Why you should stop always seeking the approval of others.

8 reasons why you should move away from this obsession with what others think of you.

Human nature drives us to satisfy our desire to belong to a social group. Whether it's our family, group of friends, at work, we tend to do things to feel like we belong. to feel that we belong to a group and thus feel safe and secure..

Having this need is normal. That we take certain attitudes or customs to strengthen ties is fine. But sometimes this attitude becomes extreme and we begin to feel that we continually need the approval of others to do things, or make decisions or be this or that way. This extreme need is unhealthy and cancels us out as individuals.

Let's review some reasons why it is not good to always seek the approval of others.

Why it's not good to always seek the approval of others.

Here are some reasons why it is harmful to always be concerned about what others think of us.

1. It makes us anxious

When we feel constantly judged and this affects us, we then seek the approval of others to eliminate that negative judgment; however, even when we get approval, we don't let go of the perception that we have of ourselves, However, even when we get approval, we do not let go of the perception that others are criticizing us and we constantly go back to seeking approval. and we constantly go back to seeking approval.

This vicious cycle generates anxiety. We find ourselves in constant stress until we feel that we never have satisfied others and far from stopping trying, we become more concerned with seeking social approval.

2. We lose freedom

Our decisions cease to be our own and become to become the decision of others about us. This is a loss of freedom, because we are not exercising our decision-making capacity, which is the result of the inner voice that tells us what we want to do and where to go, to give way to the external voice that tells us where to go.

If we are guided only by the opinion of others about our life, we will be allowing all the limiting barriers of society to impose themselves on us, and we will stop acting in freedom.

3. We feel exhausted

Living with the constant tension of doing things according to the wishes of others is very exhausting.

Mentally It is very tiring to be thinking about what others will think if we act in such a way, and very devastating when what we are doing is what we want.It is very devastating when what we do is not approved by others and that affects us greatly. This ends up manifesting itself physically and we begin to feel exhaustion, which translates into heaviness in the back and lack of energy to do everyday things.

4. Our self-confidence decreases

When we make decisions and they turn out to be favorable, we gain self-confidence. If these decisions do not turn out as we had hoped, this security is diminished, but If these decisions do not turn out as expected, this self-confidence is eroded, but taking the consequences of a bad decision allows us to regain confidence and try again..

This helps us to acquire self-confidence and self-sufficiency allowing us to go through life with greater security. Needing the constant approval of others makes us feel that we could not do anything without the affirmation of others, and that our achievements are not the result of our effort or good performance; but from the outside.

5. We forget our needs

To make a decision we must consider, among other things, our desires and needs. But if we are seeking the approval of others, we forget that and give way to the tastes and desires of others, we forget that and give way to the tastes and desires of others..

This causes us that when faced with a decision we have to make, rather than thinking about what might work well for us, we give others the power of decision and at this point we have already forgotten what our needs were.

6. We stop understanding that there are different ways of looking at life.

We become what we do not like, and we stop understanding that there is a difference of opinions and we feel that the others; those who make decisions outside what the group dictates, are wrong and we distrust them and judge them.

Thinking that we must decide based on the approval of others results in losing the losing sight of the breadth of visions and opinions that exist about a fact or a that exist about an event or about life itself.

7. We feel we are the center of the universe

When we seek the approval of others it is because we feel that our life decisions are in the eye of everyone and will be judged and approved or disapproved. This is because we believe that everyone is looking out for us and reviewing our every step.

Feeling this way generates so much anxiety, that we prefer to ask the opinion of others continually than to feel that everyone around us is judging our decisions.

8. We lose authenticity

Showing ourselves to others as we are becomes impossible. We hide our opinions and feelings. We even go so far as to dress differently than we would like to, or we say that we are adapting because we are in constant need of approval from others. we are in constant need of others' approval.. With this attitude, we stop being authentic. We get lost in the sea of others' opinions and no longer know who we really are.

To stop being ourselves is undoubtedly one of the most powerful reasons why we should not constantly seek the approval of others.

How to stop thinking about the opinion of others?

To learn how to put into practice the habit of not giving the opinion of others more importance than it has, you can read this article: "Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you".

Bibliographical references:

• Milazzo, L. (1999). Socialización. José María Várgas University. Venezuela.
• Ramasubbu, S. (2015-05-26). "Influence of Social Media on Teenagers". Huffington Post.