The 3 differences between wanting and desiring

Summary of the differences between wanting and desiring, distinct psychological and emotional phenomena.

The difference between wanting and desiring is something that is often overlooked when talking about love relationships and sources of motivation. when talking about love relationships and sources of motivation.

Distinguishing between these two psychology-related concepts can help us organize our lives in a way that makes sense. Not being able to understand the nuances and differences between emotions can lead us to make totally avoidable mistakes.

The differences between wanting and desiring

No, wanting and desiring are not the same, although many people believe that they have the same meaning. Let's see in what way we can distinguish them in the day to day life in a way that is easy to understand.

1. Desire arises from loss

When we desire something, we do it from a tension or discomfort that arises from the fact that there is something missing in our lives (or at least that we perceive as absent even though it should be part of our daily life).

An easy way to understand this difference between wanting and desiring can be compared to bereavement, in which we feel sadness and anxiety at the loss of something meaningful to us. of something that was meaningful to us.

Of course, grief is something very intense that we unequivocally associate with discomfort, unlike desire; but in both psychological phenomena there is the notion that something should be there and yet it is not.

On the other hand, when we want something, this characteristic is not present; it is very common to want something that we had never imagined. want something that we had never imagined that we would ever be interested in..

2. Wanting responds to a simple strategy, desiring to a complex one.

When we desire something, we tend to elaborate relatively structured and complex strategies to reach that goal, given that we understand that to achieve it we need to invest in it a significant amount of time, effort and resources.

On the other hand, when we want something, we usually think of a simple way to get it, for example, it is typical to consider investing money in acquiring a material good that is in itself what we are interested in, without the need to attribute to it any other property beyond those it objectively possesses.

3. Desire is autobiographical

Since buying and selling is the classic process by which we obtain goods and services that are concrete and relatively easy to describe and understand, many times when we want something, we automatically think of it as something that is autobiographical, often when we want something we automatically think of the way to get it through a single step: the economic transaction in the market.the economic transaction in the market.

In turn, the vast majority of products on the market are mass-produced to meet an objective need that is shared by many people.

If what we wanted were really an object of desire, it would be much more difficult to find it as we need it, it would be much more difficult to find it in the way we need it.If what we wanted were really an object of desire, it would be much more difficult to find it as we need it, since we must fill a void whose raison d'être is what we have gone through in our lives.

Desire is something much more unique, belonging to each individual, while wanting is not so much, and that is why a simple advertisement can arouse the same interest in thousands of people coming from very different socioeconomic contexts.

Implications for love life

As we have seen, desire leads us to look for something that fits with the autobiographical story we have created through the process by which we interpret everything that has happened to us throughout our lives, while the action of wanting to responds to a much more spontaneous feeling that leads us to direct our attention to simple needs that are easy for anyone else to understand.

Therefore, in love, the ideal is to find a balance between wanting and desiring. If we only desire, we run the risk of imposing on the other person a narrative about who they are, one that fits only our vision of them, whereas if we only want the relationship that they can give us, the bond will be superficial and easily disintegrated, the bond will be superficial and easy to destabilize..

Its implications in marketing

In the world of marketing and advertising, it is also important to know the differences between wanting and desiring, since in the vast majority of cases, an attempt is made to satisfy a need through wanting. In the vast majority of cases, an attempt is made to satisfy a need by means of wanting to satisfy it..

However, in certain cases, you can try to appeal to desire by suggesting abstract qualities that fill a common gap in a certain segment of the audience, of potential buyers. Of course, it will never exactly match the void of a particular person, but it will make it easier for the imagination of the people for whom these campaigns are designed to do the rest.

Bibliographical references:

• Cacioppo, J.T & Gardner, W.L (1999). Emotion. "Annual Review of Psychology, 191.
• Kawabata H., Zeki S (2008). The Neural Correlates of Desire. PLoS ONE. 3 (8): e3027.