How to talk to your ex after a period of time apart: 5 tips

Several ideas for a normal dialogue with our former romantic partners.

If the process of breaking up is already complicated in itself and carries with it a strong emotional and carries with it a strong emotional burden, getting back together with an ex-partner is no less so.

This is reflected when we relate to those who in the past were our lovers, or even husbands and wives. Sometimes these bonds are very damaged and it is very complicated to have a normal relationship with the other person, but in others what happens is that we make the problem bigger than it really is, and that harms communication and fuels unnecessary drama.

Not giving up the possibility of having at least one more conversation with that significant person when some time has passed since the breakup is important, because it helps us to recover from the psychological Pain generated by the heartbreak. Let's see, then, how to talk to your ex after a whileregardless of whether you have a partner or not.

How to talk to your ex-partner without losing control of communication.

Something very significant of the extent to which the lack of love can affect us is the fact that many people prefer to completely cut off contact with those who were their partners once the relationship ends and, and when by chance a chance meeting occurs in the street, they are overcome with a great sense of unease.they are overcome by a great uneasiness.

In reality, however, we need not fear the possibility of talking to an ex-partner; we should not take for granted that these encounters must be traumatic. It is even possible that, after some time has passed since the breakup, in some cases a friendship may appear. In the following lines, then, we will look at several tips on how to talk to your ex without entering into dynamics that favor conflict or avoidable emotional wounds..

1. Find your main objective

Faced with a situation in which it is easy for so many emotions to surface, it is possible that we find ourselves lost, not knowing exactly what to do. Therefore, we must try to find the specific objective we are pursuing when talking to our ex-partner.

First of all, we must distinguish between chance encounters and relatively planned conversations.

In the first case, we may have to decide as we go along, based on what we feel, what we want.. In many cases we will only be guided by mild curiosity if there is no genuine interest in the stage of life that person is going through, and in this situation it is entirely correct to subtly point out that we are not looking for a very long and deep conversation.

In the event that the conversation has been planned, we will have more time to think about what we want. what we want. A hint: if our goal has to do with venting, it is advisable not to talk to the other person, because this can rekindle the discomfort of the time of the breakup. Whatever happens, the conversation should not be based on confrontation, although it does not have to be very close and friendly either.

2. Act according to what you have shared.

For better or worse, an ex-partner knows many things about us, and we know many things about them. That is why, it is out of place to express ourselves with too rigid a formalityor with an attitude of absolute ignorance of what the other person is explaining to us.

3. Avoid assigning blame

Not being obsessed with assigning blame is a sign that the breakup has been overcome. This does not mean, of course, not thinking that it is possible to detect someone responsible for certain problems in the past, but it does mean that the need to remind the other person of the existence of these failures is not so strong as to make him or her feel that he or she is not responsible for them. is not so strong as to make the conversation revolve around it..

4. Keep in mind why the relationship ended

Do not forget those revealing experiences that were once related to the outcome of the breakup. It is one thing not to reproach, and another to pretend that we did not learn anything during that love relationship.

5. Do not suggest plans without previous signals

If you want to return the relationship to normal and make it go from non-existent to friendly, do not start by suggesting plans; wait to see if the other person expresses himself/herself in a friendly and open way, instead of distant and distrustful.

If the former is the case and this attitude has been maintained for several minutes during which more or less personal issues have been discussed, you can try to propose a planIf this is the case, but only if it has been made clear that you do not want to return to the kind of intimate relationship you had in the past.

In any case, if your ex-partner refuses, you should accept this as normal, because in this kind of context it is relatively normal and may be part of a decision that the other person has taken a priori, before even talking to you, simply as a precaution.