My ex-partner is with someone else: how can I get over it?

When we go through this type of sentimental situation, there are several keys to recover.

One of the most complicated situations we can experience is falling out of love. While falling in love can make us live in a cloud, leaving the person we love so much can cause great sadness and affect our lives in a negative way.

It is possible that falling out of love is one of those life experiences that lead us straight to an existential crisis: our self-esteem is seriously damaged and we do not know very well where we should be heading in life.. Of course, heartbreak can be overcome, although sometimes we need time.

• Recommended article: "The 14 types of couples: how is your sentimental relationship?"

When they break our Heart and leave us for someone else.

But if leaving someone is complicated and painful, it is even worse when that person we have loved starts a relationship with someone else right after leaving us, or worse, they leave us for someone else.

We may feel like real failures, we may blame ourselves for not knowing how to maintain a relationship, we may feel inferior believing that their new partner is better for us and, even worse, we may believe that we are not worthy people because the other person has rebuilt their life and we are not capable of doing so.

Well, even in these moments of extreme emotional pain, it is possible to emerge stronger and learn from them, it is possible to emerge stronger and learn from this traumatic experience.. Below you can find a series of tips to achieve this.

1. Accept it

One of the defects that we people have is that we tend to blame ourselves very easily and do not value our achievements enough. and do not value our achievements enough. And this situation, in which it seems that we are the ones to blame for this story, can crush us in such a way that it becomes difficult not to spend a single night without crying and without sleeping.

To say that losing the person you love and seeing how he or she is rebuilding his or her life with someone else and that it is easy to accept it overnight is a mistake, because the impact of the first piece of news we get leaves us seriously shaken.

However, it is also true that human beings have an amazing ability to adapt, and it is these moments that make us grow as people. Therefore, the sooner we accept what has happened, knowing that it is a slow process that requires willpower, the sooner we will get back on our feet and be able to fully enjoy life again.

• If in addition to losing your partner you have suffered an infidelity, you can read our article "Overcoming an infidelity: the 5 keys to achieve it".

2. Express what you feel

This complicated situation, in addition to being painful, can be embarrassing.. It is normal that we do not want to talk to anyone and that we decide to keep all that pain inside so as not to appear weak. But many times, expressing what we feel with people we trust can be an emotional catharsis that will help us feel better. However, it is not good to recreate this bad experience over and over again, so it is necessary to move forward.

3. Do not take it as a battle

It is hard to see that the other person has managed to rebuild his life and has done it with someone else, but this is not a battle.. Everyone needs time to get over heartbreak, and even if your partner is with someone else, it does not mean that he or she is over it. There are people who do not know how to be alone because of their low self-esteem and emotional weakness. So instead of focusing on your ex, turn your attention to you and your dreams and needs.

4. A new opportunity for you

A breakup always hurts, especially when you love the person you've been with very much, but as the saying goes, you learn from pain. Now you no longer share your time with anyone, so you have all the time in the world to get to know yourself and strive for your personal development. Fall in love with yourself and success is assured..

5. The blame is not yours

It is easy to blame yourself when the relationship has not ended well because no one likes to be the one to blame, and at the moment of leaving the relationship, it is not your fault.When it is time to leave the relationship, both partners pull out all the dirty laundry at once, as anger and resentment tend to appear. It is possible that part of the blame for the breakup is yours, but not all of it. So don't feel guilty and instead of using the time to blame yourself, use it to change what you need to change in your life so you can grow.

6. Don't compare yourself

And if it's not good to blame yourself, neither is it good to compare yourself with your partner or with his or her new boyfriend or girlfriend.. As I said, maybe your ex is with someone else because he/she doesn't know how to be alone. It is also not good to compare yourself with the other person because you have talents, skills and a different way of being, and that does not mean you are worse. Accept yourself as you are, seek to grow every day, and someone else will come along who you will fit in with.

7. Avoid places where you can cross yourself.

It is necessary, when you end a relationship, to avoid those places where you can cross paths with your partner.It is necessary, when you end a relationship, to avoid those places where you can cross paths with your partner, since falling out of love is not linear, that is to say, there are ups and downs. If you spend a week feeling better, seeing your ex again with someone else can make you feel the same or worse than you did a month ago. So go on with your life and don't lose focus.

8. Avoid looking for him/her

And avoiding those places where you can cross paths with your partner also includes looking for him or her, for example, through social networks. In falling out of love it is all or nothing, since when we fall in love our brain undergoes a cascade of neurochemicals similar to what happens in the brain of a drug addict. In falling out of love, we can become obsessed and depressed very easily, because serotonin levels drop.

9. Focus on you

In addition, the all or nothing means that we can rebuild our lives and focus on us without having to be thinking about the other person continuously. At first it may be difficult, but over time our brain regains stability and, therefore, it is easier to focus on our own development, it is easier to focus on our personal development, which is key to overcoming any breakup..

10. Seek psychological support if necessary

Sometimes, but, suffering from heartbreak and seeing that our partner is with someone else can affect different areas of our life for a long period of time. and for a very long period of time. In these cases, it is necessary to go to psychological therapy to learn new relationship skills, change some negative beliefs that may be affecting our life and increase our self-esteem. The psychologist can help you to overcome this difficult stage of your life.