The 5 practical keys to mastering nonverbal language
Want to learn nonverbal language? This is an excellent summary on the subject.
There are many myths and ignorance about nonverbal language.
Gestural communication and everything we transmit with our physical expression is of cardinal importance when communicating with other human beings. In fact, experts say that up to 80% of what we transmit is done nonverbally, and only 20% has to do with our words.Surprising, isn't it?
In spite of this, its importance is unquestionable, since for many years a large part of the communication of the human species was based exclusively on gestures, expressions and grunts..
Non-verbal language: can it be improved?
Through this limited form of information exchange, humans had to be able to understand whether or not someone harbored friendly intentions, whether there was something to be immediately concerned about, or whether they had any chance of mating with other members of the tribe.
The increasing proliferation of scientific studies has allowed us to understand the role of nonverbal language in greater detail, but in some cases it has also contributed to an overly extreme view of its importance.
The reality is that in most situations no conclusions can be drawn from a single gesture alone.. They must be integrated within a context and a set of signals in order to give real meaning to that expression.
The science of body language still has many enigmas to be unraveled, but you can start with these. five concepts that will allow you to improve your social skills and non-verbal communication skills.
1. You express what you feel and you feel what you express.
There is a physiological mechanism, called proprioception, that establishes a two-way street between your emotions and your body language. between your emotions and your body language.. And that has enormous advantages for those who know how to use it to their advantage.
When you feel an emotion or are overcome by a feeling, your neurons send an order to your muscles to adopt a certain posture. If you feel insecure, for example, the consequence is that you will end up crossing your arms to establish a barrier.
However, some studies have shown that there is also the opposite pathway. If you consciously adopt a posture of insecurity, your mind will start to experience the corresponding emotion. Your brain understands that if it is showing that gesture it is because it should feel that way.
The good news is that it is possible to use this dual track to create positive states. If you adopt a confident posture, such as head held high and shoulders erect, you will begin to feel more confident and relaxed.
2. The farther away from the brain, the less control
Several research studies have concluded that the arms, hands and torso are the parts of the body most easily controlled consciously. That is why many people Many people are able to pretend through their nonverbal language that they feel emotions, when in fact they are that they feel some emotions, when in reality they are experiencing others.
But it also seems that the further away from the central nervous system a body part is located, the less conscious control we can exert over it. It is probably a question of inattention rather than physical distance, but in any case we tend to be less aware of the position of the legs than that of the arms.
It is a good idea that in addition to paying attention to the body language of the upper torso, you should also pay attention to the feet of the person you are talking to. pay attention to the feet of your conversation partner because they will provide you with valuable information. Our feet usually point to what we are interested in, whether it is a person or an escape route, and often go completely unnoticed.
3. The face is the mirror of the soul
Facial expressions also tend to be quite representative of someone's state of mind. In fact, there are even theories that link facial features with personality, such as Morphopsychology.
For many years of evolution we have had to be able to communicate able to communicate emotions accurately to survive as a species. to survive as a species. In this context, and due to the large number of existing facial muscles, the face has become the most reliable mirror of the soul.
Although there are many nuances, there are 4 to 6 basic emotions that our facial microexpressions are capable of communicating: joy, fear, anger, sadness, disgust and surprise. Each involves specific facial muscles and must be integrated into an overall context that includes the rest of body language and oral communication.
It is possible to distort facial microexpressions to some extent. facial microexpressions to camouflage feelings, but it is it is practically impossible to consciously control all the muscles involved.. That is why there are always clues such as the lack of elevation of the cheeks and eyes in the false expression of joy:
4. Imitating posture builds confidence
There is scientific evidence to support the fact that when two people like each other or spend a lot of time together, they tend to unconsciously adopt the same body language.. Much of the responsibility lies with emotional contagion through mirror neurons.
Imitating another person's body language is a simple and easy way to begin to establish a bond of trust, although it should be done carefully so that it is not obvious.
To achieve this you must be selective in what you imitateDo not copy gestures that would not come naturally to you, do not imitate them immediately after your interlocutor makes them, and vary their amplitude and intensity. It is also a good idea to avoid reproducing negative expressions so as not to increase their contagion, although it will depend on each specific situation.
Although it may seem manipulative, it is not when the objective is honest. Many people with great social skills have incorporated it unconsciously to get their interlocutor to relax and open up to deeper conversations.
5. Self-contact reveals a lot of information
Another way to get a lot of information from nonverbal language is through the type of contact with oneself.
Instinctively, young children cover their eyes when they don't want to see something. young children cover their eyes when they don't want to see something or cover their ears when they don't like what they hear. or cover their ears when they don't like what they hear. They also cover their mouths with a finger when they want to silence their interlocutor. Although with less intensity, these gestures often persist into adulthood.
When someone touches his or her eyes, ears or mouth, it may be an unconscious attempt to block out something that is unconscious attempt to block out something they don't like.. To avoid misinterpretations (such as an itchy eye), you should also take into account other signs that confirm this conclusion.
On the other hand, touching oneself by joining hands or rubbing one's arms together may indicate a need for support, perhaps as an inheritance of comfort in the form of physical contact that our parents offered us in childhood. This sign can help you sense that someone is feeling uncomfortable and needs to feel supported.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)