I have no friends: 6 possible causes, and what to do

Tips to stop feeling lonely and have more friends to share experiences with.

The main concern of many people in the world can be summed up in one phrase: "I have no friends".. However, no one is born predestined to be alone. In this article we will see some keys to understand why in certain occasions the feeling of absolute solitude appears, and what can be done to remedy it.

"I have no friends": possible explanations

The number of friendships is based on predispositions based largely on temperament and character. The difference between popular and friendless people lies mainly in personality characteristics.

It is common to see how in different social environments there are subjects to whom interpersonal relationships seem to be a given, having a tremendous facility to engage in conversation and to maintain friendships over time.

Then we have the other side of the coin, the subjects who find it very difficult to make social contact, they usually do not know what to say during social interaction. they do not know what to say during social interactionThey are overcome by anxiety and end up saying "I have no friends".

However, the context also plays a role. A person with a genetic predisposition to be shy is not doomed to have few or no friends, nor is someone who has been socializing easily since childhood necessarily always very popular.

With this in mind, let's move on to the causes that may cause a person to have no friends. There may be factors of upbringing that have generated insecurity in the person and this can be reflected in the absence of friends, and there are also factors of Biological origin that can influence; Autism Spectrum Disorders are associated with a significant lack of friends.

Some people sometimes ask themselves the question "why don't I have friends?" and do not come up with a clear answer. Below we will see the most frequent and important causes in most cases.

1. We are shy people

Being shy or withdrawn to social contact can make us fall into a kind of voluntary isolation from which it is very difficult for us to We prefer to stay in our comfort zone rather than expose ourselves to a social situation that may be uncomfortable for us.

2. Histrionic behavior

The histrionic person is one who is accustomed to constantly attracting attention. For these people, conversations must revolve around their person or else they will not feel comfortable.

3. Choleric temperament

These are people who are easily irritated. At the slightest adverse stimulus they are capable of reacting with violence (verbal, physical or psychological). They have low tolerance to frustration and this results in difficulty in having friendly relationships.

4. Emotional dependence

When we are emotionally dependent we focus most of our energies on pleasing the person on whom we are dependent and we forget that we can also relate to other people. we forget that we can also relate to other people in a healthy way..

5. Mythomania

The pathological liar usually appears to have a good relationship with his peers and seems to be able to create abundant social bonds, but this is nothing more than a mask, a layer of smoke that hides the reality. Subjects who lie on a recurrent basis are not able to establish quality social relationships. When others become aware of the lies, they end up distancing themselves.

6. Extreme passivity

Some people have trouble making friends simply because they do not get involved in social activities in which others participate.. For example, they prefer to decline invitations to events where it is very easy to get to know others on an informal level: after-work dinners, group outings, etc.

What to do to avoid feeling lonely and gain friendships

Now that we have seen the main causes that can lead a person to ask "why don't I have friends?" we will see what we can do to increase our social circle in a healthy way, establishing lasting and quality relationships. When it comes to friends, it is important to keep in mind that what matters most is quality and not quantity.

1. Find the things that unite you with others

This refers to being aware of the things we have in common with other people. When we realize that there are coincidences in tastes or opinions with someone else we can take that to start a conversation.

2. Ask about their emotions

Once we have been able to start the conversation it is important to ask about the other person's emotions. This strengthens the bond and puts us on the path to having a lasting, quality friendship.

3. Show yourself vulnerable

Some people believe that vulnerability is synonymous with weakness, but nothing could be further from the truth. When we have a friendship relationship with someone and we trust that person, being vulnerable by showing our feelings helps to strengthen that bond. helps to strengthen that bond. It is a sign of trust that the other identifies and values.

4. Break the routine

To have friends it is important to get out of the comfort zone and try interesting things in the company of others. For example, we may have acquaintances at the office or at school with whom we get along well, but we can make plans and meet in another environment. making plans and getting together in another environment can take friendship to the next level..

5. Stay close

Once we have successfully established a friendship with someone, it is important to maintain frequent contact with that person. We're not going to become stalkers or anything like that, but showing interest by texting to see how our friend is doing is a good way to stay close. We have to be careful not to invade each other's personal space otherwise it will backfire.

6. Develop new hobbies

If you harvest diverse hobbies, it will be easier to connect with others. Therefore, spend time learning or developing projects associated with the desire to learn or to establish hobbies; even if some of them are not done in a group, they will indirectly make it easier for you to have topics of conversation.

And besides, you can always look for friends in groups and forums of people with the same interests, thanks to the diversity of platforms available on the Internet.