I feel lonely: 5 causes and possible solutions to loneliness

For women, loneliness can take on characteristic forms. Let's see what they are.

We can all feel that no one is able to understand us, that no matter how much we express our feelings, we remain misunderstood.We may feel that no matter how much we express our feelings, we remain misunderstood. This brings with it, as a side effect, a constant feeling of loneliness. Moreover, in the case of women, loneliness takes certain forms more frequently; traditional gender roles can lead to certain forms of isolation.

Thus, it is common to hear the typical phrase "I'm lonely, it is common to hear the typical phrase "I feel lonely", even though this girl may be lonely.even though she may be surrounded by people. The feeling of loneliness is irrational and does not respond to the facts as they are happening, but is rather a feeling of subjective character. In this article we will see how to manage these situations.

Why does this feeling of loneliness appear?

It is necessary to know how to properly manage this situation in order to get rid of the feeling of loneliness without it bringing us major problems, which may not be easy at first. Once we have learned to identify the causes, we are equipped to deal with the situation.

Some people, for example, may feel lonely after their social expectations are not adequately met, which leads them to think of themselves in a different way.This leads them to think irrationally that the same thing will always happen and that there is no point in expressing their emotions. It is then that the feeling of loneliness arises and with it the classic thought "I am lonely".

After having made an effort to satisfactorily meet the demands of others, we usually always expect something in return. We expect the other person to make an equal effort to meet our demands or requests. When this does not happen we feel frustrated and lonely, we feel that we have given more than our fair share and have not received retribution for it.

In the case of women this situation can be capable of doing more harm. This is because the female gender tends to be more empathetic than its male counterpart, which is why the phrase "I feel lonely" is so common, women give empathy but also demand it.

More common causes of this feeling

Other possible reasons why loneliness can appear are the following.

1. Social pressure to devote oneself to one's family.

Many times when women reach an age between 30 and 40 years old, they enter a period of reflection that makes them question whether the decisions they have made during their lives have been the best ones. The idea that they will no longer meet interesting people because of social pressure to focus on the goal of starting a family can be very damaging. can be very damaging.

2. Personal stagnation

Worrying about not having achieved personal projects is also a factor that leads women to feel lonely. Generally, not having children after the age of 30 or not having a steady partner are social stigmas that affect many women's peace of mind and in many cases there is a desperate desire to meet someone special just for this reason.

3. Superficial relationships

When our friendship relationships are not meaningful, and instead are based more on the superficial, the feeling of loneliness will not be long in coming. We always need to express our feelings and listen to what our true friends have to say.

4. The grieving process

The loss of a loved one can trigger feelings of loneliness, regardless of whether it is through death or moving to another country. Feeling the absence of that important person will imminently bring the feeling that we have been left alone.

5. Too much work

If most of your life revolves around work (paid or unpaid), there is no free time left and it is hardly possible to establish quality relationships with other people. Considering that many women have to devote their efforts to both developing a career and doing most of the housework, this is a problem.

I feel lonely: what to do about it?

The first thing to do is to acknowledge the emotion, accept the fact that you feel lonely, and avoid falling into denial. Then, identify the possible causes of your feelings of loneliness. Ask yourself: why do I feel lonely?

Now you must act; once you have recognized the emotion and identified the reasons, the ideal thing to do is to take action to change our current situation. Some things you can do to stop the feeling of loneliness from being present in this way are the following activities.

1. Write a journal

It may seem like a childish resource, but it is very effective at a therapeutic level. When you put your feelings and emotions down on paper, you do it in a more intimate way.If you are in contact with yourself, it becomes easier for you to recognize things that may be affecting you at an unconscious level.

2. Avoid self-pity

Do not feed your feeling of loneliness with complaints towards yourself or others, face your situation head on, consider that your happiness and emotional peace depend only on what you think and do. You will never be alone if you never abandon yourself, you are your source of inspiration to achieve the goals you set for yourself.

3. Do meditation

Meditating 15 minutes a day for 8 weeks can reduce negative thoughts associated with loneliness. associated with loneliness. Learning to meditate is not difficult, you don't need to read any complicated books or sign up for courses. Just get comfortable, close your eyes and focus on your breathing. Don't think about whether you are doing it right or wrong, just relax in the process.

4. Practice exercise

Exercise has a wealth of benefits for our overall health, and contributes greatly to keeping us happy because when we work out our brains secrete dopamine (the happiness hormone), and it keeps us in contact with other people. Adopting a happier attitude also makes it easier to socialize.

5. Meet new people online

The Internet is a great tool for meeting people with common interests. There are forums and group pages dedicated to hobbies, fields of study that arouse personal interest, etc.

Bibliographical references:

• Larson, R.; Csikszentmihalyi, M.; Graef, R. (1982). "Time alone in daily experience: Loneliness or renewal?". In Peplau, Letitia Anne; Perlman, Daniel. Loneliness: A sourcebook of current theory, research and therapy. New York: John Wiley and Sons. pp. 41-53.
• McPherson, M.; Smith-Lovin, L.; Brashears, M. E. (2006). "Social Isolation in America: Changes in Core Discussion Networks over Two Decades". American Sociological Review. 71 (3): 353–75.