Mistrust in relationships: 11 ways it hurts us.

Several ways in which mistrust in couple relationships affects the love bond.

Couple relationships are a bond that is based on several key aspects to achieve an adequate coexistence between the members. Within this range of factors is trust, which has a determining importance in this affective bond.

In this article we will see how mistrust affects us in the couple's relationshipWe will also review what are the main signs that it is present in the love bond.

How does distrust in the other affect the couple?

As we have seen above, trust in the couple plays a determining role in the relationship. When we get involved with someone in a sentimental way, we need to feel secure with that person, to have guarantees that this relationship has a stable future. When we do not achieve this emotional stability, we fall prey to anxiety..

Mistrust in a relationship is a silent enemy, since it does not imply an imminent breakup. does not imply an imminent ruptureIt does, however, wear down the emotional bond to the point of damaging coexistence, sometimes permanently.

It makes no sense to be in a relationship where most of the time you have doubts about your partner's commitment to you.

As insecurity and mistrust gain ground, the mental and emotional toll also begins to become much greater, which inevitably affects the quality of life. inevitably affects the quality of life of those affected by these negative feelings..

Intrusive thoughts that do not allow us to concentrate properly on the most mundane things of our daily lives, lack of desire to do our activities, the need to be checking that everything is fine in the relationship... These are just some of the ways in which mistrust undermines couple relationships and the quality of people's individual lives.

Signs of distrust in a couple's relationship

Let us now look at some of the more specific complications that tend to occur when inappropriate feelings of mistrust and insecurity affect people in their relationship life.

1. Sleep problems

Mistrust generates in the person who suffers it an alteration in the content of their recurring thoughts, which take on a catastrophic tendency.which take a catastrophic and anxiety-generating tendency. It is usually difficult for the subject to fall asleep due to these negative thoughts, which intensify at night.

Lack of attention

When mistrust appears in the couple, it usually occupies a large part of the person's time, and involves the use of cognitive resourcesIt involves the use of cognitive resources; thinking, analysis, and of course attention, which is compromised. The subject finds it difficult to focus on their daily activities because of anxiety.

3. Mood swings

Mood swings (affective lability) are frequent during states of anxiety characteristic of mistrust in the partner. These consist of going from being calm to being worried, from being happy to being sad...; these transitions are usually very rapid.These transitions are usually abrupt, affecting the subject and his or her immediate environment.

4. Irritability

Irritability becomes a constant when distrust in the couple is present. People tend to be intolerant of certain comments or situations, especially if they have to do with their love life, or if they are seen as an attack (direct or indirect).especially if they have to do with their love life, or if they are seen as an attack (direct or indirect). The subject becomes angry when dealing with a reality that is uncomfortable for him/her.

5. Frequent arguments with the partner

Communicative styles become dysfunctional when the partners in the marriage or dating relationship do not trust each other. They are usually predisposed to have heated arguments that only gradually wear down the relationship until, in many cases, cause the breakup.

6. Tension in the muscles

Many of the psychological and emotional consequences of partner distrust are also reflected on a physical level. **Muscle tension is one of the most common somatic ways of noticing that something is wrong with our emotional state.

7. Tension headaches

A tension headache is a headache caused by a high and intense level of tension in certain Muscle groups, especially those found in the head and neck.

8. Tendency to isolation

When people have doubts about their romantic partner, they do not like that other people can remind them of this subject, and that is why they in some cases they decide to limit more their social encounters..

9. Substance abuse

Mistrust applied to love life is a complicated situation, which can lead the person to seek desperate solutions to feelings of uncertainty. One of the supposed alternatives may be the consumption of some substances that provide an apparent relief from this short-term burden, such as alcohol or other drugs. that provide an apparent short-term relief from this burden, such as alcohol or other drugs.

10. Propensity to infidelity

The saying that a nail pulls out another nail takes a special relevance in these situations, where the couple is immersed in doubts. One of the two parties may seek to feel a sense of security in another person, and this is conducive to infidelity.and this is conducive to infidelity.

11. Binge eating

Binge eating is a common reaction to the stress of not knowing what may be going on in the relationship, not daring to confront our partner about what his or her feelings are can lead to an irrational and constant appetite as a way of venting our doubts..

What to do?

Couples therapy is a form of psychological intervention that is increasingly in demand and popular, and is effective in addressing these types of problems.

In these sessions it is possible to overcome dysfunctional dynamics such as poor management of arguments, conflictive cohabitation, infidelity crises, and more. In this process, both members of the couple's relationship must be involved in the process and attend weekly sessions; the duration of the therapy is a few months. At present, a large number of psychologists are trained to offer this service.

Bibliographical references:

• Biscotti, O. (2006). Terapia de Pareja: una mirada sistémica (Couples therapy: a systemic view). 1st ed. 1st ed. Buenos Aires: Lumen.
• Fehr, B., Russell, J. (1991). The Concept of Love Viewed From a Prototype Perspective. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
• O'Donohue, W. and Ferguson, K.E. (2006). Evidence-Based Practice in Psychology and Behavior Analysis. The Behavior Analyst Today.
• Shackelford, T.K.; Voracek, M.; Schmitt, D.P.; Buss, D.M.; Weekes-Shackelford, V.A.; Michalski, R.L. (2004). Romantic jealousy in early adulthood and in later life. Human Nature. 15 (3): 283 - 300.