Lack of empathy in the couple: 8 tips on what to do

Lack of empathy in a couple's relationship can wear down the bond of affection.

No couple's relationship is free of difficulties; what will make the difference is the ability to face these conflicts and overcome them. When lack of empathy in a couple becomes a problem, it is difficult to bring problems to a successful conclusion.

In this article we will see how a lack of empathy significantly affects couples, and we will take a look at why empathy is a problem.In this article we will review some effective ways to prevent and overcome this situation when it has already become a difficulty for the relationship.

Lack of empathy in the couple: how does it affect us?

The lack of empathy in the couple is a situation that intensely affects the couple's coexistence, taking into account that empathy refers to the capacity that people have to put themselves in the other person's place and to feel the other person's and feel their suffering in a real way. That is to say, if you are empathic you can feel other people's Pain as your own, and sympathize with them.

In love relationships this factor is essential for the couple to overcome the adversities of affective coexistence.

When there is a lack of significant empathy within the love bond, then the relationship becomes dysfunctional.then the relationship becomes dysfunctional, resulting in a negative outcome for both partners.

On the one hand, the person who does not receive empathy is placed in a situation of vulnerability, given that he/she is alone regardless of whether the other person is with him/her in terms of relationship (technically), there is no real accompaniment on an emotional or affective level.

On the other hand, the partner who does not provide empathy is placed in a situation of inflicting affective pain, even if he/she does nothing to offend or intentionally mistreat the other, it is precisely this lack of emotionality that results in damage.

In couple relationships, the partners must be emotionally linked so that the sadness of the other becomes the sadness of both, and starting from that affective connection the best solutions can be reached together..

But when this empathic bond does not exist on the part of one, or even both parties, then the relationship wears out. When there is no empathy some relationships are able to last for some time, but usually end on bad terms.

How to overcome this situation in the couple?

Now we are going to see a list of tips to overcome the lack of empathy in the couple, or failing that, to rethink things better with respect to your relationship.

1. Value your partner's opinions

The bond of empathy begins to be cultivated through mutual respect.A first step can be to take our partner's opinions more into account. Not only listen to them to answer, but actively listen to what they have to tell us.

2. Avoid value judgments

A fairly common mistake in couple relationships is often the value judgments made by value judgments issued by pure whim of one of the partners, without any support.without having any kind of support to do so. These kinds of unjustified opinions only serve to further alienate the other person and generate distrust in the relationship; they should be avoided.

3. Cultivate patience

A virtue that should prevail in couple relationships, especially in complicated moments, is patience. This ability to withstand the impulses to act or say things at a certain moment leads us to an empathetic behavior towards the other since it facilitates communicationWe must encourage patience.

4. It favors understanding

We must understand that we will not always be rightand that sometimes it is good to give our arm to twist when we have been wrong. It is important to reach understanding in couple relationships, to be able to see things as they are really happening, and not as we would like them to be.

5. Practice kindness

A couple's relationship should be based on mutual respect and kindness in the members of the affective bond. Regardless of the jokes that may exist in the context of the relationship, affectionate treatment must always prevail in the couple's dynamics. This point is essential to achieve empathy.

6. Take care of the way in which you express yourself.

It is not the same to participate in a kind and calm way, than to do it by shouting and insults. This aspect is also part of the kindness in the couple, but based on assertive speech. It is not enough just to say things, but also to know how to say them. you also have to know how to say them..

7. Make peace a goal

Regardless of the conflict that arises, try to visualize a possible outcome where you both end up in healthy peace, both at the relationship level and at the individual level. If you make peace a goal within your relationship, you will eventually achieve solving problems in an appropriate and constructive manner.

8. Bet on honesty

Sometimes the lack of empathy can be caused by the absence of affection towards the other person, sometimes there are cases where couples maintain a relationship based solely on the habit of being together.

This is not the most recommendable thing for any of the members of the couple, the ideal is to be honest with oneself and to be conscious of what we feel for the other person. Sometimes it is better to take a step aside for the emotional well-being of both.

Bibliographical references:

• Fehr, B., Russell, J. (1991). The Concept of Love Viewed From a Prototype Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• Shaver, P. R., Wu, S., & Schwartz, J. C. (1992). Cross-cultural similarities and differences in emotion and its representation: A prototype approach.