Open relationships: 7 tips and mistakes to avoid
This way of living love can lead to mistakes, since it is easy to have wrong expectations.
It is well known that monogamy is a cultural phenomenon that varies depending both on the society in which one lives and the way each person perceives relationships. Although for many centuries the inhabitants of Western countries have seen monogamy as the only possible way of conceiving love, there are those who see beyond it.
Although in reality they have always existed, in recent years, open relationships have gained momentum, becoming naturalizedThey have become naturalized and seen as a type of relationship that is just as healthy and satisfying as the rest. However, the fact that they are a rarity in our cultural environments makes many myths circulate about these relationships and their potential, a fact that can lead to error and have wrong expectations about what they are. Let's see how to avoid falling into this kind of mistakes.
What are open relationships?
There are a great number of types of couple relationships and not all of them have to be based on monogamy. Outside this category are the so-called open relationships.
This type of relationship is characterized by the fact that the members of the relationship do not consider monogamy necessary to maintain a healthy and stable couple relationship, so through a common agreement, the possibility of maintaining relationships with third parties is established.
This type of relationship can range from sporadic sexual relations with other people to more or less stable sentimental ties. Within this category may include temporary monogamy, polygamy or relational anarchy..
Taking the initiative to start an open relationship, or converting a traditional relationship into one of the above implies that the components of this make a change of mentality and change their perspective on how to live both emotional and sexual relationships.
Since, no matter how convinced we are, this change is not always easy, here are a series of tips and suggestions for living an open relationship in a healthy and positive way.
Tips for enjoying an open relationship
Through these 7 tips, couples who are thinking of starting an open relationship will be able to know what factors should be taken into account and what steps to follow when starting this type of intimate relationship, as well as the mistakes to avoid if they want it to work.
1. Start from a healthy relationship
In order to begin with this new stage or format of the relationship it is indispensable that the couple maintains a strong bondThe relationship must work well and there must be trust in each other and security on the part of both partners.
Although it does not always have to be this way, a well-functioning couple will be more likely to succeed in opening their relationship than one in which there is not a certain degree of well-being and trust.
On the other hand, it is never a good idea to open a relationship with the intention of saving it from a crisis or separation, since frustrations and distrust will only increase.
2. Do not do it out of obligation
If one of the two components of the couple proposes to start an open relationship the other one does not have to accept for simple commitment or for fear that the relationship will end if it is not accepted.
The purpose of starting this type of relationship is to increase the well-being of the couple and to make both of them happier, so if you are not convinced or it is done out of obligation, it is better to discuss it with your partner.
The first requirement for this type of relationship to go well is that both sincerely want it and are convinced that they want to do it. Otherwise it will not only affect the well-being of the couple, but it will most likely end up breaking up.
3. Establish rules and limits
As in any other type of relationship, it is necessary for the couple to reach a consensus on what is allowed and what is not. consensus on what is allowed and what is not allowed.. Establishing rules and limits will avoid misunderstandings and confusion, as well as provide security and trust.
It is highly recommended to discuss calmly about these rules, as well as to express each other's needs. A good way is that this is reflected somewhere, in order to avoid unnecessary discussions if the case arises.
It is clear that, just as it is necessary to establish a series of rules, it is essential that these rules are followed, since the opposite means to be deceiving the partner in any way. Of course, these rules can have a certain flexibility and are susceptible to being modified to better adjust them to the needs of the relationship.
4. Be communicative
As mentioned above, communication is essential in maintaining this and any other relationship.
Manifesting and expressing needs, thoughts, ideas and emotions in a sincere manner is essential to in a sincere manner is essential to ensure the future of the relationship. In the same way it is essential to actively listen to each other when trying to communicate.
Disguising, pretending or deceiving the other, even if we sincerely believe that we are doing it for the good of the relationship, is never a good idea. It is very likely that sooner or later everything will come to light, increasing the distrust within the relationship.
5. Forget about jealousy
If jealousy is no longer advisable in conventional relationships, it makes no sense in open relationships.
Considering that the basic idea of open relationships is that one or both partners are allowed to maintain intimate relationships, both sexual and affectionate, with another person, jealousy has no place, jealousy has no place.
If both are sincere and comply with the pre-established rules, there is no need for jealousy or distrust.
On the other hand, if what is feared is that these relationships outside the couple end up originating strong feelings of love, it is necessary to know that those open couples that are well created and established are more likely to succeed than traditional couples.
6. Be honest with other people
Equally important as the sincerity in the couple is the sincerity with other people. sincerity with those other people with whom with whom intimate relations are maintained outside the couple. Otherwise it is unfair for the third person not to know what situation he/she is in.
It is important for the third person to know the existence of a "main" relationship, as well as the agreed rules, in order to decide whether he/she wants to continue with that person or not. Otherwise, it may be injured and, in addition, conflicts may arise with all the components of the relationship.
7. Make time for your partner
Last but not least spending time with other people should not mean neglecting the relationship. of the couple's relationship. In order to maintain this type of relationship over time, it is necessary to protect and care for the relationship on a daily basis.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)