How to stop constantly fighting with my partner: 8 tips
Several tips to prevent the occurrence of arguments and not to accumulate resentment.
Relationships are always complicated, because living with people with whom you share a lot is always complicated. The emotional involvement, the expectations of future plans and the fact of having to share tasks are potential sources of conflict, to which we also have to add other sacrifices related to dating and marriage.
This makes many people wonder.... How can I stop fighting so much with my partner on a daily basis? In this article we will see several tips on how to manage the coexistence between people in love, making arguments less frequent.
How to stop fighting so much with my partner?
Follow these guidelines to better regulate communication and emotions in your relationship, adapting these ideas to your specific case.
1. Manage your expectations
You should not assume that the goal is to never argue with your partner again, because that is unrealistic. Adopting the expectation of maintaining an ideal relationship where everything is all smiles in which everything is constantly smiling can be, in itself, a source of conflict, something that predisposes us to become frustrated and angry about any detail and imperfection.
2. Don't hold anything important back
The fact of avoiding conflict by hiding information is also something that can aggravate the problem, causing the chain of lies created to hide that generate discomfort and eventually anger when unpleasant surprises appear.
3. Adopt constructive attitudes
Some people confuse pointing out that the other person has done something wrong with humiliating the other person because he/she has done something wrong. The former is necessary so that the behavior is not repeated, but the latter only serves to make the other person defensive, reaffirms himself and believes that he has done nothing wrong..
It is a phenomenon that occurs through a process known as cognitive dissonance: if the other person shows a very bad image of us, one that deserves mockery, then the other person is wrong and as a consequence is not right to criticize our behavior.
4. Avoid mixing reproaches
It is important that, when complaining about something, we refer only to what we are criticizing at that moment, and that we do not use this as an excuse to bring up the subject of a previous discussion in order to have more ammunition with which to attack the other person. The latter is not honestIt does not serve to solve the problem and it also favors the appearance of conflicts.
5. Gives signs of affection
This is basic advice: since you love the other person, show it through daily displays of affection. Otherwise, only frustration and discontent will be evident at times when you argue, but not love. Therefore, the relationship can become a battlefield.
In short, it is important to be clear that love is not something to be taken for grantedIt must be expressed.
6. Talk a lot about what is going on
Another tip on how to stop arguing so much is based on the idea that many times these confrontations are caused by a lack of communication. This causes one of the partners to remain ignorant about a subject that he/she would consider important if he/she knew about it, and when he/she does know about it, he/she wonders what the reason for this lack of transparency is: lack of trust? Inability to think about the other person? Disinterest in your point of view?
7. Setting a limit to humor
Some people confuse humor with constantly ridiculing the other person. Not only does this not make sense, but in practice it can become something that significantly harms the partner, and in extreme and frequent cases it can be considered a type of psychological abuse. can be considered a type of psychological mistreatmentas is the case with gaslighting.
It is one thing to laugh with a person, and another to laugh at the person. Humor cannot be a shield with which to cover cruelty and attacks on the dignity of the other, because this generates frustration and anger, and more importantly, harms the victim.
8. Talk about your priorities
Knowing the other person's concerns and interests is essential to understand what moves him or her to act. Being aware of the other person's mental world allows you to make joint plans The situation in which the needs of one are subjugated to those of the other, with the consequent resentment and accumulated frustrations, does not occur.
(Updated at Apr 14 / 2024)