Jealousy between siblings: how to detect it and what can we do?

This type of intrafamily conflict is very frequent when the fear of being isolated appears.

Sibling jealousy is one of the main problems in some families with young children. in which there are young children. Although childhood is a time of discovery and illusion, it is also true that it is a phase in which the relative irrationality of children can be combined with the competitive spirit and the need for acceptance and attention, resulting in an explosive mixture.

The simple fact of no longer being the center of attention from the moment a baby brother or sister is born sometimes produces a frustration that is difficult for a minor to manage. However, sometimes it is not the birth order that triggers this type of conflict between children, and the root of the problem may lie in a self-esteem damaged by other factors.

In any case, it is clear that it is necessary to recognize the symptoms of jealousy between siblings to intervene as soon as possible and bring peace to a relationship that should be characterized only by affection..

The symptoms or signs that there is jealousy between siblings.

Every family is different, so, to some extent, the normal thing is that there is variability in the way in which jealousy between siblings is expressed. However, there are certain behavioral dynamics that are very common when these intrafamilial conflicts arise.. They are the following.

1. Teasing at the slightest opportunity

Where there is jealousy between siblings, there is mockery, as this is a way of disguising an attack a way of disguising an attack by passing it off as an act of expressing humor.

2. Direct aggressions

This type of attacks, which consist of actions aimed at causing Pain to the other, are more typical of children than of adolescents, although they can occur in both age groups. can occur in both age groups. Among boys they are more frequent, and when jealousy is very intense, it is not even necessary to have an excuse to attack the other.

3. Indirect aggressions: attempts to make their friends move away

Indirect aggression is that in which an attempt is made to make the social circles that serve as support for a person move away from him or her, leaving him/her in a situation of relative isolation. This is very typical of siblings who are jealous of each other, especially in the case of girls and adolescents, while boys are more prone to direct aggression.

4. Attempts to attract parental attention

This symptom appears more clearly in children who have not yet gone through puberty, while in adolescents it is less frequent and more subtle. in adolescents this tends to occur less frequently and more subtly, since at that stage young people have a relatively self-sufficientThis symptom appears more clearly in children who have not yet gone through puberty, while in adolescents it tends to occur less frequently and more subtly, since at that stage young people have a model of the ideal self that is relatively self-sufficient and does not need the opinions of fathers and mothers.

For example, what in childhood may consist of constantly wanting to show drawings and handicrafts made by the child, in adolescence becomes singing in the dining room where everyone is pretending that they are just practicing, or getting into a debate on topics that neither interest them nor of which they know a minimum of information.

However, this sign is less evident than the previous ones, and has to be analyzed in its context to find out if it really appears because of jealousy.

Tips to prevent or solve the problem.

Among the steps to follow to combat sibling jealousy, the following stand out.

1. Spend time with him/her

Much of the jealousy arises from the fear of being forgotten, left aside by the family. For that reason, it is important to give clearly the message that the existence of the brothers or sisters does not mean that its value diminishes, and since nothing speaks as much as the acts, it is best to exercise this affection through shared daily moments..

2. If a baby brother or sister is to be born, plan the transition.

In cases where a baby is going to be born, it is good to prevent problems by explaining that, due to the special needs of this person who will come into the world, he or she will have more people watching him or her than those who have been growing up for some time. To help you in this task, it may be helpful to use photos or videos showing what the child we are explaining was like as a baby, so that he can see how he was treated.

3. Let them tell you how they feel

It doesn't all have to be about giving messages one-sidedly. Let him express himself, to tell you about their fears or possible reasons for discomfort.. Support comes in the form of sharing good times and being there for the bad times.

4. Give him or her a role in raising the brother or sister.

If the person for whom he or she may develop jealousy is younger or of a similar age, it is good to give him or her the task of helping to raise the sibling, it's good to give him or her the task of helping to raise the sibling.. In this way, another meaning is given to the care that the other receives, and it becomes part of a stimulating mission in which, in addition, the child who previously felt jealous shares roles with adults (albeit in a much more limited way than adults, and adapted to their physical and psychological characteristics).