12 tips to overcome emotional dependency
The world of relationships can become a drag if we become accustomed to being dependent on others.
When your happiness depends on other people, then you are an emotionally dependent person.. This problematic situation causes you to feel addicted to your partner even though things between you are not going well.
And even though you have known that you are not doing well in your relationship for a long time, you are not strong enough to take a step forward because of the fear of uncertainty or because you do not trust yourself when facing the situations that may appear in your day to day life. You are afraid of being alone, and you prefer to stay there knowing that you are not happy.
If you feel identified with this and you think that it would be positive to get out of this situation, in this article you can see some keys and tips to become an emotionally independent person..
How to get out of this painful situation
Although men often hide this problem because they are ashamed to recognize and express their emotional dependence on another person, this phenomenon affects both sexes equally.
Emotional dependency causes great suffering because the person who experiences it thinks that he or she is incapable of living without the other person, and it occurs when the other person has a low level of emotional dependence.It occurs when the other person has low self-esteem or erroneous beliefs about what a relationship should be. It is a type of immature love that has no future. It takes courage and bravery to learn to overcome emotional dependency, but it is worth doing so that you are finally able to take control of your own life.
- If you want to know what healthy love looks like, you can read our article, "Mature love: why is second love better than first love?"
Tips for overcoming emotional dependence
If you want to overcome emotional dependency and become a more autonomous and independent person, you can follow the tips below:
1. Be honest with yourself and recognize that there is a problem.
One of the most difficult things to do when someone is in this situation is to do a deep reflection on what is happening. It is easier to look the other way or blame other people than to look inward and acknowledge that we have a problem. and acknowledge that we have a problem.
Taking time for self-observation and honestly acknowledging that there is a problem is the beginning of taking a step forward and ending emotional dependency.
2. Do not be afraid of uncertainty
It is often the fear of being alone that makes us go back and return to that toxic relationship that causes us so much Pain and suffering. When we feel that the future alone is uncertain, we prefer to stay there, in the place we already know. Therefore, it is necessary to to get out of the comfort zone and adopt a positive attitude towards change.
3. Learn to say "no".
Learning to be assertive is essential to enjoy the emotional balance necessary to enjoy greater well-being. Being assertive means saying what you think while respecting the other person with whom you are interacting. In other words, it is about respecting the other party, but it also means respecting yourself.. Learning to say "no" is essential to regain emotional autonomy.
4. Work on yourself
The main problem of people who are emotionally dependent is that they are too dependent on the other person and forget who they are. One should pursue one's goals, have one's hobbies and work on growing a little bit every day as a human being. grow every day a little bit as a human being.or, in other words, self-actualization. To stop being an emotionally dependent person, one of the keys is to strive for one's own personal development.
5. Y... reinforce your self-esteem
Working on oneself is the first step to reinforce one's self-esteem, which, as already mentioned, is one of the main reasons why an individual finds himself in this situation. In addition, the longer one is in this toxic relationship, the more one suffers the consequences in terms of self-esteem and self-confidence..
That is why it is necessary to carry out strategies that help to improve self-esteem. I recommend our article: "10 keys to increase your self-esteem in 30 days" to work on your self-esteem.
6. Review your beliefs
Another of the main reasons why someone can end up in a situation of emotional dependence are the beliefs that one has about what love is and how a relationship should be.
To avoid this, it is necessary to to question one's own beliefs and to think critically about them.. In the movies love may seem very beautiful, but the reality is different. One should not force oneself to be in a couple for fear of being alone or for the need to have a partner and get married.
You can enjoy great satisfaction and well-being being single. You can check it out in this article: "Is it possible to be single and be happy? The 8 benefits of not having a partner."
7. Relate with other people.
It can also happen that the emotionally dependent person has a poor social life, few friends or feels isolated. This causes a complicated situation, because the person has no one to talk to and explain what is happening to him/her. In addition, having an active social life makes us enjoy much healthier relationships and not be so dependent on one person. and we do not depend so much on one person.
8. Be brave
To get out of this situation it is necessary to take responsibility, because you can choose between staying there and taking a step forward to end the problem. You have to be brave and not be afraid of the future. To do this, there is nothing like setting goals for yourself, there is nothing like setting short term goals that are very clear from the beginning.. Changes require a period of adaptation, and in time you will not regret having made the decision to leave this toxic relationship behind.
9. Resist the temptation to go back
Obviously, there will be easier times and more difficult times when making a step forward. But you should know that change is never easy and that there may be ups and downs along the way. Understanding this can make you aware that you must resist the temptation to turn back.
10. Learn to love in a healthy way
To begin to heal our relationship we must love in a healthy way and let go of many limiting beliefs that we carry with us. limiting beliefs that we carry with us and that prevent us from enjoying our relationships to the fullest.. As personal development experts say, this is a very heavy backpack. To move from emotional dependence to affective autonomy is one of the keys to achieve well-being as a couple, and for this, it is necessary to love in a mature way.
11. Avoid other people's expectations
It is probable that many emotionally dependent people have unrealistic and excessively intense expectations about what they can expect from others. This often leads to an idealization towards the other party.It is not a wise decision to make up for the emptiness we may feel with ourselves with the need to have someone by our side at all costs.
Living with this illusory image of another person can be dangerous, because even in the face of evidence that the expectations we have are not true, these expectations can keep us clinging to something imaginary, to an unrealistic image of what the other person is. Realizing this can help overcome emotional dependency.
12. Seek professional help
In some cases, these tips can help you overcome this situation and help you realize what the problem is. Being aware that you are emotionally dependent, recognizing that you are afraid of being alone and working to grow and develop as a person are strategies that will help you improve your well-being and empower you in the face of life and uncertainty.
However, getting out of this dark place, the toxic relationship, is not always easy. The best way to do this is to seek professional help.A psychologist can help you acquire tools to improve your self-esteem, your interpersonal skills and, therefore, your well-being.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)