When our partner is an emotional psychopath: how to detect and deal with it

Some relationships are based on emotional manipulation disguised as love.

I often receive in consultation patients with the problem of being in a relationship with someone with a tendency to psychopathy. This emotional bond causes symptoms of depression or anxiety.

In this article I will explain how to recognize a partner who hurts us more than he/she gives us and who is causing us great suffering.

How to recognize an emotional psychopath?

There are different areas in which we can find this profile of people who pull us making us feel bad, demanding our attention and above all making us think at times that we are necessary in their life (but only until it suits them).

We must not forget that this type of people can be found in any field, whether at work or in the field of emotions.We must be clear that if we do not know how to manage this kind of relationships and detect the problems associated with them, they will do us a lot of harm.

How to recognize the emotional psychopath? This question is interesting, since in many occasions they will be seen coming from afar and in others it will be difficult to blame them for this circumstance. We must be clear that we are in front of people who are experts in being liked and in connecting with us when it is convenient for them.. Do not forget that they always have some points of convenience to make us like them. They start being great lovers, we connect a lot in bed, they have great details?

To make it clear to you, I have written here a series of warning signs (red flags) with which to identify these aspects that define them.

1. They are unable to admit fault or acknowledge your point of view.

These people believe they are beings of light, possess the absolute truth, and if it has gone wrong, they assume it was your fault. What they are looking for is to make you feel bad, to portray you as the cause of these problems and make you feel that you have to fix the situation. This vitiates the situation and makes you feel compromised because of the guilt.

2. Gaslighting

This is a form of emotional abuse. This is a phenomenon by which our other person makes us believe that we live wrong and that many of the things he/she has done and we blame on him/her are lies, a failure of our perception or understanding, so that in the end we suffer a tremendous manipulation and self-esteem problems on his/her part, which will make us depend even more on the other person.

3. It hurts you or others

Even if he doesn't totally reject you, he is constantly hurting you emotionally, taking steps to make sure you are always there. He may even have other relationships behind the one you have with this person, although he likes to have you there for when things go wrong. he likes to have you there for when things go wrong for him. People with this profile always keep a point of mystery; they hide their cell phone with you, they do not follow you on social networks, etc.

4. Isolates you from others

He/she asks you to be his/her own property is a person who wants to have you for himself, and thus gain more control. This will also mean limiting your contact with others and thus making you feel (falsely) that you need him/her.

How to deal with emotional psychopaths

Now that you know how to recognize a person with these characteristics, it is important to know how to deal with this type of person. Therefore, here are a series of tricks that I believe will be useful.

1. Never ignore the warning signs

You must pay attention to the warning signs (associated with your discomfort and an asymmetry of power in the relationship) in order to avoid having a person by your side who is going to cause you a lot of suffering.

2. Do not let him/her manipulate you

It is important to know that these people seek to take advantage of your emotional weaknesses in order to be able to shape you in a way that will molding you in a way that they like.. They will try to have you at their fingertips and, the moment you rebel against them, they will throw all their fury on you, making you feel bad. Why? Because they realize that they are losing someone to manipulate, and their ego will be damaged.

3. Don't let him isolate you

Have you ever noticed when you go to meet up with friends and he/she doesn't like it? Does he/she propose some plan so that you don't meet up with them and thus your friendship bonds deteriorate? Well, that's when you notice that he/she is putting isolation into practice in a discreet way.

Can I help you?

It is important to ask for professional help in these cases that generate great anguish. Sometimes we are so immersed in a relationship with someone like that, having created a great emotional dependence, it is very difficult for us to overcome this situation and we need a little push. and we need a little push.

My name is Javier Ares and I am a psychologist specializing in anxiety problems, depression and couples. In this case I have decided to talk to you about this issue, since many patients who come to me with anxiety or depression have in common to be suffering this type of abuse by their partners. Do not hesitate to contact me to start working on you.