More recognition and less criticism
We tend to criticize too much and not to highlight the virtues of others. A cultural change is needed.
We know that science tells us that valuing the positive in others has the effect of improving mood and increasing motivation. However, it is easier for us to criticize than to acknowledge.. It is inherent to human beings; in fact, we can say that we are predisposed to focus our attention more on the negative than on the positive.
Our brain gives much more importance and value to the negative than to the positive. It is a good survival machine, and therefore it detects very well the bad that may happen to me in the future, easily remembering the negative that happened.
Studies indicate that to compensate for a negative criticism that we make to a person we would have to make five acknowledgements of something positive. The negative "weighs" in importance five times more than the positive for our mind.
The propensity for negative criticism.
In our vocabulary there are more words for the negative than for the positive. James R Averill, professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts, finds 558 words that describe emotions, of which 62% are negative and 38% are positive.
On the other hand, it takes us twenty times longer to memorize the positive than the negative.. We have the perception that it is smarter to point out the negative than the positive.
However, being recognized for what is good generates well-being, even more for the one who does it than for the one who receives it. Thus, in an experiment carried out by psychologists Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough, they demonstrated that people who were grateful were happier in the end.They were more optimistic about the future, in better physical health and even did more sports.
For this reason, Amstel proposed me to collaborate as a psychologist in a study on Recognition in Spain. The study was carried out by the social and market research company, MyWord. 1650 online interviews were conducted in January 2018 with Spanish population of legal age.
The data from the study
Among the conclusions we reached, the following stand out.
Only half (50.3%) of Spaniards believe they deserve the recognition
Our lack of the habit of recognition is so significant that it is even very difficult for us to recognize our own abilities, our efforts and what we are capable of doing.
84.5% believe that envy is a very human but all too Spanish passion.
Surveys have shown that we do not practice the habit of recognizing. However, 84.5% of those surveyed believe, as Menéndez Pidal said, that "Envy is a very human but all too Spanish passion".
40.9% think that envy is the capital sin that most characterizes us.
Envy is the second most mentioned reason, after lack of habit, to explain the lack of recognition: it is chosen by 67.9% of those interviewed.
The world of work is where we feel least recognized
In the world of work, the following results stand out.
83.3% of the population feels that their bosses do not value a job well done.
Eight out of ten think that Spaniards do not feel recognized at work. do not feel recognized at work. Women and people between 25 and 54 years of age are those who most identify with this lack of recognition.
More than 80% believe that jobs emphasize mistakes more than successes.
Among women this way of feeling is even more significant.
In meetings it is normal to "criticize the boss" (61.5% do so) and to criticize a colleague (52.6%).
Statistically, it is a habit more frequent in women.
60.5% believe that it costs us a lot or quite a lot to congratulate a boss or colleague.
Men and older people are more likely to agree with this opinion.
In the family sphere...
In this sphere of our lives it is also not very common to congratulate.
67.7% believe that it is difficult for us to be grateful to our mothers.
Young people are the ones who share this opinion the most.
61.2% believe that partners do not recognize how important they are to each other.
Men and older people feel this way to a greater extent.
63.6% believe that grandparents are not recognized enough.
Grandparents are not valued and recognized the time devoted by grandparents to their grandchildren.
In social networks, complaints predominate over recognition.
Other striking data extracted from the analysis of more than 100,000 comments on social networks are the following.
In only 22% of the cases we express recognition for an action well done or a deserved quality.
In the remaining 78% of cases, we included totally or partially some data or word of lack of recognition.
However, recognition generates well-being and motivates us to do things better. 96.9% feel encouraged to do things better when someone recognizes their effort,
91.5% feel significantly more cheerful when they receive a Whatsapp from a loved one who says how important they are to them
This feeling of joy increases among women and young people aged 18-24..
91.9% make their day happier when they receive a call from a friend thanking them for a favor
Women and people between 35 and 54 years old are even happier.
89.6% are happy when their boss congratulates them on a job well done.
Women and younger people are the ones who share this sentiment the most.
87.2% feel more recognized when they receive an email from a colleague saying that he/she appreciates them for being generous.
Women are the most appreciative.
82.5% are happiest when their partner highlights their virtues in front of friends or family members
Women and people aged 25 to 64 appreciate it even more.
(Updated at Apr 14 / 2024)