The 6 types of social skills, and what they are for

These are the skills necessary to adapt to social life in the right way.

Throughout our daily lives we are forced to face a series of social situations in which we must interact with other people. In order to effectively resolve each of these situations, people must use what are known as social skills.

These abilities allow us to relate to others and resolve situations and conflicts in our interaction with others. In addition, there are different types of social skills that are classified according to their complexity and according to the functions they perform.

What are social skills?

At the moment there is no single consensus within the world of psychology to define the concept of "social skills" in a unique and equal manner. However, if we take into account both its characteristics and its functions, we can define social skills as the set of tactics or behavioral maneuvers that people learn naturally and that are used in situations of interaction with other people. are used in situations of interaction with other people in order to resolve a social situation. with the objective of successfully resolving a social situation.

In other words, social skills are the patterns of behavior that we adopt to achieve objectives that have to do with how we behave in relationships with others. For example, they help us to have help when we need it, they allow us to make ourselves known in the way we want to be seen, they make it possible for us to be taken into account when looking for someone to take on tasks for which we are qualified, and in general, they make it easier for us to become respected members of society, and understood in our circles of friends and our family context.

The fact that these skills are not innate, but learned spontaneously or with the help of others throughout our lives, makes them susceptible to be trained and improved through the use of social skills learning techniques. That is why many times, one of the objectives of psychotherapy is to help people improve their social skills.

A good development of social skills allows us to express our emotions and feelings in an adequate and satisfactory manner. In the same way, it also gives us the possibility to express our opinions and thoughts according to the situation we are living.

Thanks to them, we enjoy favorable and positive interpersonal relationships; we feel better about ourselves and facilitate the achievement of our goals in our social lives..

These skills are also observed in the animal world; in nature we can observe communication and relationship skills between members of the same animal species, these abilities are analogous to what we know as social skills.

Finally, and by way of summary, social skills possess a series of characteristics that distinguish and differentiate them from other types of human skills. These characteristics are:

• They are learned and therefore susceptible to be trained and improved.
• They are necessary if we are to enjoy good mental and psychological health.
• They are not rigid patterns of behaviorThey are not rigid patterns of behavior, but rules that adjust to each situation.

Types of social skills

There are different ways of grouping the different types of social skills according to the classification criteria used. In this case, we will stick to the classic classification of social skills, within which there are 6 different sets, as we will see.

It is necessary to add that all these categories are modulated by two basic attitudes when establishing interpersonal relationships. These aptitudes are assertiveness and empathy.which have the capacity to condition the rest of the skills we will see below.

1. Basic social skills

They are the first to be acquired, being essential for generating and maintaining satisfactory communication in most areas of life.. These include:

• Knowing how to initiate a dialogue.
• Knowing how to Maintain a conversation..
• Active listening skills.
• Asking questions.
• Introducing oneself.
• Saying thank you.
• Ability to give compliments.
• Empathic skills.

2. Advanced social skills

Once the person has acquired the basic social skills, he/she has the necessary basis to work on the advanced social skills, which provide strategies to manage social relationships. This category of types of social skills includes the following skills:

• Ability to offer an opinion.
• Asking for help.
• Ability to apologize..
• Participation.
• Suggesting and giving instructions.
• Following instructions.
• Capacity of conviction..

3. Affective social skills

This type of skills are related to the ability to identify and manage, in an effective way, both our feelings and the feelings of others. Within this category we find:

• Identifying and knowing emotions and feelings.
• Understanding the feelings of others.
• Ability to express feelings and emotions.
• Expression of affection.
• Respecting the feelings of others.
• Ability to Coping with the anger of others..
• Ability to self-reward.
• Managing fear of talking to people.
• Ability to encourage others.
• Ability to comforting others..

4. Negotiation skills or alternatives to aggressiveness.

Social skills related to negotiation are those that allow us to avoid conflict or manage it appropriately. They consist of the ability to solve problems within interpersonal relationships without using aggression or violence. These are:

• Knowing how to ask permission.
• Ability to share.
• Ability to help others.
• Ability to love oneself.
• Ability to tolerate and respond to jokes.
• Negotiation skills.
• Ability to self-control.
• Ability to defend one's rights.
• Not to get into fights.
• Ability to avoid problems for other people.

5. Ability to cope with stress

This type of skills are necessary for the successful resolution of conflicts in contexts of tension or stress. Within this group are:

• Ability to manage the feeling of shame.
• Ability to defend the other.
• Tolerance to failure.
• Ability to respond to persuasion..
• Ability to respond to an accusation.
• Ability to formulate complaints or complaints.
• Ability to respond to complaints or claims.
• Sportsmanship.
• Ability to cope with peer pressure.
• Managing a complicated conversation..
• Tolerance to being ignored or scorned.
• Ability to confront contradictory messages.

6. Planning skills

This type of social skills have to do with how we project ourselves into the future by creating strategies to solve problems through relationships with others. Within the category of social skills related to planning we can find:

• Recognition of one's own abilities..
• Ability to make decisions.
• Determination of objectives.
• Identifying the cause of problems and solving them.
• Gathering information.
• Ability to concentrate on a task.