The Japanese box metaphor "Himitsu-bako".

A puzzle in the form of a box that explains some clues about our psyche.

The concept of these puzzle boxes originated in the early 19th century in the region of Hakone (Japan), where they were given as souvenirs to people who visited thewhere they were given as souvenirs to people who visited the hot springs in the area. Its creator was Ryugoro Okawa.

It is a type of box that can only be opened through a series of very precise movements. Some boxes only require sliding a few pieces to the right place; others require millimetric movements in each of its pieces.

You can watch a video about these boxes below:

What are Himitsu-bako boxes?

This week, the Mensalus Institute team explains the importance of understanding and respecting "the difference" through the metaphor of the Himitsu-Bako boxes.

What is the metaphor behind the puzzle box?

To begin with, each box is unique and therefore, so is the way it is opened. As we mentioned, they are manufactured with different levels of complexity. For this reason, simple models require only two or three steps to open, while more complex models require a minimum of a thousand movements.

Something similar happens with conflict resolution. Each situation is unique, regardless of its complexity, and requires a unique intervention strategy.

Every day we deal with situations that share similar processes. When there is learning and routine, the issues we deal with and resolve are like the simple little boxes. Yet, each moment, each scenario, is unique. Likewise, throughout life we also encounter complex boxes that require time and attention. The solution requires more elaborate moves and, of course, many failed tests.

In the case of both simple and complex boxes, trial and error is what points out the piece to slide. Solutions flow with practice and take shape through learning and patience.

Does the metaphor of boxes also apply to people?

Of course it does. Each person possesses unique tools (resources) that allow them to connect with the world, relate to themselves and others, cope with adversity, and so on. This set of skills is reflected in their system of thoughts and emotions. Each of us, in every situation, will think, feel and act differently (behave like a unique puzzle box).

What does this individual difference tell us?

Understanding that each person is a box and operates as such helps us to understand that there is no single reality and no single way of looking at life, while at the same time reminding us of the importance of empathizing with "the box" of others.

Sometimes it is difficult to adapt to the other person's way of operating...

True. And not only because of the difference in points of view, but also because of the difference in vital rhythms. For example, what for one is a moment of reflection or waiting, for another may be a waste of time.

Continuing with the example of vital rhythms, in teamwork, respect for the "other's box" is a very important issue to deal with. The metaphor of the Himitsu-Bako boxes is a very graphic way of explaining that the intervention strategy will not only depend on the objective, but also on the people involved and the synergies created when working.

This can also be extrapolated to other systems (e.g. the family or couple context). The difference in rhythms when solving daily life issues can become a serious problem. When this happens, preserving an assertive communication style is one of the main challenges.

In this regard, what aspects can help when it comes to respecting the rhythm of others?

First of all, avoid imposing our own rhythm as the only valid structure. Rigid postures lead to discussions characterized by unsuccessful communicative strategies such as "escalation" (raising the tone and aggressiveness of discourse in order to seek recognition) or omission (keeping quiet and putting up with without sharing one's opinion).

Understanding that the other person operates from his or her own way of interpreting reality unveils a world to us (new points of view) and complements our vision, either through reinforcing or subtracting power from our constructs (those words that shape our discourse and explain our values).

At times when communication is not efficient, how can the metaphor of the boxes help us?

If we do not understand the box, we will hardly be able to open it (solve the puzzle). This understanding involves recognizing the need of the other, exposing one's own need and analyzing the situation from both points of view.

Remembering the metaphor of the Himitsu-bako boxes is a way of making explicit the difference that characterizes each human being, which in turn defines his or her essence (his or her way of thinking, feeling and acting).

Accepting difference makes us more flexible and efficient in conflict resolution. Moreover, such acceptance makes it easier for us to connect with others and helps us to enjoy the attractiveness of the uniqueness of each "box".