The 8 types of family conflicts and how to manage them.

Arguments and disputes in the family can become a great source of discomfort.

The term family comprises a group of people made up of people united by filial relationships, ie, parents, children and siblings, or by couple ties.. This system is understood as an open totality, in which all components are closely related.

Because of this close and intimate relationship, the behavior of any one of them can affect the dynamics of the family. Naturally, family disputes and conflicts are part of the family dynamics, family disputes and conflicts are part of these dynamics.. However, different types of family conflict exist; according to the type of bond between people or according to the cause that originates it.

Discussions and disputes in the family

The conflicts or disputes constitute an inseparable element of the fact of living in a societyThe conflict is an inseparable element of living in society, since it is made up of many different individuals with diverse opinions and ways of thinking. In addition, a well-managed conflict is established as a means for development and progress, so it is necessary to face it in order to learn from it.

Evidently, family conflict is something natural, since in the coexistence of the members of a family unit, with different ages, thoughts and ways of seeing life, conflict is inevitable. Nevertheless, the fundamental thing is not to avoid the conflict at all costs, since that is impossible, but to avoid the escalation of aggressiveness and to handle it in an intelligent and assertive way.

At the moment in which a conflict appears in a family or family unit, an instability also appears, also appears an instability that can entail frustrations and disproportionate worries in some members. frustrations and disproportionate worries in some members. In addition, old problems that were not solved may begin to resurface and only contribute to making the ball of conflict bigger.

Any kind of family crisis requires the cooperation of all members, as well as a transformation and adaptation to a new situation.It also requires a transformation and adaptation to a new situation, since during a family dispute the rules imposed in the family context become uncertain and need to be reworked.

Types of family conflicts

There are several ways to categorize the different types of family conflicts. This categorization can be based on the type of relationship that exists between the agents involved in the dispute or based on the focus or cause of the conflict.

1. Types of family conflicts by type of relationship

Depending on the type of relationship or kinship that exists between family members, four types of family conflicts can be differentiated.

1.1. Couple conflicts

It is irremediable that disputes or crises arise in the couple context; however, if people are capable of handling them in an adequate manner, these conflicts can serve to strengthen the couple's bond. can serve to strengthen the couple's bond..

Usually these difficulties arise naturally as a result of communication problems or misunderstandings. The most common causes of daily conflicts in the couple are:

• Communication problemsIncorrect expressions, reproaches, emotional speech, insults, etc.
• Feeling of loss of freedom and autonomy on the part of one of the partners.
• Trying to change the other person's way of being.
• Lack of problem-solving skills..

Conflicts between parents and children.

Depending on the stage of development of each of the parties involved in the conflict, they can be subdivided into three categories:

• Conflicts during the infant stage: conflicts usually revolve around the development of the child's autonomy. In these cases, either the parents are not clear on how to grant this autonomy, or they do not believe that the child is orienting himself/herself. they do not believe that the child is moving in the direction they believe to be correct..

• Conflicts during adolescence: is the stage in which the greatest number of conflicts arise.. These appear when the children are between 12 and 18 years old and are given by the fluctuations or emotional ups and downs typical of this period.

• Conflicts with adult children: when the children reach the age of majority it means the beginning of the coexistence between already adult people. These people usually have different ways of thinking and understanding how to live or organize their lives, so this period is also a time when they have different ways of thinking and understanding how to live or organize their lives. is likely to provoke some family conflicts.

1.3. Conflicts between siblings

This type of conflicts are the most common and the ones that last the longest regardless of the vital stage in which each one of them is. These altercations are usually maintained for a very short time and most of the time the interference of the parents is not obligatory.

The positive side of this type of conflicts is that they constitute a prelude to conflicts that may appear in adulthood, and therefore serve as an initiation and apprenticeship for adult life..

1.4. Conflicts with old age

When an adult person enters the stage of the third age the changes that he/she experiences are extremely transcendental. Both at the Biological level, when the person notices the deterioration of his or her own body, and at the social level, when events such as retirement, loss of friends or loved ones appear. events such as retirement, loss of friends or loved ones, etc., appear.etc.

This set of changes can be experienced in a very dramatic way by the person, giving rise to conflicts with the other components of the family nucleus.

2. According to the focus of the problem

These conflicts are categorized according to the source or focus of the problem, and although they are described separately, there may be more than one type at the same time.

2.1. Life cycle crises

Each change or leap from one stage of the life cycle to another is usually accompanied by some conflict, this is due to a series of factors such as new responsibilities, assimilation of new rolesThis is due to a series of factors such as new responsibilities, assimilation of new roles or events such as marriages, retirements or deaths.

If these conflicts try to be neutralizing or are managed in an inept way, they can turn into real family crises.

2.2. External crises

The origin of these crises lies in** the sudden occurrence of an unexpected event**. These events range from the loss of a job, an accident of some kind, the death of a loved one, etc.

What often characterizes these crises is the search for blame on the part of the person most affected, instead of trying to get used to it.instead of trying to get used to the new circumstances.

2.3. Structural crises

In this kind of difficulties, old crises or events are repeated and renewed, causing conflicts to reappear among family members.

2.4. Attention crises

These crises are typical of family units in which dependent or helpless persons reside. In these cases, conflicts arise when caregivers are limited or restricted in their usual activities or freedoms. are limited or restricted in their usual activities or freedoms..

Tips for managing family conflicts

It is necessary to understand that in a situation of family conflict not everything is negative. A conflict can be a perfect opportunity to learn new ways to solve problems. First of all, it is necessary to identify the specific causes of the conflict in order to be able to work on possible changes.

Some tactics or strategies to handle disputes effectively are:

1. Practice active listening

Paying full attention to what the other person is trying to convey, as well as making sure that you have understood his or her demands and that the other person is aware that you have understood him or her.

2. Watching the way you speak

Using careful language and correct expressions are essential for good communication. essential to maintain good communication.

A good way to express feelings in an appropriate way is to replace reproaches with expressions of what is being felt or what the person feels hurt. It is also necessary to raise or suggest alternative suggest alternative solutions to the problems that have caused the crisis..

3. Allow the intervention of all those involved.

It is very common that in any type of dispute the people involved take each other's word away from each other, or do not want some of the others involved to intervene in the solution of the problem.

However, this is a serious mistake. Since none of the parties involved should be prioritized and all of them have the right and obligation to intervene at the same level.

4. Showing affection

Despite experiencing a conflict situation that can be stressful, it is important to continue to express affection, it is important to continue to express love and affection and affection; as these lower the stress levels in relationships.

5. Find the right time and place

Due to the emotional component of family conflicts, people often tend to argue at any time and place. However, it is better to postpone the it is better to postpone the discussion for a time when the mood is calmer and the context is more conducive to dialogue.