My child hits other children: what to do to solve it?

If a child often attacks others, immediate action must be taken to put an end to this dynamic.

If bullying and aggression among minors in general is a social problem, it is partly because many parents do not deal with this kind of situation when their children hit other children. This asymmetry means that the victims receive all the pressure, while in the aggressors' family environment, permissiveness reigns.

Fortunately, there are adults who take the first step to solve this kind of situation, and ask themselves "What to do if my child hits other children at school or outside of school?”.

In this article we will review several tips and guidelines to follow to stop this behavior, acting on the child's education. Thus, regardless of whether a child engages in bullying dynamics or hits his or her sibling, we will avoid further damage.

What to do if a child habitually hits other children.

Any change requires time and effort, and that means that although it would be desirable that our son or daughter would stop trying to attack others overnight, it is not usually the case. Our efforts should be focused on making the change happen as quickly as possible and causing as little disruption as possible. to cause as little discomfort to others as possible during this during this process.

Thus, educational actions should be varied and should be applied in many areas of the troubled child's life.

1. Take him/her to a psychologist

Many behavioral problems of children can be solved without the intervention of psychologists, but the fact of habitually hitting other children is serious enough to act consistently with our concerns and to resort to professionals who offer personalized psychological care..

Thus, the steps we are going to see below should be initiatives that are complemented by psychological intervention and, in case of doubt, it is important to obey the indications of that person, since his knowledge of the specific case allows him to offer solutions that are adapted to what is happening.

2. Make him/her feel supported in the process of change.

It is clear that mistreating other people is morally wrong, but that does not mean that our behavior towards them is wrong. that does not mean that our behavior towards our son or daughter should be guided by revenge or by the desire to cause him or her to change. or by the desire to cause physical or psychological harm. Everything we do in relation to the child's aggressiveness should be aimed at stopping these tendencies, and nothing else.

Therefore, he should feel support from his parents, and notice that he has a way to redeem himself by making an effort to change his habits and ways of managing his impulses. He needs to feel responsible for the Pain he causes others when he hits, but that does not mean that the weight of our intervention in his education should focus on guilt. It should focus on the positive and constructive mission to mature as a person, to be better.

3. Shows exemplary behavior

Not all children who show a tendency towards aggressiveness towards their peers do so because they have taken an example from their parents. But, in any case, it is important to be especially careful in the other of to manage our own frustrations well when assimilating situations that make us angry.

It is better not only not to do it in front of that child who hits other children, but in all our behavior in general, so that it is a more natural and spontaneous tendency.

Moreover, in this way we will prevent our son or daughter from justifying his or her attacks and aggressions by thinking that our anger is a reflection of what he or she does with others, that at the end of the day everyone engages in actions that create gratuitous and unjustified confrontations.

4. Take an interest in their feelings

It is important to have regular communication with our children, especially if they have been hitting others, to give them the opportunity to express their discomfort. Many times this aggressiveness is the product of frustrations that have nothing to do with the victim and, even, these can be born in the home itself.. In addition, this habit of asking how they feel makes them feel supported and they see aggressiveness and hostility as an anomaly.

5. Make sure that the objectives of the therapy are met.

The work that is done in the psychologist's office must have consequences in the day to day of the child, not only lasts the time during which the session takes place. Keep up to date with the therapeutic objectives to be followed and monitor their fulfillment or non-fulfillment..

6. Act as soon as aggressive behaviors are initiated

Whenever the signs of attacking behaviors begin to appear, whether physical or verbal, intervene by reminding him/her of his/her commitment to change or by physically avoiding him/her if there is no other solution. This "relapse" should have consequences, although as we have not seen, not oriented to suffering, but to the fact of reinforcing their commitment to a peaceful and non-violent attitude.