a second time, the best thing to do is to stop seeing this person as a valid interlocutor, and stop paying attention to what he or she has to say, briefly explaining our reasons for doing this. This is a step to take right after the verbal aggression occurs, to emphasize the fact that this is unacceptable, and it is that, and no other, the reason for us to stop talking to that person.