Tips to improve parent-child communication

Communication problems with your child? Here are the keys to improve this aspect.

Knowing how to listen and talk is the key to any healthy relationship, also between you and your children. But being a parent is hard work and maintaining good communication with your children, especially during adolescence, can be a challenge.

An added difficulty is that parents have to juggle their work life with family time, which means that most of the time they can't devote as much time as they would like to nurturing the relationship they have with their children. In today's article we explain a series of tips based on mutual respect that will help communication between you and your children to be more fluid and beneficial for both of you..

1. Be accessible to your children

• Find out when your children are most willing to talk. -For example, at bedtime, before meals, in the car... - and try to be receptive; they need to know that you want to listen to them.

• Start the conversationThis lets your children know that you are interested in what is going on in their lives. It is important to start by sharing your own ideas with them rather than starting with questions, which can be seen as an interrogation and cause them to shut down.

• Try to find a time each week to do one activity with each child separately, and avoid scheduling other tasks during that time.and avoid scheduling other tasks during that time. Sharing time with them individually will make them feel special and important to you, and will facilitate communication between you.

• Learn about their interests and likes and dislikes -for example, their favorite music group, their hobbies, their hobbies... - and show interest in them. Your children will appreciate it if you take their preferences into account. Also, if you have any hobbies you can share time doing it together.

2. Let your kids know you are listening to them

• When your children are talking about something important to them, stop whatever you're doing and just listen to them.. If they see you busy or disinterested, they will probably let it go and not come back to you in a similar case.

• Express interest in what they are explaining to you, avoiding being too intrusive.. They must feel that the interest you show is real and not something feigned to get information out of them.

• Listen to their point of view, even if you find it difficult to understand or don't fully share it.. Everyone has a different way of thinking, including your children, and that doesn't mean it's not just as valid as yours.

• Let them finish talking before you respond. Don't cut them off in the middle of an explanation, no one likes to be interrupted while they are talking.

• Repeat what you have just heard to make sure you have understood it correctly.. Communication is not always clear and simple, and many arguments between parents and children are generated by misunderstandings in conversations.

3. Respond in a way that your children will listen to you.

• Soften overreactionsYour children will tune you out if you appear angry or defensive. Although sometimes difficult to achieve, try to remain calm and speak to them in a neutral tone. Improving communication with your children also involves creating a context conducive to dialogue.

• Avoid arguing about who is right.. If everyone thinks only that he or she is right, neither of you will tend to listen to the other's reasons and you will not be able to reach a consensus. Instead say, "I know you don't agree with me, but that's what I think." Express your opinion without belittling your children's; accept that there is nothing wrong with disagreeing on something.

• Focus on your children's feelings rather than on yourself during the conversation.. Sometimes it can be difficult for them to express what they are feeling and they need you to empathize with them, to put yourself in their shoes and understand them.

Final tips to improve communication with your children

Finally, here are a few tips to improve and encourage communication between parents and children:

1. Ask your children what they want or what they need from you in a conversation.Ask your children what they want or need from you in a conversation: advice, simply to listen to them, to help them deal with their feelings, or to help them solve a problem.

2. Children learn by imitation. They will often follow in your footsteps in how you manage anger and rage, how you solve problems, and how you deal with complicated situations and feelings. Try to be the best version of yourself for them, become a role model in the face of difficulties.

3. Just talk to your childrenDon't give them a monologue, don't criticize, threaten or say hurtful things.

4. Children learn from their own decisions. Unless their actions could have dangerous consequences, don't feel you always have to intervene.

5. Be aware that your children may test you by telling you only a small part of what is bothering them.. Listen to them carefully and encourage them to keep talking so they can finish explaining the rest of the story.

6. When giving information, make sure it is given in a positive way.. It is also important to give consistent messages, avoid contradictions and express yourself clearly when asking for something, to avoid possible confusion that can end in conflicts.

7. Always try to obey the rule that "What is said, is done", or in other words, do not promise in vain.In other words, do not promise in vain; it is important to keep the promises you make to your children, otherwise it could affect the trust they place in you. For the same reason, you should also avoid lying.

8. Whenever possible, ask your children's opinion on issues that affect the family.. This will make them feel that they are part of the family unit and that their point of view is important to you.