The why of things

It is necessary to go beyond the "why" of what happens to us in order to enhance our personal development.

If I had to choose a question that comes to mind recurrently in the most arduous and complicated moments of our existence, for me it would be none other than the question that begins with "Why? the unknown that begins with a "why?".

If you have decided to start reading this article, it has probably been motivated by the interest aroused by the question in question. Well, especially for you, this reflection is important.

Search for the answers above all

Why did this happen to me? Why did he leave? Why doesn't he love me? Why am I not able to get it? Why do I fall into the same trap over and over again? Why don't people like me? Why is the world like this? Why do people behave the way they do? Why, why, why, why ....?

As a defense mechanism, we try to understand in a more or less logical, more or less fair, more or less rational way.more or less fair, more or less rational, a world that often has little to do with logic, fairness or rationality. But as if it were a bureaucratic application, it is very difficult for us to skip that first step of the procedure. That phase in which we understand unequivocally that something is going wrong, it is not going as we expected or it is just the way it is and we have to accept it, no matter how absurd it may seem to us.

Such is the case of children who, having everything, do not know how to give value to anything and who, faced with any daily setback, are unable to overcome the resulting level of frustration. Or those couples, who seem perfect, but overnight make us perplexed by their incomprehensible breakup. There is also the why of those who are young, beautiful and slender, while at the same time insecure, fainthearted or conformist. Or why the talented young man who continually squanders his talent, preferring other channels to guide his destiny.

There is also the why of the boss, who likes to surround himself with subjects instead of critics, for the greater glory of his ego as opposed to the success of his company. Or why the one who, enjoying innumerable strengths, fears the worst omens that may never come, in a multitude of areas of his existence... and in front of all of them, something even more profound and incomprehensible at the same time and incomprehensible at the same time, the why of my why.

Getting out of the vicious circle of thought

Following the usual script of a literary article, now would be the precise moment in which it would be convenient to offer the pertinent answers to the questions posed, but I am afraid that, whoever expected such a thing at this moment, will be beginning to feel a certain sense of disappointment at the same time as he or she advances along these lines.

Indeed, I do not have a single, genuine answer, I do not have a unique, genuine or original response that can offer an answer to the innumerable list of "why's" posed so far and even if I did, I doubt that I could offer peace or satisfaction to anyone who held such expectations. If that has been your case, perhaps you should sharpen your senses and pay even closer attention to what follows this paragraph.

Going beyond motives

When we ask ourselves why, we begin a journey. A journey that takes us back to our past. We watch over and over again the horror movie that led us to ask ourselves the need to find an explanation the need to find an explanation to such misfortune, because when things are going well, few are those who ask themselves the "why" of it, and if they do, they do not usually spend too much time in elaborating the relevant analysis.

My question to the former would be, what do you expect to find there, in the past, that you have not already found? This figurative trip to the past, to what we were, did or lost will only justify or, in other words, excuse our present behavior, condemning us irrevocably to repeat our fateful destiny over and over again, due to the immobility that follows this type of analysis.

If what we want is to leave an episode behind, to overcome a limitation, to grow, to advance and to develop ourselves, we cannot be satisfied with an explanation, with a "why".... We will have to look for arguments for change, motivations and illusions that implement new actions, which in turn can produce new results, because if we are aware of anything, it is that where these "why's" take us, is not where we want to go.