Passive communication: what it is and how to recognize it in 4 features

This communicative style causes our self-esteem to wear down and we always give in to others.

Communication can be established in many different ways. At the end of the day, people's needs, preferences and overall personality patterns greatly influence the way we externalize ideas, beliefs and feelings. Passive communication is a case in point.

In this article we will see which are the characteristics of this type of communication, in what way it is expressed, which are its disadvantages and in what way it is possible to improve in this aspect.

What is passive communication?

A summary and simple definition of passive communication is the following: a communicative pattern characterized by the avoidance of entering into direct confrontation with others through what is expressed.

Thus, it is part of a dynamic of relationships with others in which there is hardly any assertiveness. in which there is hardly any assertiveness and the feeling of vulnerability prevails..

Its basic characteristics

Below we review the fundamental characteristics of passive communication.

1. Non-verbal language keeping a low profile

What is said is not only meaningful in terms of the phrases and words used, but also in terms of how it is said. And, more specifically, the non-verbal language that accompanies the verbally transmitted message..

In the case of passive communication, a style of non-verbal communication that expresses submission prevails: avoidance of the other person's gaze or lowered gaze, tone of voice somewhat lower than the other person's, defensive posture, etc.

2. Frequent use of an impersonal perspective

There are certain opinions and points of view that people who adopt passive communication do express, but if they believe that they are slightly problematic because they imply things that are annoying for the listener, they often use an impersonal tone instead of an impersonal one. an impersonal tone rather than a first-person tone..

For example, to ask for a malfunction in the office to be repaired, they will not talk about the harm done to themselves by the fact that the malfunction exists, but the presentation of the problem will be more along the lines of "it would be good if the malfunction were repaired". It is a use of the passive that corresponds to the concept of passive communication.

3. Avoidance of direct confrontation and use of euphemisms.

Another typical characteristic of passive communication is that it does not directly show that there is a clash of ideas or interests. Instead, in the event that there is indeed a mismatch of opinions or needs, it is expressed in an allegedly neutral manner, it is expressed in a purportedly neutral manneras if all parties involved in the conversation are actually seeking a win-win solution, even when that is not really the case.

For example, if two people are applying for the same position, it can be said that they are both "looking for their place in the company".

4. Avoidance of expressing feelings

People who conform to the typical pattern of passive communication tend not to talk about their feelings. tend not to talk about their feelings as if they were part of the argument to support their assertions, even when they are relevant to the subject matter. In these cases, once again, an impersonal type of manner of speaking is used.

The disadvantages of this pattern of behavior

As we have seen, in passive communication there is a clear lack of assertiveness. As a consequence of this, there can be several main consequences.

Either misunderstandings arise, as there is a part of the information that is not being disclosed even though it is important, or the person who maintains passive communication sees his or her needs not being met and his or her interests not being taken into account.. This second case also has negative repercussions derived from this situation.

In particular, not expressing one's needs and feelings leads to psychological wear and tear (and often also physical wear and tear, if it leads to having to work harder to achieve full or partial satisfaction of a need). As time goes by, passive communication leads to the accumulation of frustrations, frustrations, frustrations, frustrations and frustrations. leads to an accumulation of frustrations, reasons for resentment and general discomfort..

Eventually, all this may trigger psychological crises, or even outbursts of anger that conflict with the tendency to keep a low profile that characterizes passive communication. When this happens, it is difficult to maintain correct emotional regulation, and it is possible not only to compromise one's own well-being, but also to damage personal relationships or blame people who are not responsible for what has happened.

In general, passive communication feeds the maintenance of a low self-esteemIt helps to perpetuate a dynamic of submission to others.

What to do to improve the communicative style?

Although it may seem that passive communication serves to avoid conflicts, in reality this is not so, because without assertiveness there is always a party that is harmed, while there is another that gets used to make their interests prevail. That is why it is worthwhile to get out of the passive communication style. To achieve this, it is a good idea to follow these tips.

• Avoid unnecessary apologies.
• Compare the importance of one's own needs and those of others.
• Look for contexts in which talking about one's feelings is objectively useful.
• Find ways to start using assertiveness in relationships..