The 8 types of emotional blackmail (and signs to detect it).
Psychological manipulation can take many forms, and often resorts to the use of guilt.
Relationships, whether as a couple or less associated with emotional ties, are always complex.are always complex. This means that, while they give us the option of creating well-established friendships and love affairs, they also leave plenty of scope for things to go wrong for a wide variety of reasons.
The different types of emotional blackmail that exist are a way of making us feel guilty for what happened in the past, when what really happened is not a reason to feel bad about oneself. That is: there are ways to make us look back and see a trajectory of events that almost force us to do what the other person wants.
Types of emotional blackmail
In this article we will see what are those types of emotional blackmail and what are the ideas and messages that are hidden behind them.
1. The elephant in the room
The concept of "elephant in the room" refers to an idea or fact that, although it is important and is present in the thoughts of all people is present in the thoughts of all the people involved, is not addressed, avoided, or avoided.is not addressed, it is avoided.
Similarly, a type of emotional blackmail is based precisely on feigning a pretended normality in such a forced way that it is clear that there is something wrong, the "nullified" issue being some kind of conflict that both members of a relationship are aware of and should talk about in order to resolve it.
The fact that someone acts in front of another person in a way that shows loudly the existence of a taboo. is something that creates a rarefied atmosphere in which the conflict is sensed all the time and, consequently, the guilt does not leave us.
2. Self-punishment
Punishing oneself in front of the other partner is one form of emotional blackmail. one of the most common forms of emotional blackmail.It is simple and emotionally impactful.
Moreover, the negative implications of self-punishment are so strong that it is even possible to fake it, since the possibility that someone is suffering means that we often do not stop to critically analyze whether it is true or not. For example, a person can pretend to make a sacrifice to answer the other, without that sacrifice actually existingHe says that he had planned to go to see his parents and he won't be able to do it, but maybe he didn't even feel like doing it.
3. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a type of manipulation very frequent in contexts of maltreatment. It consists of making the other person believe that his or her mental capacities do not make him or her capable of knowing what is really happening, and that what he or she thinks are reasons to get angry are not really reasons to get angry.
For example, convincing the other person that something was never promised when in fact it did happen, and blaming the other person for making up memories. This phenomenon makes the other person feel bad about him/herself and believe that it is the other person who is being too patient. it is the other person who is being too patient..
4. Suicide threats
It is very important to make it clear that not all statements related to the possibility of committing suicide are a form of emotional blackmail. In fact, most of the people who take their own lives warn before. That is why in any case, in the event of such reactions (for example, in the context of a breakup) it is very important to seek professional help.
5. Commercial blackmail
This is a type of blackmail in which an attempt is made to induce guilt underlining facts that apparently can be interpreted as sacrifices that have been made for the other person. For example, paying for drinks. The logic behind this reasoning is that everything that at first appeared to be a spontaneous show of kindness actually had a price, one that is decided a posteriori at the blackmailer's convenience.
6. Verbal abuse
Verbal abuse is considered a form of mistreatment, but it also has a facet as a type of emotional blackmail. This is so because through insults and belittling, the other person is made to internalize the idea that he/she is not worth the effort. internalizes the idea that he/she is worthlessThe self-esteem of the child is very low, that his or her own judgment does not matter and that, therefore, the best thing to do is to obey. Self-esteem is greatly affected.
7. Need blackmail
Some people try to emotionally blackmail others by using a kind of discourse according to which they have "basic needs". according to which they have "basic needs that they need to satisfy, something they cannot fight against. This makes being forced to satisfy them seem the most reasonable thing to do, and not doing so would give rise to guilt.
8. Appropriation
This type of emotional blackmail is typical of some relationships. It is based on the idea that there is one party protecting the other, which in practice means that one person must be controlled by his or her partner. must be controlled by his or her partner.. To question this would be to undermine the well-being of the relationship, so no attempt is made to break this dynamic.
(Updated at Apr 14 / 2024)