The 7 myths of romantic love

There are many irrational beliefs about love and what a relationship should be like.

In modern times and especially in Western culture, a model of affectivity called romantic love has been forged, a model of affectivity called romantic love has been forged.which is rooted in the idea of monogamous bonds and stable relationships resistant to all difficulties. This has given rise to countless myths that pervade the mentality of society, making love and relationships misleading.

Although it is relatively easy to fall in love, learning to love is not so easy. And in love, as much the communication, as the capacity to solve problems, are aspects that must be worked within the relation, and that are not solved leaving that cupid does of his his his.

What is a myth?

A myth is a belief, one more component within a whole structure of beliefs shared by a culture or society, which accepts them as true. In general, myths tend to be a simplification of some aspect of reality about some aspect of reality and have the capacity to influence, to a greater or lesser degree, our behavior.

These beliefs give the impression of being based on the objectivity that surrounds us, but although sometimes it is difficult to distinguish them, they are not; which leads the person to commit a mistake. leads the person to commit a series of avoidable mistakes..

The myths, as much those related to romantic love as to any other field, usually act in an unconscious way on people; and although when reading the following beliefs many of them can seem evidently erroneous, they exert a strong influence on the idea that people have of love.

Each person has his or her own mythology of love, based on personal, family or cultural experiences. However, it is thanks to the media, movies, literature, etc. that these beliefs have intensely invaded the mental framework of society, introducing ideas such as that true love lasts forever, that there is only one person in the world who is perfect for us, or that jealousy is a guarantee of love.

Types of romantic love myths

Due to the long-lasting impact that the idea of romantic love has had on today's culture, there are many myths that wander through people's imagination.

With the aim of disarming these beliefs, or at least to make the reader a little more aware of them, this article includes a small compilation of the most popular, and possibly harmful, myths of the romantic landscape..

1. Love can do anything

Despite the temptation to believe it when you see it written down, the idea that if there is love in a relationship this is a sufficient guarantee to overcome any problem is absurd. This myth also works in the opposite direction, leading us to think that if there are problems there is no love..

This belief leads to think that in relationships considered as perfect, people do not have any kind of conflict between them, and that respect, trust and communication come as standard along with love.

The possible consequences of this myth are in the first place, early or unnecessary breakups by not looking for solutions to concrete problems, and an even more damaging consequence of this myth is that people do not have any kind of conflict between them.and an even more damaging consequence for the person is that he or she will put up with any kind of harmful situation or humiliation for the sake of love, because love heals everything and can do everything.

2. Love at first sight

This superstition ranges from a belief in a crush to the idea that chance somehow interferes to bring about a meeting between two people destined to be together.

In any case, although the existence of a powerful affinity or attraction facilitates the beginning of any relationship, the belief in such a powerful attraction leads the person to not be able to perceive the reality clearly. leads the person to be unable to perceive reality clearly, or even to see that which he or she really does not.or even see that which does not really exist.

Finally, this myth leads people to ignore relationships with a very high potential for enrichment because they have not started with a passionate match, or on the other hand, to interpret this fiery "passionality" as a proof of love.

3. The better half

The longed-for and pursued better half. The paradigm that encompasses this myth is that there is only one person in the world who is ideal for everyone.

The main conflict with this belief is the frustration it can generate when it is internalized as a rigid pattern. Leading the person to cling to a bond only because he/she thinks that he/she will never ever find another being as perfect for him/her and, furthermore, to think that after a breakup the possibilities are over.

Also, if we take into consideration that the concept of perfection is a pure ideal, it is practically impossible for anyone to fit into those schemes. that no one will fit into those schemes that the person imagines.. The search can be, if possible, even more discouraging.

4. The right person fills all aspects of life

This myth includes phrases such as "we must share all our tastes and hobbies", "we are responsible for each other's happiness", "we are only one person", etc.

Surely, the reader will recognize all these phrases heard from the mouths of others or even from oneself; but when read out of context, these expressions fall under their own weight.

The effects of these statements are innumerable, and in the vast majority of cases negative; the most important of which is that of originating an obsession to find another person to begin to live, to realize the to start living, to make dreams come true or even to start being happy.

5. Full sexual rapport is irrefutable proof of love.

This myth goes hand in hand with the myth of love at first sight. In it, the person firmly believes that if his or her love is true sexual relations will always be amazingly good.

It is true that a healthy and fulfilling sexual life is important in the development of a relationship, but neither love is a guarantee of this, nor good sex is a guarantee of love. It is absolutely necessary to know one's own body as well as that of the other person, and to work on sexuality just as one works on any other aspect of the relationship.

6. When you are in love it is not possible to feel attraction for another person.

However, at this point the reality is very different. Starting from the idea that love does not paralyze the willingness to be attracted to others and that fidelity is a social construct, in which it is the couple themselves who decide what they are attracted to. the couple themselves decide what kind of commitment they want to make.It is very common to experience some kind of affinity with other people without this meaning that one no longer loves one's partner, and it is up to the person him/herself to establish the limits of this attraction.

7. Jealousy is a proof of love

The myth of love par excellence; being justified and fought almost in equal parts.

In reality, the experience of jealousy is only an indicator of the threshold of anguish. is only an indicator of the threshold of anguish at the idea of someone else at the idea of another person taking away that which is rightfully his or her own. That which the person believes he or she is entitled to receive exclusively.

Jealousy is simply a demonstration of the fear of losing that which is perceived as a possession, i.e. the other person.