Why does love end in a relationship?
The main reasons why the love bond can unravel.
Falling in love is always something mysterious, since it appears as a deeply irrational and emotionally based phenomenon. It appears suddenly, often without our having been able to foresee it, and it changes everything: both how we behave and the way we perceive what happens to us.
But something as strange as the desire to form a couple is the end of this affective impulse. It is not easy to give an answer as to why love ends.Since it is a phenomenon based on emotions, it is not based on ideas or beliefs, something static and relatively easy to study, but on a combination of unpredictable neuronal activity, hormones, and interaction with the environment and those who inhabit it.
However, it is possible to identify different elements that influence the chances of love ending. We are going to talk about them in this article.
Why does love end?
Love is one of the human dimensions that have generated more interest over the centuries, inspiring all kinds of research and explanatory proposals in both the arts and the sciences. It is not for less, since it can become one of the main sources of motivation and meaning in our lives..
Naturally, many of these questions focus on how falling in love comes about, that phase of life when we seem to stop being us and start thinking about something bigger than ourselves, our partner. However, it is also important to ask about what makes love end. In a way, seeing what can weaken or even kill that love bond tells us, in retrospect, what the true nature of those feelings was.
Now, love is a complex phenomenon because there are an almost limitless number of situations that lead to it.. The state of not falling in love is the default state, the one we have all been in, so in practice, almost any context in which one lives relatively well is likely to give rise to love. However, once falling in love has occurred, it is easier to identify root causes of the end of love'. Let's see what they are.
1. It was only infatuation
Strangely enough, love and infatuation are not the same thing. The second is a much more punctual phenomenon, of short duration, which usually does not last more than a few days. usually does not last more than a few months, between four and six months, while love lasts longer than a few months.while love lasts much longer.
The fundamental difference between the two is that infatuation is based on a certain tension based on the uncertainty about what will happen with the other person and, in general, the lack of knowledge about what he or she is like. In practice, this means that we idealize the person.
Thus, it is relatively common that when the infatuation fades, and with it goes the idealization, there is no love left.is gone, there is no love left. In these cases the relationship was probably based on the expectation of having a relationship with an idealized version of the lover.
2. Poor living conditions
The idea that love can do everything is a myth. Love, like any psychological phenomenon, is linked to the context, and if the situation in which we live is not conducive, the love bond will weaken.
One of the clearest examples of this has to do with harsh working conditions. If you have to work long hours and invest a lot of effort in it, it will be more difficult to devote time to your partner.If you have to work long hours and invest a lot of effort in it, it will be more difficult to devote time to your partner, and this will generate a clear wear and tear that, in the long run, can end the relationship.
3. Monotony
Love always entails significant sacrifices, such as having less time for oneself, investing in common expenses, or exposing oneself more to conflict situations.
This wear and tear, which is guaranteed, can be combined with a feeling of monotony that, in the case of life as a couple, is more noticeable, because when living with another person there are fewer excuses to be experiencing the same thing every day, the same habits, the same routines. It should be a lifestyle where opportunities arise to do new things together, but this doesn't always happen.but this does not always happen, and that frustrates a lot.
Living in a single life, monotony can be seen as something over which one has more control, but if it appears in the context of a romantic relationship, the feeling that nothing is going to improve and that boredom is part of the "contract" that unites these two people becomes very clear. Expectations of change for the better lose strengthand with them can also go the illusion for the couple's relationship.
4. Communication problems
Living together as a couple makes it very easy to turn communication problems into serious problems that end up becoming chronic. serious problems that end up becoming chronic.. If important misunderstandings are generated and these are not managed in the correct way, a state of suspicion and paranoia can be fed that goes totally against the logic of what should be a fluid and functional affective relationship.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)