The nature of personal development: interview with Rubén Camacho

Is personal development something that can be learned in classrooms?

We often take for granted that people only grow in their childhood and youth; however, at the same time we also have the notion that there is another type of growth, less evident than the first one, which is embodied in actions and life attitudes.

Considering that this last element can develop throughout life and that what we get out of it can significantly influence our quality of life and the quality of our relationships, its importance is comparable to that of Biological development.

However, in order to enhance personal development, it is necessary to in order to enhance personal development, it is necessary to understand what it is, what its nature is.. Let's ask someone who is specifically dedicated to this area of life.

Interview with Rubén Camacho, psychologist and coach

Rubén Camacho is a psychologist, coach and writer. He is currently dedicated specifically to working in processes of accompaniment of people who seek to boost their personal growth. On this occasion, we will ask him a series of questions about his experience of what personal development is and how it can be facilitated.

Personal development is a difficult area of experience to define, partly because it is different for each person. However, if you had to summarize the concept, how would you do it?

Personal development is first and foremost an experience. If we had to define what personal development is in a concrete way, we could say that it is a series of different and conscious experiences and actions that you take in your life, in a specific period of time and focused on a specific objective, that make you grow as a person and change your life and what happens to you thanks to your own change and to develop personal skills that were a bit dormant or that you had not paid attention to, such as your management of emotions, self-esteem style, your way of communicating, your self-knowledge or personal relationships.

Our life is full of moments where we seem to get stuck in something, we live in a circle and we don't like it. Personal development is what makes us get out of that circle and learn something very important for us that makes us live better and above all that serves us for our whole life.

The problem is that it is very complicated to do it alone, since people are social beings and in the company we find a reflection that helps us to realize what we have to change and how we can achieve it. Psychologists are the ones who have the tools to do it professionally and safely, although it is true that psychology has focused more on pathologies than on personal development.

It is also true that personal development has also become a fashion. This is good on the one hand, because it helps us to be aware that there are aspects that we can change to grow and live better, but it is also dangerous, because it encourages many people to follow gurus or to be accompanied by people who do not have the proper training.

Personal development, after all, is something that will change your life, so it is important to take it seriously and with great enthusiasm and joy. Difficulties exist so that we can learn to be grateful for them.

In recent years many courses and workshops on personal development are being designed around the world. Do you think that the theoretical learning that is transmitted in them is necessary to achieve the objectives they propose?

No, it is not necessary at all. In fact, it seems to me that it is a distractor. I have accompanied people to achieve incredible changes in their lives and they have not needed any theory at all. It's like learning the formula for H2O and bathing in a river. What's the experience really? Is knowing the formula for water going to change your life? No. But bathing in a river will make you feel the water, the cold, it will be the great experience.

Personal development is something that you do differently, that you live, that you feel and experience to discover that you have great value and that what happens to you will change if you change.

This is the reason why these courses are not really useful... learning about emotion management is one thing, but learning to manage emotions is another. In reality, these courses exist as a business, but they do not imply that people achieve change. I always ask all the people I have accompanied: what have you done so far to achieve the change you want? Some told me that they have attended courses, workshops, trainings... but nothing has changed.

What really works is a process of change. Practice, accompaniment, reflection, awareness and many pleasant emotions. Theory is for studying or training, not for changing your life. Life is outside the classroom and your dreams have no walls.

We talk about what personal development is and how it can be enhanced through accompaniment. One of the most striking aspects of your career is that at one point you decided to travel around several countries alone, without knowing anyone in the places you were going to, in order to develop as a professional and as a person. In retrospect, what do you value most from those trips?

First and foremost, having challenged my fears. Traveling alone is scary, as well as not knowing anyone and immersing yourself in insecurity. Before those trips I was already accompanying people as a psychologist and coach, but I had to set an example. I discovered that what most prevents us from changing and improving is being afraid of insecurity. So I decided to disobey my fear and do what made me most insecure: go into the unknown.

I discovered how important it is to accept life, to accept changes, to know that everything is temporary, and in passing I met beautiful places and incredible people. I took with me not only experiences but I also built a family. Thanks to go beyond your fears and accept life and receive what it has for you, is how everything changes and you get a thousand gifts that you could not even imagine.

Regarding the above... Do you think it is essential that a coach must lead by example in order to practice? Is it good that challenges are posed to test yourself?

Absolutely. A coach is a person who knows how to accompany another, in a professional and ethical way, to achieve very important changes in his life. To do this, he or she must be able to respect the other person's world, see it in perspective and broaden that vision. If you live without changing anything or with a very rigid way of life, it will be difficult for you to help the other person to change. It is like an overweight doctor, a writer with spelling mistakes, an unfriendly teacher or a corrupt politician. If you don't set an example, you won't be able to help the other person.

However, it is also important that change is not a constant. Getting out of your comfort zone" also has its limits. You should not go out just for the sake of it, but only when it is necessary. Human beings also need acceptance and stability.

And about the controversy on whether coaches need to be psychologists to work in this, what do you think? How do you see the relationship between these two fields of work?

They are two totally compatible and companionable fields. I don't understand the dispute, although I do understand that many psychologists are very angry. In my case, as a psychologist and coach, I can only say to psychologists that coaching is not the problem, but rather the intrusiveness of the coaching world and the excess of poor quality training.

A psychologist has the basis, the training and the tools to help others to improve their lives when there are pathological problems. A coach uses a Socratic dialogue, which is the same basic tool as a psychologist, to accompany people to achieve concrete changes in a safe, stable and short time.

If coaching has emerged, it is because there was a gap left empty by psychology. In my experience I have discovered that coaching is nothing more than a very powerful accompaniment tool (perhaps the most powerful, effective and safe) for people who do not suffer from psychological problems.

Should a coach be a psychologist? In principle no, since I know many coaches who are not psychologists and have a great track record and ethics. However, it is true that these professionals have been trained as much as possible in psychology.

How to solve the problem of intrusiveness? From my point of view, the solution lies in psychology... Psychology faculties must conquer coaching as their own human tool, not leave it in the hands of associations and private schools that are nothing more than businesses. Maybe not now, but I would love that in the not too distant future coaching will be totally regulated and that psychologists will be obliged to be psychologists. That's how we will put an end to instrusiveness.

What have been the biggest challenges and victories you have had in your professional career so far?

The biggest challenges have been facing myself. Accompanying people from other cultures has been a big challenge. Accompanying people when I was also going through great changes and personal difficulties has been a great challenge. Accompanying people in large and complex institutions has been a challenge. But the most important has been to overcome myself. Knowing that the most important thing was to help others and to be able to overcome those difficulties.

The greatest victories? To feel part of the victories of the people I have accompanied. For me, the greatest achievement is knowing that you have been able to help someone change their life forever. I don't care about logos, brands or fame, I care about the testimonials of the people I have accompanied.

Those have been my greatest victories: when a person who has completed a process of change sends me their testimony and expresses their happiness, or when I write them an email after 6 months or a year and they tell me how much they have learned and that everything has changed forever in the aspect we worked on. My greatest victory is not having given up in the face of difficulties.

Another thing to highlight about you is that you have developed a project called Human Empowerment, based on the accompaniment of people. How does it work and why did you decide to design it as you have?

Empoderamiento humano is an online personal development school. In this school you can be in contact with me, choose what you want to change and start a 3-month change process with my company in areas such as self-knowledge, self-esteem and personal relationships, emotion management or professional development.

The operation is the simplest in the world: you enter, you register in the program that interests you, you start a training, you write me an email... it is a school that never closes. The trainings are processes of change that last 3 months with my company, and you can do them from home and with freedom of schedules.

It has been the way I imagined and that I have designed to be able to accompany all kinds of people without the usual limitations: space, distance or money (since being online, they are more economical and affordable processes than a coaching process). In this school is everything I have learned and it is the best way in which I can accompany someone, because it is free, we are not limited by any factor and the processes are private.

In these years of travel I realized that people have difficulties to change because personal development is also something elitist or only talks or courses are offered. Human Empowerment gives the possibility to live your real process of change. Besides, I also have freedom of schedule and agenda, so it allows me to be with my son and my family. All are advantages!

Finally, what would you say are the aspects of life in which we find the keys to personal development?

Mainly in personal relationships, and I know this especially since I am married! Living as hermits or seeking solitude or silence in an absolute way is not what works, but what separates us and gives us only an ephemeral happiness, which is the same we have when we consume.

We are mirrors of each other and in personal relationships is the greatest learning of our life. It is in each other's company that you can learn everything, and if you accept the other you accept yourself. My wife and my son, for example, are my great teachers because they constantly reflect me and help me to know what I should change or improve.

All religions say it: "marriage is half of religion". But in reality, any type of relationship is a challenge and a great learning experience: couple, friendship, social, work or family. Through the other we learn to accept and to know ourselves.

Another of the great keys are personal crises. They are great opportunities for self-knowledge and change. When there is a crisis, it does not mean that we have made a mistake or that something bad has happened, but that there is something in you (in your way of seeing life, of interpreting what happens to you and to others) that must change because it no longer serves you. The change is always within you.

Another main and essential key is to take action. Personal development is not achieved with magic phrases or by attending lectures, but by acting differently. To achieve personal development you have to live, to know, to accept, to dare to do something different, to commit yourself, to have the company and above all to have a great desire to achieve it. It seems very difficult when you think about it, but when you overcome the first phases everyone is surprised at how easy it is.

Everyone wonders: why didn't I do it before if it was so easy? It's about taking the step. It's about taking the plunge. It's the greatest gift you can give yourself in your life.