Mª Teresa Mata Massó: "Emotions are not harmful, what can be harmful is the relationship we create with them".

We interviewed a psychologist expert in the field of emotional intelligence.

Emotional intelligence is one of the most popular concepts in modern psychology, and nobody doubts the importance of managing emotions in our well-being. Being emotionally intelligent helps us to make better decisionsto perform better at work, to have interpersonal relationships of higher quality, among other advantages.

Interview with Mª Teresa Mata Massó, psychologist and psychotherapist.

Today we talk to Mª Teresa Mata Massó, general health psychologist and teacher of the online emotional intelligence training course, to help us understand the importance of this concept and its benefits for people's mental health and well-being.

In recent years there has been a lot of talk about emotional intelligence, how would you define this concept? Each person has a unique and non-transferable system of thoughts and emotions. Others can empathize with it, but each individual is an expert in his or her own content. Based on this preamble, we can say that emotional intelligence is that part of intelligence that pays special attention to the functionality of this system and seeks the necessary tools to ensure its sustainability.

Each of us has "glasses" from which we construct the world based on four essential factors: the first is life experience, that is, all those experiences we have throughout our lives that condition this system of thoughts and emotions. The second is the emotional inheritance; each person is part of a family, a city, a culture, etc.

There are a whole series of social and educational elements that have been transferred to us and that interfere in how we see reality. The third factor is those traits that define the personality; they also play a role in the "focus" of our glasses. And the fourth is the vital moment in which we find ourselves, the "here and now"; at 50 we do not see life in the same way as we did at 30.

The work of emotional intelligence tests this system of thoughts and emotions to demonstrate its degree of functionality by considering the person as an expert in his or her own life history.

Why is it important to be an emotionally intelligent person? What effect does emotional intelligence have on our lives?

For one simple reason: to function in a sustainable way. That is, with an optimal level of well-being and an acceptable degree of suffering in order to have a sense of living rather than surviving.

Developing emotional intelligence means questioning certain "comfort zones" from which we feel safe (but not comfortable) and discovering what exists outside. Getting out of the comfort zone means contemplating new points of view, putting into practice new ways of doing, creating new thoughts, feeling new ways of being and being, increasing the capacity to create and restructure, etc.

Sometimes we remain immobile in certain comfort zones out of fear of the unknown, insecurity or disbelief in our potential. Staying locked in has a price. This is what emotional intelligence tries to show.

So, following on from the question that opened this interview, being emotionally intelligent means being aware of the degree of well-being we gain and lose, inside and outside the comfort zone, in order to set a goal that directs us towards change (at the right time). It is not always smart to get out of a comfort zone, it is important to find the way and the moment according to our needs and those of the environment.

Are there emotions that are harmful to our health? Which ones are the most harmful to us?

Emotions are not harmful, what can be harmful is the relationship we establish with them. Every emotion has a function. If we ignore (here we would speak of a relationship of denial) the emotion, sooner or later it will seek a way to claim its right to exist and be understood.

Why is it so important to accept emotions, and what are the consequences of repressing them?

Repressing an emotion means not allowing this emotion to exist. This is different from slowing down, containing, relaxing or withdrawing at times (i.e. controlling the emotion). From emotional intelligence we look for the efficient expression of the emotion. This means that, as far as possible, it should be functional, help us to "win rather than lose" and preserve our self-esteem. In other words, the management we carry out must be consistent with our needs and respectful. Of course, this does not prevent emotion from generating discomfort.

Do you think that the importance of emotional intelligence is taken into account in schools, and is enough being done in the educational field?

In my opinion, currently, a better psycho-educational work is being done in schools (they teach what emotional intelligence is) but not enough live feedback is created through practical examples.

The fact of generating insight at key moments in the classroom (for example, when a colleague has not accepted constructive criticism, when another has set an unassertive limit, when the emotional expression is installed in the complaint and does not offer a speech that speaks from the need, when the visible emotion is anger and, behind it, hides a deep sadness, etc.) is the best way to teach. Helping students through questions that open the option to detect destructive thoughts, propose more complete discourses and promote unattempted solutions, is a real way to put emotional intelligence into practice.

How is emotional intelligence integrated into psychological therapy?

Personally, first of all, I focus on how the patient constructs his own "glasses", that is, his vision of the world, and I act as a mirror to increase his capacity for introspection and self-knowledge. Subsequently, we jointly assess the level of functionality of these glasses and look for hypotheses that reinforce the meaning of their construction through life experiences, personality traits, inherited meanings and all those events that define their current moment.

In psychotherapy as in training courses, we still resort to experience and discover useful information in life history, we always go back to the here and now, we never stay anchored in the past, we look at how it influences the present. Likewise, in any exercise, we look for a utility in the reality of the moment with questions like "and what does this mean in my life?" or "where can I start acting? Concreteness is one of the principles of emotional intelligence.

After a psychotherapy session, insight increases. New lines of thought are awakened and hitherto unknown options are born, previously unattempted options are mobilized.

In addition to psychotherapy and education, in what other fields is emotional intelligence applied?

Emotional intelligence is a pillar in the world of business and organizations. Those teams that train in emotional intelligence, prepare their workers to communicate by adding, streamline procedures that have been hindered or expired, create new scenarios that, without working together, would still be unknown, etc.

Emotional intelligence is the fundamental tool for harnessing human potential. Fortunately, more and more companies are betting on this type of training through experiential dynamics and practical online training. From our center we design programs to increase the efficient and sustainable work within a team.

You teach the "Emotional Intelligence Training Online Course". Who is this training aimed at and what are the benefits for the people who take it?

The emotional intelligence online course is the result of 8 years of experiential work in group training. Its syllabus and methodology have been designed with the objective of bringing the user a similar experience to face-to-face training with the advantages of distance learning. Elements such as tutor follow-up, practical and intelligent assignments, live interaction through webinars as well as the classroom concept are some of the elements that characterize this course.

The target audience is professionals from the world of health, education, social sciences and organizations. Training for all those interested in learning in a practical way the procedures and strategies of emotional intelligence training.

Among the main topics we work on in the online course we highlight how to obtain useful information from an emotion, what strategic questions we can use to manage conflicts, what reasons are hidden behind the difficulty of saying no, what we can propose to carry out an unintended solution, what tools we have to set limits, what is a positive-realistic goal or what is emotional plasticity and how we can integrate sustainable mechanisms in our work and personal life.

With this course the user can feel that he is doing practical and useful work in his daily life without leaving home.