How to support gay teens

Adolescence is a time of vulnerability, and feeling rejected is very harmful.

Homosexuality remains a source of stigma in the vast majority, if not all, countries of the world. in the vast majority of the world's countries, if not in virtually every country. Tradition-based beliefs, which spread an essentialist and anti-scientific view of what human sexuality is, mean that for some people being homosexual means going against nature (even though it means nothing).

The effects of discrimination against sexual preferences that fall outside heterosexuality are particularly hard on homosexual adolescents, who are in the process of formingThey are in the process of forming their own identity and are more vulnerable to attacks that undermine their personality and prevent them from expressing themselves as they are.

Tips to support homosexual teenagers

In the following lines we will see some guidelines to follow in order to help homosexual adolescents in our environment to feel accepted, supported and respected, as well as to make them feel that they are not alone.We also want to make sure that they are not afraid to show their tastes and preferences just as any other person would.

1. Learn the basics about gender and sexuality.

This step is fundamental, as it will avoid confusion in dealing with these young people. The fact that for centuries heterosexuality has been considered "normal" has meant that heterosexuality has been associated with many other things linked to gender and sexuality. associated with many other gender-related things that have also been considered normal and socially that have also been considered normal and socially desirable.

For example, there are those who understand that to be homosexual is to feel of a gender that does not correspond to that denoted by their genitals, or to have attitudes and actions associated with those of the opposite sex.

Thus, it is necessary to distinguish between Biological sex, sexual orientation, gender identity and gender roles. Gender identity consists of the gender to which one's identity is associated (although there are also people who do not identify with any gender), and gender roles are the set of tasks, actions and behavioral styles that have been socially assigned to a gender.

2. Keep in mind that homosexuality is not something exotic.

You cannot treat a homosexual adolescent as if he/she were a museum piece. That is to say, behaviors like asking a lot of questions about his or her lifestyle and sexual preferences. It's one thing to worry about making him feel comfortable, but it's another to overwhelm him. reminding him again and again of his orientation; in this context, it is normal for him to consider that there is something wrong with him.

3. Help them understand that they are not to blame for discrimination.

Unfortunately, it is still normal for homosexual people to suffer psychological or even physical attacks because they are homosexual. But the main harmful effect of this is often not the acute discomfort that each attack generates, but the way in which these experiences can lead to thinking about oneself. Just World Theory explains that there is a tendency to think that in the face of clear cases of suffering, it is likely that the victim has done something to deserve it, and this also applies to self-concept.

Thus, in the face of continued attacks, the idea that if there is so much hatred it must be for a legitimate reason, gains strength, and this not only undermines self-esteem, but leads to confusion about what one is and what one must do to deserve to live in peace.

• You may be interested in, "Just World Theory: do we get what we deserve?"

4. Listen to their real concerns

Each case is unique, so you have to know how to adapt to the person you are dealing with. In the case of young gay men, it's easy for stereotypes to make us give stereotypes can easily lead us to assume things that are not really true..

That is why we must listen carefully to what they explain about themselves, without letting our beliefs and schemas distort the content of their message. Only in this way will we know how to support homosexual adolescents in the right way and without falling into simplism.

5. Promote their integration in groups, but do not force them to do so

In adolescence, it is very important to feel accepted by a group. Unfortunately, young people of the new generations do not necessarily have to be more respectful of the diversity of sexual orientations than adults. In fact, in the case of boys, there is a toxic masculinity that makes them feel accepted by a group, there is a toxic masculinity that makes it common to mistreat those who deviate who deviates from the prototype of the tough, violent and, of course, heterosexual man.

That is why it is good to help these young men who are more likely to be excluded to find a group in which they can integrate well. However, we must be respectful of their preferences and interests, and not pressure them to join a specific group if they do not want to.

6. Show references beyond heterosexuality.

It is very positive for adolescents to find references that inspire them to develop their personality. In this sense, meeting someone who is homosexual and shows positive or even admirable values is beneficial because it shows that this sexual orientation does not have to be a reason to be ashamed.