Swingers: what are they and what is their way of living sexuality based on?

This way of living love relationships is linked to the practice of exchanging partners.

Sexuality is an aspect of our lives that throughout history has been treated differently depending on the time and the prevailing currents of thought. Many sexual practices have been forbidden and censored, and even female desire and pleasure have been undervalued and forgotten for centuries. The same has happened to all sexual orientations other than heterosexuality, which have even been persecuted.

Fortunately, nowadays we live in a stage in which at least in a part of the world there is a high level of sexual freedom, being born and reproducing different ways of enjoying our sensuality and sexuality. One of these practices is still somewhat controversial for part of the population, as it differs from the concept of fidelity associated with the world of the couple. We are talking about swinging and those who practice it, the swingers..

What are swingers?

Swingers are those people who maintain a stable couple relationship that maintain consensual sexual relations on the part of both members of the couple with other couples.

Thus, each member of a couple has sex with one of the other partners. has sex with one of the members of another couple while the other two do the same.. These sexual acts are always performed in the presence and with the participation at the same time and place of all the members of each couple, being involved at all times in a more active or more passive way in the sexual encounter.

It is remarkable that these are stable couples who decide to have sex with other people in an agreed and joint way, there is no deception and it must be something desired by both parties. Likewise, the partner with whom the also called partner swapping is carried out is jointly decided and agreed uponThe choice of one is not imposed on the other. There is loving exclusivity, but not sexual exclusivity.

Couple exchanges can be carried out in clubs created for this purpose, in private events, by agreement between individuals or even through applications designed for this purpose. It is important to bear in mind that couple exchanges do not necessarily require penetration. do not necessarily require vaginal or anal penetration vaginal or anal penetration, and may be limited to looks or touching (the so-called soft swap) or oral sex. In addition, there can also be full sexual relations (full swap).

The range and type of acts to be permitted or accepted must be agreed upon in advance. must be previously agreed upon. In some cases one of the members of each couple copulates while the other two watch. The couples who carry it out are usually heterosexuals, although it is not uncommon for same-sex contact to occur even if they are not homosexuals.

This is not a particularly frequent practice, and it is something that today is not totally well regarded by society. Regardless of this, it is important to keep in mind that these practices are always carried out with respect, being swingers people who have decided to enjoy their sexuality in this way in a free way and respecting the values and norms that they decide to follow. respecting the values and norms that they decide with their partners..

The origins of swinging

Historically, there are certain doubts about the origin of the practice of swinging. It seems that one of the most widely accepted hypotheses is that its origin dates back to a period between the 1940s and the 1960s in the United States. in the United States.

The origins would go back to groups of military men stationed in the Philippines, who in some clubs performed what in some clubs they would perform what at that time was called "wife swapping": they would get together and after eachThey would get together and after each of them put the keys to their rooms in a hat, they would take from that hat other keys corresponding to another room, exchanging with the partner of the original owner of the keys. This type of practice became popular in the hippie era, although it continued to be little accepted by the majority of the population.

Over time, this practice, which was initially associated with a submissive role for women and in many cases also with an express submission, has been modified until it has become a practice in which couples decide in an agreed and mutually consensual way to have sex with other people at the same time and in the same place.

Basic rules

The practice of swinging is a complex and socially criticized phenomenonSwinging is a complex and socially criticized phenomenon, which makes swinging couples tend to hide their practices. It is also necessary to take into account the need to establish a series of rules in these practices in order to avoid conflicts within the couple. Although each couple will establish their own rules, for the most part they follow a series of basic principles.

1. Agreed situation and no pressure on either party.

The main and most important of the premises that every couple exchange must follow is the fact that both members of the couple must be interested and agree to perform this type of practices. That is to say, it is essential that neither of the parties accept something that they do not really want to do just to please their partner or for fear of breaking it.

This also applies to the acceptance or rejection by the person or partner with whom the couple wishes to have a sexual relationship.

2. Safety first and foremost

Another basic element is the use of prophylaxis: the sexual practice with different partners can entail a high risk of sexual infections or pregnancies if it is not carried out or pregnancy if it is not carried out with protection. The use of condoms and other protection mechanisms can reduce this risk.

3. No emotional involvement

One of the most basic premises that makes the swinger movement can not have negative repercussions on the couple is the fact of keeping the act of exchange in something purely sexual. We are talking about the fact that those who carry it out must be consolidated and stable couples, who must be monogamous at a relational or romantic level. This aspect is especially relevant in order not to damage the couple.

Words of affection, tenderness, romantic gifts are out of place. Many couples even forbid kissing forbid kissing, given the romantic connotation that this act usually romantic connotation that this act tends to have for most people.

4. It should not be the only sexual practice

Swinging can be a stimulating practice for the people who practice it, but it is highly recommended that it is not the only one that is carried out. Having sex with a partner in other contexts and without exchanges is also necessary and healthy for the maintenance of the couple.

Possible benefits and risks

If carried out under a series of basic rules and in a totally accepted and voluntary way by both parties, the interviews carried out seem to indicate that swinging does not have to have negative effects on the functioning of the couple and in some cases it can even revitalize the existing eroticism and attraction between its components by seeing it enjoyed in other ways. Also, the idea of sharing this type of activity as a secret between both partners may be desirable.

The practice of swinging also has a number of risks, especially if the basic premises described above are not met or if the rules agreed between the members of the couple are not complied with.

Among these risks is the risk of breakup of the couple one of its components may come to consider that the other people with whom he or she has a relationship gives his or her partner something that he or she is not capable of giving them. There is also the risk of emotional involvement if the contact is prolonged and recurrent. People who are insecure, jealous, or have underlying relationship problems should not resort to these practices as they can worsen their situation.

Also, another aspect that usually causes more problems is the fact that only one of the components of the couple really wants to have the partner exchange, being the other reluctant to accept to carry it out. In these cases the part that does not really want to do it does not usually participate actively, and may be suffering as a result.. Likewise, the situation may worsen if the party who wanted it does not want it to be an isolated experience but something habitual. That is why it is very important that there is good communication between the couple and that there is the aforementioned agreement between both parties.

In addition to this, obviously and as in any sexual practice with multiple partners, it is necessary to use prophylaxis such as condoms and other types of barrier mechanisms, since the practice of non-monogamous sexual relations implies a risk of sexually transmitted infections and/or pregnancy.

Confusion with other terms

It should be noted that although the basic principle is easy to understand, swinging (which is what the practice itself is called) is often confused with other types of activities. is often confused with other types of sexual activities..

First of all, it is not an act of infidelity but something previously agreed upon and accepted by both partners. It is not polyamory either, the encounter being merely sexual and there being no romantic link between the two partners. Finally, neither are we talking about threesomes or orgies, although in some of the parties and encounters of this type, such encounters can sometimes take place.

Bibliographical references:

• Bergstrand, C. & Blevins J. (2003).Today's alternative marriage styles: the case of swingers. Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality.
• Hurtado, C.A. & Serna, P.A.(2011). The swinger lifestyle and the notion of fidelity: a subjective struggle between freedom and sexual exclusivity. Texts & Senses, 4.
• OByrne, P. & Watts, J.A.. (2011). Exploring sexual networks: a pilot study of swingers sexual behaviour and health-care-seeking practices. The Canadian Journal of Nursing Researching, 43 (1): 80-97.
• Orejuela, J.J.; Piedrahita, J.J. and Renza, F. (2012). The swinger practice/lifestyle: a perverse social-sexual practice? Sexuality, Health and Society. Latin American Journal, 10: 37-69. Rio de Janeiro, Brazil.