Violence in the home: raising healthy, nonviolent children

What can we do to foster values such as non-violence in our children?

We constantly ask ourselves: How can I eradicate violence in the home? eradicate violence in the home and at the same time foster a healthy development in my children? Every attempt will be in vain if you don't start with yourself. The family is the bastion where we can begin to instill values such as non-violence instill values such as non-violence and healthy and open communication to our children.

To learn more about domestic abuse: "The 30 signs of psychological abuse in a relationship".

Coping with violence in the home and homeschooling.

The first step is to identify the situations or practices that cause the build-up of stress y frustration. Parents are not machines. The constant demand for your attention and time tends to destabilize you emotionally and physically, not to mention that the current economic and work situation pushes everyone to the limits.

Disarticulating our work and/or academic life from our home life is a difficult task, yet it is necessary. We should not impute to our children or partner our worries and duties of that which belongs outside the home. Try to detach yourself from your work or school worries once you are away from work or school, if it is necessary for you to spend more time on some matter, find a time that you can dedicate exclusively to the activity and be sure to communicate this to your family and ask for their support.Remember that your professional and personal growth is also their growth.

Once this is done, here are some suggestions that can help in the development of a healthy and harmonious coexistence healthy and harmonious coexistence.

Establish and enforce rules of respect at home.

In the previous article it was established that the family is the social nucleus of every society, and what is a society without rules? If necessary, write them down, so that all family members are familiar with the rules, it is important that the child understands the relationship between internal and external rules, and make explicit the consequences of not following them. In the house rules, be sure to decisively prohibit the use of insults, blows or threats among the members of your family.

In the article on bullying we stated some types of violence, so remember that all types of violence, whether verbal, physical or of the third type, is a transgression against the whole family, because it results in a triggering of various actions and reactions, in addition to the fact that it does not recognize the value of each member.

Promotes assertive communication

The assertive communication is the ability to express positive and negative ideas and feelings in an open, honest and direct manner. When talking to your children, do you ever feel that they only tell you what you want to hear? Do your children have difficulty expressing their feelings and opinions? Do you really know how to listen to them?

Open and assertive communication not only prevents adverse situations, it also provides the space to resolve conflicts without violence.

At this point I think it is important to comment that I am part of the generation in which a spanking was not violence, it was correction, that is why I must make it clear that sometimes, when attempts to resolve conflicts through dialogue do not seem to be enough and we need to go to the next step, it is necessary to know that not all reprimands are violent in nature, it is only important to know when and how to discipline children.

Avoid reprimanding your child with a hot head, make sure that the reprimand is of the same "caliber" as the offense committed. The child must learn that to every negative action there is a directly proportional reactionwhether at home or in society. At the same time I also want to comment that a vital part of parenting is to trust your instinct, not to follow fashions or trends just because of what people will say.

Planning

As a family, it is important to live together and spread out in a healthy manner. Sharing collaborative activities instead of competitive ones, integrating and getting to know each other's likes and dislikes is fundamental. Look for plan a time each day when this happens. Organize your schedule, he who seeks finds, even if it takes only 5 minutes. Quality is worth more than quantity.

Wake up and smell the coffee.

As cruel as it may sound, it is better to "die knowing" than to "live deceived".. Often we don't enjoy our reality because we live longing for the perfect family. Avoid disappointment and remember the following: No matter what you see on social media, young children have a lot of energy and don't care what adults want from them, siblings will fight. Period. From time to time, some more than others, it's normal, it's part of living together. Pre-teens and teenagers don't even talk about it, remember when you were their age?

Enjoy those moments, which sometimes are scarce, of family togetherness. Abandon your preconceived fantasies, accept the characteristics of the age of each of your children and...

Accept mistakes and defects

No one is perfect, no one is born knowing. The house where being wrong is condemned is fertile ground for domestic violence. Within the family, a routine should be established a routine for asking for and granting forgiveness forgiveness, and practice it frequently.

Be the example, encourage in your children generosity and tolerance with others, allowing them to learn to grow through mistakes. Teach them not to trip over the same stone.

Promote values

The family is undoubtedly the ideal nucleus to promote values from an early age and to project in each of its members a way of life that is healthy and transmissible among the individuals that compose it as well as in society. The values are observable as each member responsibly assumes the role that corresponds to him/her, seeking the well-being and integral development of the other members.

Why is it necessary to promote rights at home?

Your children should know their rights and know that they deserve respect, they should never tolerate violence without denouncing it. Teach them to take care of themselves and to protect themselves from abuse by being assertive in their personal relationships.. Review together the importance of each of their rights. rights and obligations.

The home is the laboratory where they practice healthy relationships, and where your example is substantial for them to assimilate their value. Let's remember the analysis of violence from the mimetic theory, if your children see you suffering from a violent relationship or violating your partner in their presence, it will be difficult for them to learn to recognize or live a healthy relationship in the future.

Control the influx of environmental violence from the media.

Violence enters your home with your permission. Analyze what the media your children have access to are promoting. Don't let everyday life and visual culture determine the development of your children's value system and behavioral formation. Don't let the media be responsible for educating your children..

Continuous exposure to violent images makes us vulnerable and allows us to gradually admit the unacceptable as normal. Being exposed to violence from an early age has a negative effect on a child's development.

Don't keep silent, report violence

You have already established the rules, and you have taught your children to assert their rights, now it is important to point out violent acts and attitudes, and to publicly reprove them. Encourage your children to denounce violenceThe trust they place in you is essential for you to help them detect when their integrity is at risk, they can be victims of harassment even within their own home.

Violence will stop when you decide to speak up.