Top 14 negotiation skills

Closing deals is not easy, so it pays to have the right skills for it.

We pass by a market and see an item we want to purchase. We meet with the boss to get him to give us the vacation days we want or to raise our salary. We set a limit on the time our children can come home. In all these situations we have specific objectives, which may or may not coincide with those of the other party involved. If this is not the case, we will need to negotiate with them.

But negotiating is not so easy; it requires a series of a series of negotiation skills that allow us to obtain a satisfactory result. In this article we will look at some of the main skills required for this.

What does negotiating consist of?

The term negotiate refers to the interaction carried out between two or more parties regarding a specific issue or aspect in which different positions are held, aiming with such interaction to to reach a desirable agreement for the different parties..

Although generally when we hear the word negotiate the first thing that comes to mind is the business world and commercial agreements, the and commercial agreements, the ability to negotiate is a key element in all areas of life. Obviously this includes business, but we also find it in academia or even at the interpersonal level. Strategies such as mediation, for example, are based on the idea of negotiating and finding a point that the people or entities involved in a conflict can accept.

We may not realize it, but we are continually negotiating with others.

Main skills needed to be a good negotiator

Negotiating is something we do constantly in our daily lives, but in order to do it successfully in a way that results in something satisfactory for both us and the other party it is necessary or at least advisable to have a good level in different negotiation skills. These are skills that we all have to a greater or lesser extent and that can be trained in different ways. and that can be trained in different ways. Some of the most relevant ones are listed below.

1. Self-awareness

One of the most important negotiation skills is self-knowledge. Although it may seem strange to be focused on oneself, we will be better negotiators the more we know ourselves. The fact is that self-knowledge allows us to be aware of our strengths and weaknesses, so that we can correct them or take into accountWe can then correct them or take into account which elements we can take advantage of and optimize in order to achieve a good interaction with the other party.

2. Self-management

Knowing oneself is an essential element, yes, but it is of very little use if it is not accompanied by the ability to self-manage and to modify those aspects that are problematic when interacting with the other person. It is a matter of being able to maintain a minimum of self-control, but without becoming a rigid and false behavior.

3. Empathy

To negotiate successfully we need to know ourselves. But it is also essential to be able to put ourselves in the other person's shoes, identify their needs and feelingswhat he or she wants from the interaction and his or her perspective on the situation. In this way we can understand what the other party expresses and value it from their point of view, as well as what is not said (something that also has to be taken into account and that in fact sometimes has more importance than what is directly expressed).

This is one of the most basic negotiation skills, which allows us to understand the other party and stimulate agreements that benefit both parties.

4. Active listening

In a negotiation we are having an interaction with the other person in which both parties have something to say. Although we must show and express our position, we must also take into account the other party's position and pay attention to both what they indicate verbally and what they do non-verbally. non-verbally, or even what he/she does not expressor even what it does not express or what it avoids.

5. Assertiveness

A fundamental skill to be able to negotiate successfully and that the result is profitable for us is assertiveness. It is the ability to be clear and defend one's own opinionsand desires without being aggressive, without trampling on the other person's opinion and respecting their interests.

This is the most favorable style for a valid and profitable negotiation for both parties. Showing only submission would generate that our demands and interests were undervalued, while aggressiveness (although in the business world it is sometimes used successfully) could generate reactance or even that although at the beginning one's own objectives are achieved, in the long run the relationship is damaged. Assertiveness ensures a respectful and sincere relationship while defending and sincere relationship while defending the negotiator's vision.

6. Argumentative and persuasive skills

Our objectives when negotiating may be many, but it will be difficult to achieve them if we do not know how to defend them. Being able to argue clearly the benefits and benefits and disadvantages of our position and make the other party see them, and even convince them of the need to change their point of view to ours or another that is more similar, is basic.

In persuasion, numerous techniques can also be used, which can serve to bring positions closer together. can be used to bring positions closer together and even that the other party ends up seeing the virtues of our point of view. However, persuading does not necessarily imply manipulating or dominating the other, the latter options being unethical and unbalancing the relationship.

7. Respect

Although we mentioned it as one of the negotiation skills, respect is actually an element that should be basic and predominant in any negotiation. should be basic and predominant in any human interaction.. We must value and validate the fact that other people may not want to negotiate, may not be interested in our point of view or even hold positions that are directly opposed to our own. This does not make them better or worse. It also allows us to maintain in most cases a positive climate that in the end facilitates positive interactions.

8. Openness and authenticity

Although many people resort to multiple tricks and gimmicks when negotiating, one of the elements that really works best is to be authentic, expressing what we want with conviction and always respecting the position of the other(s). Being sincere will help the other party to know exactly what is expected of him, as well as produce a cleaner and simpler relationship that will generally be better experienced by both parties.

9. Patience

Negotiating can be stressful and can vary widely in complexity. Sometimes there will be offers, threats or attempts on the part of the other person to gain an advantage that, if accepted out of impulsivity, may not be profitable. This is why patience is one of the most interesting negotiation skills, as it allows us to observe details and look for details.This is why patience is one of the most interesting negotiation skills, allowing us to observe details and seek a balance between what one or the other wants. However, patience should not be confused with immobility. Stagnation can lead to a loss of interest in the interaction.

10. Concreteness

Leaving things up in the air makes it much more difficult to to understand exactly what agreement is being reached.. It is better to be concrete and clearly state what you are trying to achieve. Obviously we are in a negotiation and we will end up agreeing on the terms, but setting diffuse limits makes the negotiation complicated and allows the other party to take the option that generates the least benefit for us.

11. Trust

It will be difficult to succeed in a negotiation if we doubt our chances of succeeding. It is not about being arrogantIt is not about being arrogant, but about recognizing and positively valuing our virtues and probability of success. The absence of confidence will generate difficulties to achieve the objectives and can lead to toxic relationships and/or dominance/submission. However, like the other negotiation skills mentioned above, it can be exercised.

12. Flexibility

A fundamental aspect when carrying out any negotiation is flexibility. If we want to negotiate, and not submit or impose our criteria, it will be necessary to conceive and accept the idea that both parties must find a beneficial agreement. In order to do so, we will have to we are going to have to give in on some thingsand so must the other party. It should also be borne in mind that there are other positions that are just as valid as one's own, as well as the possibility of modifying one's own position or adding aspects or elements from other positions.

13. Risk tolerance

Negotiating implies that one is looking for a position in which both parties can reach a consensus. This also implies that we are assuming a certain risk that our objective will not be achieved or that we will act in a way that is not the way we would normally act. We must be able to assume the risk.

14. Adaptability

Linked to the previous point, when negotiating it is very necessary to have the ability to adapt. We must be aware that times are changing and we are in a very fluid and dynamic society, in which interests and conditions stipulated by the environment can change very quickly. can change very quickly.