Self-discovery: what it really is, and 4 myths about it

Knowing oneself does not consist of isolating oneself and concentrating on one's thoughts.

The ideas that Sigmund Freud proposed at the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th century are no longer valid when trying to explain human behavior, but there is some truth in them: in every person, there is a gap between what one wants to do and what one says one wants to do. Most of our mental life is secret, and the motives that move us to perform all kinds of actions are to some extent hidden.

It is precisely for this reason that what we usually call what we usually call self-discovery.. In this article we will see what exactly it is and in what way it has an impact in our day to day.

What is self-discovery?

Self-discovery is a process by which we we generate a concept of ourselves that is realistic and close to realityThis is a complex process, because to engage in it, we have to give up those immediate and intuitive impressions that come to our mind just because of our optimism (idealizing our self-concept) or our pessimism (creating an overly negative image of ourselves because of sadness or a low mood). Thus, it is a complex process, since in order to engage in it we have to give up those immediate and intuitive impressions that come to our mind just at the moment when something happens that is capable of appealing to our sense of identity.

Keys to a realistic self-concept

When it comes to knowing oneself, we must avoid easy and intuitive explanations about who we are. As a small guide, in the following lines you can find key ideas that you should take into account before launching into self-discovery.

1. The truth is hidden in self-justifications

If there is one thing we humans are adept at, it is creating narratives about who we are and what we do. These narratives can help us create a self-concept that is coherent, consistent and easy to memorize, but at the cost of sacrificing some of the veracity of that self-concept.consistent and easy to memorize, but at the cost of sacrificing some of the veracity of that self-concept.

Therefore, in order to make a strong commitment to self-discovery, it is worthwhile to focus our attention on thinking about those aspects of ourselves that we like the least and to look for explanations as to what it is that really moves us to act that way in these types of situations. At the end of the day, in these cases what we have most at hand are the self-justifications and half-truths we tell ourselves. we tell ourselves.

2. Self-discovery is not based on introspection.

Many people believe that to discover oneself is basically to resort to introspection to find mental contents that had remained hidden until that moment. In other words, to achieve this, one must do something similar to staying in a quiet and isolated place, closing one's eyes and concentrating on analyzing one's own flow of thoughts.

However, this view of the mind is an illusion, since it is influenced by a philosophical position known as dualism. According to dualism as applied to psychology, the mind and the body are two different things, and so to develop self-discovery one must try to "override" the body and focus only on the mental, which is supposed to have different layers of depth, given that although it is not physical, it emulates what is physical and, even if metaphorically, has volume.

Thus, to carry out self-discovery initiatives is not concentrating on oneself and forgetting about what's around you.. In any case, we must stop to analyze how we interact with our environment on a daily basis. We are what we do, not what we think.

3. The opinion of others also counts

It is not true that each of us has clearly privileged access to information about who we are.

In certain aspects of our lives it is clear that we know more than others, especially in relation to those facets of our day-to-day lives that we prefer to keep hidden, but when it comes to the overall conception of who we are, friends, family and in general the people in our closest social circles know a lot about our identity and behavioral style..

In fact, unlike what happens with us, since they do not need to make an effort to keep the more negative aspects of who we are far from their consciousness, they are often able to weigh in a more balanced way the strengths and imperfections that define us. Of course, it is important not to allow ourselves to be labeled and to be clear that time and experience can change us.

4. New situations tell us more about who we are.

When embarking on the path of self-discovery, it is important to completely reject essentialism, it is important to completely reject essentialism.What is essentialism? Simply put, it is a philosophical stance known for nurturing the idea that things and people have a clear and distinct identity that remains constant and stands the test of time.

When someone says, for example, that an old acquaintance was born in the neighborhood and will remain in the neighborhood regardless of what happens to him or her (for example, winning the lottery), he or she is holding an essentialist perspective, albeit unknowingly.

Essentialism is an obstacle when it comes to self-discovery, because it is not true that we are born as one thing and die as exactly the same thing..

If our explanations of who we are do not change no matter how much we continue to live new experiences that provide us with new information about our identity, something is wrong. We may still be clinging to those myths about ourselves through which we automatically fabricate a self-concept, without thinking about it.