The 5 signs of envy: how to recognize it in people

This psychological phenomenon is often concealed by those who feel it, but it leaves clues.

There is something we often forget: our way of knowing ourselves is to compare the experiences that happen to us with those around us. comparing the experiences that happen to us with those that occur around us.. Living in society is indispensable to form what we call self-concept, which is the set of ideas that we associate with the "I". In order to judge and value those characteristics in which we stand out for better or worse, we must see how life is going for other people.

This, for some things, is positive, as it allows us to demand that injustices be corrected. But it also has its downside, as it it favors the appearance of envy.

The 5 signs of envy

Envy is what happens when a state of discomfort appears caused by the comparison between oneself and others, and we do not like the result of this mental operation. It is a phenomenon closely related to self-esteem, because it appears when this is threatened by new information about third parties with whom we consider that we can compare ourselves.

However, envy is not something negative just because it makes us feel bad. It is also negative because of how it interferes with the way we relate to others.. On the one hand, as we shall see, it gives us a reason to show a certain hostility to the person we envy. On the other hand, envy is something socially frowned upon, so that the person who experiences it tries to hide the fact that he feels this way, even if he manages to make his passive-aggressive or directly aggressive attitude towards the other person appear to be rationally justified.

However, there are ways to know approximately when a person is acting out of envy.. Whoever feels this way is not able to completely mask those causes that move him to behave in a certain way, for different reasons. In the following lines we will review several signs that denote envy. The fact that one or two of them are present does not mean that what is happening is precisely a problem of wounded egos, but in general, they help to understand what is happening because of probabilities.

1. Ill-justified animosity

One of the characteristics of envy, as we have seen, is that it arises from a compromised or damaged self-esteem. This means that the emotional impact of these comparisons generates something that in psychology is known as cognitive dissonance..

This phenomenon has to do with the discomfort that arises when a piece of information contradicts a deeply held belief that defines us as people. Paradoxically, what usually happens in these cases is not that we try to readjust our ideas to have a more realistic understanding of what is happening, but that we make the minimum necessary changes to assimilate that data.

In the case of envy, one of the ways in which cognitive dissonance is resolved is by assuming that the person to whom one compares oneself is someone despicable, so that what at first might appear to be a threat to our self-esteem ends up being a show of vanity, a deception to have a good image, a deception to have a good image, a deception to have a good image.A trick, a deception to have a good image in front of others, a trick, an illegitimate use of the efforts of others to take credit, etc.

2. Use of jokes and sarcasm to attack.

Under the effects of envy, the person feels in the dilemma of expressing his hostility while at the same time trying to show himself superior to the person with whom the comparison has arisen.

This means that ambiguous ways of attacking are used, such as through supposed jokes and sarcasm, as they allow one to have a dominant role (even if only for a few seconds) without appearing to have a certain need to satisfy one's ego in order to diminish cognitive dissonance.

Thus, what is really a way of alleviating the discomfort felt is disguised as displays of wit or even affability. This is one of the most frequent signs of envy..

3. Unjustified outbursts of anger

This is not something that occurs in all people who feel envy, but only in some of a more impulsive nature. As damage to self-esteem gives reason to feel hostility towards someone, it may happen that excuses are sought to attack the person who is considered better than oneself. In this sense, something that can be interpreted as a way of boasting about one's own merits may be almost unbearable for someone who is can be almost unbearable for someone who is going through one of these "envious stages".

4. Replications in the presence of more people

In envy, the fact that there are more people listening increases the discomfort at what is interpreted This is especially the case if the personal characteristic in question is a personal characteristic of the other person.

This is especially true if the personal characteristic in which one feels attacked is something relatively unique or uncommon. For example, if in a meeting there are two poets who are recognized for their talent, of the two artists the one who feels more threatened by the skills of the other will have more reason to feel attacked, because to remain silent would be like giving attention to the other person and make it possible for him to "sell himself" to others as he wants.

5. Slander

This is quite typical, because speaking ill of someone behind their back is seen as an easy way to undermine their an easy way to undermine their public image from a relative safety, without giving them a chance to show that they are not a "good person".This is quite typical, because speaking badly about someone behind their back is seen as an easy way to undermine their public image from relative safety, without giving them the opportunity to show that in reality the only thing they are looking for is to cause harm so that it is easier to think that this person is not "a competitor", given that no one takes them seriously.

Conclusion: jealousy is cured at home.

It is necessary to have clear that the base of the problem of jealousy has to do basically with a wounded self-esteem. That is to say, that the problem is one's own, and not the other's..

It is possible that a mentality very focused on competitiveness and constant comparisons makes us more vulnerable to this psychological phenomenon. Therefore, it is good to change both our self-concept and our philosophy of life.