What to do if my child doesn’t respect me? 7 tips

Knowing how to assert yourself in the face of a child's failure to comply with rules is complicated.

Getting a child to start respecting his or her parents is not always easy. It is not usually a relational dynamic that appears spontaneously simply because of a direct family relationship. In most cases, it is necessary to work proactively to generate this healthy bond between parents and children.

In this article we will look at some key ideas on what to do so that a child respects his or her parents.. Knowing how to solve this type of conflict in the most constructive way possible and without aggravating the situation is fundamental.

My child does not respect me: what to do?

Each family and paternal or maternal bond with a child is different. Particular problems require particular solutions, thought out after being tailored to the specific case. This makes many adults feel disoriented in many issues related to parenting, and the management of authority in front of children is something that often gives headaches.

In particular, there is a pattern that is repeated many times: I want to have a healthy and loving relationship with the little one in the house, but he doesn't make it easy for me and breaks the rules.... what to do if my child does not respect me?

Fortunately, although each case is unique, there are general aspects that can guide us when it comes to managing the upbringing of children. Below we will see some very useful tips to solve the kind of parenting problems arising from a lack of respect for those who want the best for their children.

1. Establish lines not to cross

It is important to be very clear about which behaviors are totally unacceptable and to differentiate them from others that are simply undesirable but of lesser importance. These ideas will be the main structure on which on which our management of our son's or daughter's disrespectful behavior should be built..

It is very important, therefore, to establish from the beginning what is not going to be tolerated in any way and whose non-compliance will require compensatory actions on the part of the child. It is also crucial to act consistently and not to show inconsistencies when applying these rules of respect. Weeks of work can fall apart if a few exceptions appear, as it clearly shows that in practice there are no such red lines.

2. Listen to each other

Once you have done the above, it is very important that you talk about the problem that exists. You should express your concerns and why you are upset when your son or daughter disrespects you, and he or she should have the opportunity to talk about needs of his or her own that he or she feels are being overlooked. In this way it is possible to come to agreements that both parties value and therefore are not seen as an imposition.

3. When something is breached, demand compensatory behavior.

This should not be seen as a way of getting even, and it is important that the child does not perceive it that way either. Having talked about your point of view, it is easier to justify why you are asking for compensation for the discomfort caused, but you still need to explain again why in this case it is necessary to make a sacrifice and rebuild mutual respect.

This compensation should always include an apology, and sometimes this will not be enough. Of course, physical punishment should not be considered as an option.. They should simply be tasks that require an effort proportional to the damage caused, even if it is a symbolic type of compensation.

4. Immediately enforce the rules

The moment a rule is broken, it is important to demand compensatory behavior, it is important to demand compensatory behavior immediately, not to wait for a context in which the rule is not respected.not wait for a context in which it is more comfortable. That way, the association between the infraction and the compensation is more direct and evident, and the experience is memorized as a whole.

5. Set an example

This is a point that many parents forget, because it puts them in a compromise. However, it is worth remembering that among the sacrifices involved in parenthood is that of setting an example. It is not only so that our children learn by imitation and do not cause us problems: besides that, it is a right of the little ones to have references of adequate behavior in their fathers or mothers, so that it is not difficult for them to adapt to society and coexist with others. so that it is not difficult for them to adapt to society and to coexist with others..

6. Avoid framing the restriction of freedoms as a renunciation of pleasure.

It is important to always show that family rules are indeed a limitation of individual freedom, but they are also a way to expand collective freedoms. By following reasonable rules, it is possible to have friends and allies, to trust each other, and in general to show love for each other.

Thus, following rules is not a necessity because it deprives us of pleasurable situations or because impersonal and cold treatment is desirable, but because it in fact allows our relationships to be of better quality and, in general, that we enjoy life better in each other's company.

7. Show your humanity

Disrespect, no matter how much it comes from small children, hurts. It is good to show that discomfort so that your son or daughter also faces that part of the consequences of his or her behavior.