I feel I hate my family: what to do and how to solve it?

Problems of coexistence with the family can lead to confrontations and broken ties.

The family represents a source of support that is often unconditional, and depending on the age in which we find ourselves, this nucleus fulfills different roles that help us to mature.

But sometimes it could happen that we do not understand why our family acts with us in a way that does not seem to us the most correct; we consider that our relatives are unfair and we believe that they are not capable of understanding our needs. Such behavior could generate a feeling of hostility towards them.

In this article we will review what to do if you are one of those people who have the typical "I hate my family" thought.. We will see some effective reconciliation methods and the best alternatives for such cases.

I feel that I hate my family: what to do?

To deal with this situation largely requires an exercise of personal introspection, that is, to evaluate ourselves and review what is going on in us, why we have these feelings towards our relatives. Fostering our emotional intelligence will help a lot, let's see how.

1. Acknowledging our feelings

This consists of accepting what you feel at first, regardless of whether it is true or not. This will help you take the next step, which is to review why you feel the way you do. The sooner you recognize the feeling and accept it, the closer you will be to overcoming it..

2. Review our family expectations

Many times we expect our family to provide everything and understand us in all cases, forgetting that they also have needs and need understanding. Having realistic expectations as to what you expect to receive from your family helps to avoid frustration levels towards those people.

3. Avoid letting the past influence

It is common for fights to happen in families at certain times, for various reasons. But it should always be remembered that conflicts are temporary, even though the family is forever.. Do not allow old grudges to continue limiting your family life.

4. Find the real reason

This refers to the level of introspection that we can have. Once you have accepted your feelings, it is time to see why they are there, but being completely honest with ourselves. being completely honest with ourselves. As uncomfortable as they may be, you should recognize the real reasons for your anger towards them and channel that discomfort in a constructive way.

5. Keep in mind that your family is part of who you are.

The rejection towards the relatives could be caused by a rejection towards aspects of our own personality that we do not like, but that we are unable to recognize or accept. That is why it is important to take the time to evaluate ourselves before disowning others.

Effective methods of reconciliation

Now let's look at some tools that can be very useful when seeking family reconciliation, when it comes to making the feeling of "I hate my family" disappear. After we have realized why we were experiencing the feelings of discomfort towards our family, it is time to practice new styles of family reconciliation, it is time to practice new ways of living together.. Let's take a look at them.

1. Avoid comparisons

When living together, we must always bear in mind that each person is unique in all aspects.

We should avoid making comparisons between our relatives or between other families and our own.. The best thing to do is always to accept our loved ones as they are. We must learn to love them.

2. Practice active listening

One of the best ways to avoid conflicts is to know how to listen.. This means that we must interpret what others tell us in an assertive way, that is, listen to what they are really saying and not what we think we understood.

3. Family therapy

Bearing in mind that families are nuclei made up of people who, although they have things in common, they also have differences, family therapy is very useful to make us more tolerant. and learn tools for living together.

Personal alternatives in these cases

When this situation arises in our life, it is important that we not only focus the solution on collective coexistence, but also on our personal growth. on our personal growthWe should evaluate which aspects of ourselves we could improve.

1. Avoid generalizing

When we say "I hate my family" we are including almost all the members of our family tree, which is totally irrational.This is totally irrational.

We may have some specific differences with some members of our close or not so close family, but in any case we must specify with whom exactly there is hostility for specific reasons, in order to solve this properly.

2. Renew ties with your family

This refers to putting into practice new ways of relating to them, being aware that the previous ways were not healthy, and looking for the best options to be at peace with the family.

3. Learn from adversities

When we go through difficult times in our lives, including family conflicts, we can always draw a valuable lesson from them, we can always gain a valuable lesson from that.. Keep in mind that you cannot avoid conflicts, but you can learn from them to lessen and avoid repetitive arguments.

Bibliographical references:

• Stoop, D. and Masteller, J. (1997). Forgiving Our Parents, Forgiving Ourselves: Healing Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families. Regal.
• Neuharth, D. (1999). If you had parental control. Harper paperback.