Why do I feel like crying? Causes, and what to do

The urge to cry can appear even for no apparent reason. We explain why it happens.

Crying. We have all cried at one time or another, both as children and as adults. Something happens that causes a certain inner tension to arise, our eyes get wet, fill with tears and we finally burst into tears.

And although for many it is something uncomfortable and often hidden at a social level, the truth is that we are facing an act that is very healthy and useful for our well-being. But why do we cry? What can make us want to cry? Why do we sometimes cry for no reason? Let's see it throughout this article.

• Related article, "What is crying for?"

Crying and the urge to cry: what happens?

Crying is a complex process, which is part of a physiological mechanism that we have innately, and although it is often considered unique to humans, it is also shared with other animals. However, the fact of crying due to emotional causes is more complex than it may seem, since throughout our lives we haveWe learn to cry throughout our lives as a mechanism to release emotional tension: crying out of grief, joy or anger are examples.

Although sometimes tears come out of nowhere, as a general rule when we are in front of a cry that arises from emotion the person has previously noticed a sensation generally described as choking or occlusion in the chest or esophagus, as well as breathing difficulties (there may also be sobbing). In other words, it is not uncommon to notice that we feel like crying.

The brain plays a key role in this process, which begins to develop at the attentional level. At this moment, the brain stem, cerebellum and various cranial nerves (III, IV, V and VII) are activated. Subsequently, the ascending reticular formation (which controls brain activation) is activated to a great extent, something that corresponds to the increase in tension and energy felt just before bursting into tears. This is followed by activation of the amygdala, hypothalamus, insula, cingulate and prefrontal cortex, so that the emotion and cognition behind the discomfort is added to this energy.

Functions of crying

As annoying and long-suffering as it may be, crying has an important role in our psyche, and it is one that is beneficial to us.Research shows that in a large number of cases crying leads us to alleviate our emotional state, allowing us to express our emotions and release the energy that comes from states of tension and deep sadness. They serve to reduce the increased energy level generated by intense emotions such as sadness or anger, so that the body relaxes and returns to a more calm and tranquil state.

Tears, when they are emotional, have a composition that also favors emotional release. Specifically, they help to eliminate manganese, prolactin and potassium chloride, as well as endorphins and analgesic substances. Substances that can be stressful are therefore expelled, while others that help to combat Pain and suffering are released.

In addition to this, it has a function related to socialization: although not always, crying usually provokes empathy from the group, so that the person who cries often receives support and support when perceived as needy or vulnerable. It also tends to reduce the aggressiveness and hostility of other people, as well as decreasing sexual desire towards them.

Other types of tears, such as basal tears, serve simply to clean and lubricate the eye.. This is necessary and natural. And they also cleanse the eye of irritants and even some bacteria.

Some of the main reasons why we cry

As we already know, for better or worse, there are many reasons that can make us want to cry. Among them we can find both emotional and physical elements.

We will now take a look at some of the reasons, mainly those of psychic origin.

1. Traumatic events and/or stressful life events

One of the main causes of the urge to cry, and probably the best known of all, is the following the fact of having suffered some type of traumatic or painful event..

The death of a family member or loved one, a breakup, a layoff, bankruptcy or even minor problems that can also cause emotional suffering such as an argument or failure to achieve a cherished goal or objective.

2. Physical pain

Often we also cry when we suffer some kind of injury, blow, break, sprain?. Physical pain is one of the causes that can make us cry.

However, tears of this type usually follow a different process and even their chemical composition is different.

3. Depression

Another possible cause that can make us want to cry, even without knowing consciously exactly why, is the existence of a depressive episode (whether in a major depression, bipolar disorder or other circumstances).

In this case a sad mood is maintained and there is a perceived inability to feel pleasure, sleep or eating problems, hopelessness or even despair. In this state it is not uncommon to cry, although it is also possible that despite having the desire to cry the subject is not able to do so.

4. Anxiety and stress

Anxiety and stress are other factors that can bring us to the verge of tears. In this case, we find ourselves in a situation where we feel overwhelmed by environmental or social demands.

We believe that we do not have enough resources to cope with what is being asked or happening to us, and we are overcome with anguish. Our energetic and emotional tone rises, and our body may resort to tears for relief.

5. Anger and/or sense of injustice

Like anxiety and stress, anger can also be a reason for the urge to cry..

After all, more than one person will have cried with rage. The cause is the same as the one we observed in the previous point: we may find ourselves in a situation that we consider unfair and before which we do not see ourselves capable of doing anything.

6. Empathy

In addition to the previous ones it is necessary to emphasize that another reason why we may feel like crying is the identification of suffering and pain in other people. It is possible that we feel like crying when we see another person crying or having a bad time. This is influenced by the so-called mirror neurons, which allow us to capture the emotional reactions of others and even reproduce them.

This situation does not only occur when we observe another person suffering, but can also appear when we visualize situations that we would consider sad if we were ourselves, or when we see them in movies or novels.

7. Capture of beauty

Although it may not be as common as the previous ones, some people may cry with emotion when they see certain works of art, be they novels, paintings, sculptures, constructions or films..

In this case the reason for the tears is the emotion derived from capturing something that we consider beautiful, although it does not generate sadness per se. This is what happens to people who suffer from Stendhal syndrome.

Why do we cry for joy?

So far we have talked about why the urge to cry can appear and we have seen that we mostly do it as an emotional outlet or in response to some aversive or painful event.

However, as many of you have probably already wondered, sometimes we also feel like crying when we want to cry, sometimes we also feel like crying when positive things happen: sometimes we cry out of joy... why does this happen?Why does this happen?

Finding the answer to this question is more complicated than it seems but, according to some research, the reason could be that the body itself tries to self-regulate after having been activated by joy or other positive emotions: it tries to return to a base state through a reaction that reduces the surge of energy that the emotion provokes. It is therefore, as happens when we cry with anger, a way of regaining equilibrium at the level of the body. a way to regain balance at the emotional and energetic level..

I feel like crying... but I can't.

It is possible that it happens to some people that they feel like crying or even want to cry but are unable to do so. There are many possible causes for this, ranging from brain injuries and diseases of different types (e.g. some autoimmune diseases) to a much more common one: the existence of an emotional blockage.

First of all, it should be noted that there is no hurry: each person processes things at his or her own pace, and the fact that tears do not come when they should theoretically come should be respected.

Emotional blockage

On the other hand, if the impossibility to cry is absolute and remains in the time, it is possible that the causes are in front of an emotional blockade. Emotional blocks are produced before events or situations that generate great anxiety and suffering, and that appear unconsciously as a defense mechanism to protect oneself from such pain.

However, this block prevents or makes it difficult to work and process what happened. These blockages can occur in a normative way, but also in processes such as depression or post-traumatic stress disorders.

The advisable thing to do in these cases is first of all to give oneself some time (some situations need time to begin to be accepted as real, as in cases of grief), and then if the person wants to try to work little by little on aspects related to the cause of the blockage. If necessary, first tangentially, to gradually approach the event itself and try to relive and reprocess the situation so that we can get to process it.

The weight of culture

Likewise, and especially in the case of men, crying has traditionally been seen as a sign of weakness, something shameful, something embarrassing.. This makes it difficult to express crying in public. But it should be kept in mind that in fact crying in public implies acknowledging the existence of a moment of vulnerability, something that on the other hand may also imply a certain courage.

Bibliographical references:

• Miceli, M., & Castelfranchi, C. (2003). Crying: discussing its basic reasons and uses. New Ideas in Psychology, 21(3).
• On the origin of crying and tears. Human Ethology Newsletter. 1989 June; 5(10):5-6.
• Triglia, Adrian; Regader, Bertrand; Garcia-Allen, Jonathan (2016). Psychologically speaking. Paidós.
• Vidales, Ismael (2004). Psicología general. Mexico: Limusa.