What to do when your partner leaves you? 7 psychological keys

A series of psychological guidelines to face this bad moment.

Although love is one of the most incredible experiences that people can have, falling out of love is undoubtedly a traumatic experience that can affect our mind and our behavior, falling out of love is, without a doubt, a traumatic experience that can affect our mind and our behavior.. In fact, grieving is a process that takes place after a loss, whether it is the loss of a loved one who passes away, a job or a relationship breakup.

The disaffection is a necessary and painful process that, in spite of being universal, each person lives it in its own way.

What to do when your partner leaves you

Especially if we have been left, this process can be a complicated experience to live and can be a great challenge, because our self-esteem can suffer the consequences and the Pain can be difficult to handle. And although at the beginning of the breakup it often seems that this suffering will never end, our brain is a flexible organ, with the capacity to reorganize itself and adapt to the environment. With time it is possible to rebuild our lives, to move on and, ultimately, to regain wellbeing and be happy again..

If you find yourself in this situation and you feel identified with what you have just read, in this article we have prepared a series of tips to help you overcome the breakup, especially if you have been dumped. So that you can face this stage of your life in the best way.

1. Accept the situation

The first step to overcome a breakup is to accept the situation, otherwise, it will not be possible to move on or regain well-being. Acceptance is key to any process of change and non-acceptance acts as a barrier between us and our happiness.

Accepting this situation is not easy, but it is necessary for us to find ourselves again and become empowered in the face of life. If we do not do so, anger will invade us and resentment will not let us move forward. This is not to say that we cannot experience some negative emotions such as frustration; however, we must adopt a compassionate mindset towards ourselves and what has happened to us. In this sense, will and time must do their job.

Acceptance often comes from an understanding of the facts.Understanding that this phenomenon is painful and part of life also helps to look to the future and not get stuck in the past. Understanding that love is not a linear process but that there can be relapses can help us to overcome the most difficult moments when we have been left.

• Acceptance comes after overcoming a series of stages. In our article "The 5 phases to overcome the grief of a breakup" we explain them to you.

2. Focus on yourself

One of the main problems that we can suffer when we get dumped is not focusing on ourselves.. Many times, when we are in a couple, we get used to being with someone and we can suffer a certain degree of emotional dependence. Being single is a great opportunity to spend time for ourselves, to strive for our personal development and for what will really make us feel good.

When you get in tune with yourself and fight for your desires and concerns, you improve your mental well-being and emotional balance. This helps to improve self-esteem and to choose a partner in freedom, not on the basis of an inner emptiness that we do not know how to cover in any other way. Although it is not easy to recognize, many people do not know how to be alone and seek to fill the emptiness they feel with someone else, without stopping to correct their own mistakes or strengthen their self-esteem, affected after the breakup.

3. Surround yourself with friends and avoid isolating yourself

When the relationship ends, the daily routine and sharing a large part of our life with that person will change.. Habituation to their affection and letting go of those intimate moments is usually the hardest thing to overcome. In these moments of loneliness, is when we should surround ourselves with friends and loved ones.

Relationships are essential to our happiness, especially in these hard times. If we are in company, we will make more plans, share our thoughts with others, have more fun, meet new people and, ultimately, feel better.

4. Stay active and distracted

In addition to surrounding yourself with friends, it is good that you have plans and goals, and that you do the activities that make you feel good, which will allow you to release some neurochemicals related to pleasure and happiness (endorphins, serotonin, etc.) and will make you have fun moments.

Practicing physical exercise, studying what you like or going to the movies will help you not to fall into sadness and inactivity, which can anchor you in your negative thoughts and suffering.

5. Do not blame yourself

We have all gone through this at some point in our lives, but no one dies of heartbreak.. While it is true that when our partner leaves us, it can make us feel guilty for how the relationship has gone, in reality, couples are formed by two people and, generally, when they break up, both are partly to blame. You may have made a mistake at some point, but you are human and must accept it as part of life. After all, no one is perfect.

6. Abandon the role of victim

Now, just because you don't blame yourself doesn't mean you should adopt the role of victim.. In fact, it is not a good thing to feel sorry for yourself and adopt this role, because blaming the other person for what happened is not the solution either. In these cases, there is only one way to regain well-being, and that is to get hooked back into life and connect with your own needs and desires, that is, to fight for your own personal development.

7. Go to psychological therapy

Sometimes, some people may have serious difficulties to overcome the breakup of a couple because, after the breakup, one of the partners may still be in love. In these cases, sadness and anxiety may be some of the symptoms that manifest themselves, along with others such as lack of appetite, weight loss, lack of motivation and isolation, changes in sleep patterns and the inability to enjoy things that were considered pleasurable, among others.

Although in the initial stages of the breakup these symptoms may be normal, they are not normal if they are prolonged over time. If after the first few weeks the person is unable to rebuild his or her life and overcome the heartbreak, he or she may need professional help to learn the tools to help him or her overcome the breakup. professional help to learn tools that will help him/her to overcome the bad moment he/she is going through, to stop the obsessions, learn social skills to meet new people and, in short, regain wellbeing and happiness.

The psychotherapy process applied to these cases allows progress in many different aspects, such as:

• Enhance Emotional Intelligence to find the true causes of the discomfort felt.
• To develop habits that enhance emotional balance.
• To facilitate an interpretation of the facts that is not biased towards pessimism.
• To learn from mistakes thanks to the capacity to face what happened without denying uncomfortable aspects of the relationship.
• To combat the psychological rumination centered on the memories of the breakup.