Why do I find it hard to relate to people? Causes, and what to do

What can cause problems socializing with other people?

Interpersonal relationships are partly related to one's attitude; some people may find it easier than others to relate appropriately to others within the framework of social norms. This responds to the individual differences that exist between one person and another.

For this reason, it is relatively frequent that the question arises: "why do I find it hard to relate to people?". In this article we will look at what factors may be behind these kinds of social difficulties, and what can be done about them.

Why do I have a hard time relating to people? Possible reasons

The causes can be varied, and are mixed between the personality characteristics of the subject and the social environment in which he/she has been developing since childhood. To answer the question "why do I find it difficult to relate to people?" it is necessary to understand both causes.

For example, a child who has a tendency to extroversion but develops in an environment in which an environment where excessive composure is predominantwill grow up as an inhibited child, and will most likely have difficulty relating to others in adulthood.

The same occurs in the opposite case, when children are introverted and the significant people in their environment try to force them to relate to others in an arbitrary manner.. The child will grow up remembering aversive experiences linked to social relationships, and then in his adult life it will be more difficult for him to achieve meaningful and lasting relationships.

It can be said then that difficulties in social relationships depend largely on how these two factors (environment and nature) are balanced, so that the subject develops and grows with a good self-esteem, and also knows how to recognize and manage their personality characteristics. In this way, personal factors such as extroversion and introversion can be prevented from playing against each other when establishing and maintaining social relationships with others.

Ideally, people should acquire the necessary skills to moderate their personality characteristics within the framework of social norms, without this affecting their natural development in any way.

Factors affecting social relationships

Next we will see the factors that affect the psychosocial development of people.

Natural factors

The natural factors that influence social difficulties are all those that come from the subject's genetic predispositions. all those that come from the genetic predispositions of the subject.. Depending on the family history, they could be hereditary, although in many of them the learning history also has a strong influence. These are some of the most common:

• Autism spectrum disorders.
• Depression.
• Some addictions (alcoholism, pathological gambling, etc.).
• Thyroid gland diseases.
• Propensity to stress.
• Antisocial personality disorder.
• Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
• Social phobia.
• Anxiety.
• Agoraphobia (irrational fear of open spaces).

All these are just propensities whose negative social impact we can overcome if we modify our habits, as we will see.

2. Social factors

Social factors, which are mainly learned, have a high impact on the social relationships we are able to establish. Let's see how our environment can influence can influence this aspect of life:

• Dysfunctional family environment.
• Child abuse.
• Very permissive parenting styles.
• Authoritarian parenting styles.
• Child neglect.
• Separation from parents.
• Severe trauma.
• Pathological grief processes.
• Reduced social circle.
• Influence of negative groups.

It should be taken into account that the presence of the factors seen above only represent a higher probability of presenting problems in social relationships, but they are not absolutely determinant. are not absolutely determinant. That is why they are known as risk factors.

How to avoid difficulties in relating to people?

In the same way that there are risk factors that can lead to difficulties in interpersonal relationships, there are also ways in which you can avoid these types of limitations. there are ways in which you can avoid these types of limitations.. These are the following

1. Be selective with respect to the social group

The fact that you do not relate well with a social group does not imply that it should be so with everything. does not imply that you have to be that way with everyone.Keep in mind that it is not worth forcing interaction. If you notice that in order to fit in with a group you have to move too far away from who you really are, then maybe it's time to stop fitting in.

2. Set goals

Goals help us to overcome our social limitations little by little; it's all about climbing our social ladder.The goal is to scale our fears in a controlled manner. For example, if we are anxious about talking to people, we set a daily goal of initiating at least 3 conversations a day.

Doing this will allow us to overcome our insecurities, and the time will come when we will be able to do it naturally.The time will come when we will be able to do it in a natural way. These goals should have a deadline, so that we can measure how we have done in the course of time.

3. Share experiences

Dare to share personal experiences with people close to you. It's okay if you occasionally comment on things that make you feel vulnerable. Contrary to what many believe, being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness in all contexts.

If you are able to open up about negative experiences to others, they will feel more trusting of you, and the interaction can become more meaningful for everyone in the group. Keep in mind, however, that they must be people you trust.

4. Go to therapy

A resource that is rarely used by people is psychological therapyprobably because of the stereotypes that still exist towards the figure of these sessions. But the reality is that going to therapy can clarify the picture regarding what is limiting you socially, and will serve to raise plans to "release" to relate better with others.