How to strengthen the bond between parents and children, in 6 key points

The simple fact of having offspring does not bring about love between these two generations.

Although we often forget it, love goes far beyond couple relationships. The affective bond that unites fathers and mothers with their sons and daughters is usually one of the strongest that exists. Fathers and mothers can make sacrifices for the well-being of their young (or not so young) children.

However, the simple fact of having offspring and forming a new family does not guarantee that the emotional relationships between the two generations of the family will always be strong, or that they will be stable and of good quality. Problems between parents and children are more frequent than we imagine.It is important to keep in mind that this is due to poor relationship management: something that can be avoided.

Here are some guidelines on how to make the parent-child relationship healthy and, if they exist, old resentments and grudges and that, if they exist, old grudges and resentments are left in the past. No conflict has to last forever.

How to strengthen the relationship between parents and children

In the relations of affection that are established between fathers, mothers and children a small change of attitude can do that angers and conflicts that seemed enquistados begin to disappear to a surprising speed.

Even if what there is is not resentment but indifference, it is perfectly possible to reconnect with the child.it is perfectly possible to reconnect with younger children by inviting them to engage in meaningful conversations and expressions of affection. Let's see how.

1. Go for physical contact

Although we often forget it, a good part of the relationships are established through physical contact: kisses, hugs, caresses... That is why it is good to promote them in parent-child relationships, as long as they are unplanned and arise spontaneously.. This advice consists not so much in "implanting" hugs, but in not repressing them.

2. Avoid interrogations

One of the techniques used by parents to try to establish communication with their children is to pose a succession of questions, which are usually answered tersely or with monosyllables by the youngsters, until they get tired and react angrily. This is a tactic to be avoided, as it is usually not effective in is often ineffective in creating a flowing dialogue..

Instead, it is much better to go for meaningful dialogue. If it is difficult to capture the attention of the son or daughter, it is better to assume that and not force them from the beginning to have to think about what they are going to say in response to the questions (this usually overwhelms those who are not willing to be very involved in an interaction).

How to do this? By speaking honestly about a topic that the young person may be interested in discussing. To do this, it is good to remember that form is more important than content (you can do a monologue on almost any topic, for example).

In this case, what makes what is said interesting is the fact of expressing from the beginning that it is an honest, personal and intimate reflection on what is being talked about. Printing this layer of intimacy in the message will easily awaken empathy in the person who, after all, is our son or daughter.

3. Manage schedules

Often, the weakening of the bond between parents and children is caused by a bad schedule. All relationships depend on practice, not theory, and if you don't share time together, being the "parent of" and the "child of" counts for more.If you don't share time together, the fact of being "parent of" and "child of" counts for very little. It is necessary to make the schedule have a sufficient amount of time to make family life.

4. Take an interest in their world

Many parents assume that it is impossible to understand anything that belongs to their children's generation. This, besides being a mistake in terms of family relationships, is totally false and is not supported by any side. Why would an adult be incapable of informing himself and understanding minimally what are the interests and references of his children? interests and referents of their children? What there are, many times, are simple excuses for not having to face this task.

If our daughter is interested in mountaineering, for example, we don't necessarily have to be, but we should understand what aspects of this activity make it stimulating, and in what way. In this way it is much easier to understand their world and their priorities and, of course, to empathize with them..

So, the next time you talk about something that interests you, adopt active listening and plan to really learn.

5. Keep the Smartphone away

Smartphones and tablets are very useful devices in many ways, but in face-to-face relationships they are distractors that wreak havoc on the quality of interaction. That's why any parent who wants to share quality time with his or her children should specifically see to it that these elements stay away when it's time to talk and share pleasant moments together. and sharing pleasant moments together.

6. Show willingness

If you want to make the bond with your son or daughter grow stronger, show it by taking the first steps, even if sometimes your pride or stubbornness will push you back. Yes, it can go wrong, and yes, this gesture of rapprochement may not be reciprocated.But it is important to be clear that this step is indispensable and that, at the end of the day, nothing relevant is at stake in case of rejection.