Non-violent communication: 10 defining characteristics

The characteristics of communication based on mutual understanding.

Communication is a complex process; even for people who speak the same language it can be difficult to understand each other.

This is because when we express our ideas, thoughts or emotions orally or in writing, we are aware of what we want to express, not what others may understand.

In this article we will talk about non-violent communication, we will give some techniques to improve our communication skills.In this article we will give some techniques to improve our communication and to be more assertive when we express our thoughts.

How is nonviolent communication?

Nonviolent communication corresponds mainly to the degree of empathy that is established between people.. The higher the empathic level of the subject, the lower the violence in his or her communication style.

The opposite happens when it comes to unempathic subjects, who are unable to put themselves in the other person's place and do not perceive the discomfort that their words can cause in other people.

Here are some techniques to promote an assertive communication style in ourselves and in others.

1. Acknowledge our emotions

The more aware we are of how we are feeling at any given moment the better we will be able to avoid violent communication..

Sometimes, when we are upset, we tend to say things that we later regret. So, if we are able to recognize our annoyance, we will also be able to avoid giving opinions or words that are violent and have the capacity to harm others.

What is recommended is to be silent and go to a place where we can think clearly, and then express our opinions calmly and assertively.and then express our opinions in a calm and assertive manner.

2. Put ourselves in the place of others

When we are about to express ourselves we should always take into account the particular situation in which other people find themselves in relation to one's point of view. in relation to one's own point of view.

In other words, we should avoid touching on subjects that are sensitive for others in a light-hearted manner; we must remember that for the other person it is a delicate matter, which moves him/her emotionally. It is also important to be assertive when communicating something that may cause discomfort to the other person, without assuming that he/she will take it badly, so as not to generate the phenomenon known as self-fulfilling prophecy.

3. Practicing assertive communication

We have already mentioned this aspect, now let's see what it is all about. Assertive communication consists of expressing our ideas and emotions in a clear wayWe can also use a clear message, so that the interlocutor does not have to make too much effort to understand what we are trying to tell him/her, because our message is clear.

This avoids misunderstandings resulting from a misinterpretation by the other person.

4. Implement active listening

In the communication process, it is not only important to express oneself, but also to interpret the message that the other person is sending.It is also important to interpret the message coming from the other person.

In the case of verbal communication we must always listen carefully to what our sender is telling us. By doing this we will be able to better understand the message they are trying to give us, and the answer we will give will then be more accurate in terms of the subject matter.

5. Knowing how to reconsider our opinions

There is nothing wrong with reconsidering an opinion that at first we thought was right and after listening to the other person's argument we realize that we were wrong.

Learning to agree with others leads us to a better collective understanding, and makes us more empathetic people..

No one is the owner of absolute reason, that is why we must be careful not to fall into radicalism, otherwise we become prone to be violent people in all aspects.

6. To be informed

This point refers to the fact that when we do not have enough information about a certain subject, we could end up issuing opinions that lack reason. It is better to make sure that we know the subject in depth before giving a sensitive opinion. before giving a sensitive opinion.

Disinformation only contributes to generate rumors and wrong opinion matrixes that can do a lot of harm both individually and collectively.

7. Speech must match actions

As we saw earlier, communication is a complex process, which is not only verbal or written. An important part of communication involves our behavior and our non-verbal communication.

It is important to make sure that our words are in line with what we do.. It is not healthy for us to express some ideas and then do the opposite in practice, not to mention that this can generate personal conflicts with others.

8. Avoid falling into provocations

Many times it may happen that although we practice assertive and non-violent communication, situations arise where other people want to provoke us, trying to make us lose control of ourselves and act in the same way they do.

When this happens, the best thing to do is to avoid getting into a long discussion with those people.. It is important to remember that we are not obliged to always respond to everyone, sometimes it is better to remain silent knowing that in this way we avoid a major conflict.

9. Surround ourselves with people who practice a language of peace.

In the same way that each of us influences the collective, the collective also influences us, the collective also influences us. That is why it is important to surround ourselves with people who are in tune with us, avoiding conflictive people benefits us greatly, and in many aspects.

10. Do not blackmail

True non-violent communication is unconditional, it is not based on the idea that the interaction will flow in a harmonious and respectful way as long as the other person does what you want. This is the only way to create a communication context in which there are power asymmetries.