14 toxic words you should eliminate from your vocabulary.

Expressions and limiting words that tie you to unconstructive mental schemes.

There are toxic words that we should not use. Some of them are negative for us because they are limiting terms that prevent us from advancing and developing, others are not very specific and others can damage the self-esteem of the person to whom we say them.

As the psychologist Montse Luján Treviño says: "The way we use language affects others, because we can sink someone or cause a change in attitudes depending on what we say".

We are what we say

Words have a positive or negative effect on ourselves and others. Catherine Pratt, author of the book "How to Deal with Negative People," says that negative people can cause others to feel drained or even depressed. The fact is that the words we use not only affect other individuals, but the words we use the words we use not only affect other individuals, but they also speak volumes about us.. As the popular phrase goes, "language is a reflection of our thoughts".

Toxic words also have consequences on our self-image and how others see us. People want to surround themselves with positive people and avoid those who make us feel bad and project negativity. In addition, toxic words are also limiting words, in the sense that they limit our personal development and prevent us from achieving success.

A list of toxic words

But, What are the toxic words? What are the negative words?

There are a number of terms that we should not use as part of our language. They are as follows.

1. Incompetent

There are words that, when someone receives them, make them feel clumsy and inept. That is why you should avoid calling someone incompetent. Why? Because each person has a number of strengths and weaknesses, and may be good at some tasks but not others..

For example, a person may not be good at working as a waiter, but may have a great command of new technologies and perform excellently as a web programmer. In order not to use the word incompetent when it comes to work and studies, it is always advisable to encourage this individual to find his true passion. He may not be suited for that job, but there will be another one where he will fit in perfectly and where he will be able to exploit his skills.

2. Odd

Individuals can be very prejudiced and defensive about things that do not fit into their mindset. There are many cultures with their ways of thinking and their values and their customs, and this is what makes our world so varied, rich and diverse. Chen we say that someone is weird, we are saying that we are normal, when, in fact, we are all different.when, in reality, we are all different.

If you are one of those who call someone weird and suffer from some kind of problem, you should be thankful that you are lucky to be born into a good family and in good health. Life can be very unfair to some people.

3. I need you

This phrase, if used in a couple relationship, refers to emotional dependency. It is used by people who have low self-esteem and who get hooked on a relationship despite it being toxic. When someone enjoys a high self-esteem, he/she does not need anyone to be happy, because the partner is a complement and a complement to the relationship.because the partner is a complement and is not everything to him or her.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with enjoying the company of a loved one, nor in expressing the love you feel. However, confusing this with normalizing the fact of being dependent on the other (with all that this implies) can make you fall into a kind of small sect based on two people.

4. I can't

"I can't" is one of those limiting words that make it impossible for you to take action and are paralyzing.. Except in extreme cases, effort and perseverance will allow you to achieve your goals, as long as these goals are realistic and you know how to manage your resources. But you must be clear that many times, the biggest barrier between yourself and achievable goals are the thoughts of self-sabotage, created as an excuse not to leave the comfort zone.

5. I must, I must not

"Should I or shouldn't I" has to do with a set of social beliefs or what others tell you that you should do. You are the only person who knows what motivates you and what will make you happy. So you can erase from your personal dictionary this word or phrases like: I must get married, I must be a doctor, etc. Better to use: "I want to be a fireman" or "I want to travel"..

6. Impossible

This word is similar to "I can't", and as mentioned above, except in some cases, realistic goals are not realistic, except in some cases, realistic goals are achievable.. Rather than impossible, it would be better to say: "it is difficult but not impossible".

The point is that although in practice there are things that cannot be done in a given time and with the resources available, we very often use the concept of impossibility in order not to move from the place, not to make an effort to progress.

7. Hatred

Hatred is a negative emotion that encourages aggressiveness and violence.. According to psychologist Manuel Vitutia in the Huffington Post, "This emotion robs us of peace and does not let us enjoy anything else. Feeling hatred is like suffering from an ulcer". We will achieve nothing by telling someone we hate them. It is always better to accept and move on without grudges.

8. Bored

There are always things to do, if you are bored it's because you have a life that is not very rich.. Instead of staying on the couch watching TV, you better go for a walk, go for a run or read an interesting psychology book like these: "The 30 best psychology books you can't miss".

9. Angry

Anger is often a reaction that we regret.. For example, when we are in a couple and we explode over something silly, then we have to apologize for our reaction and recognize that it was not that bad. Experts say that anger is a secondary reaction that often hides insecurity, fear or sadness. Therefore, if you are going to get angry, first analyze if there is no other cause that is provoking your anger.

10. Blame

Blaming others can also mask our own insecurities, and can prevent us from recognizing that we too are angry.and can avoid acknowledging that we are also to blame. In fact, it is easier to blame the other person than to reflect deeply on your own share of the blame.

11. Ugly

We live in a society that places a high value on people's physical appearance and in which a culture of image is predominant.. And not everyone has physical features that make you fall in love. But that does not give you the right to despise someone for that reason, because they may have other important qualities inside. Calling someone ugly can hurt them a lot and that's why we should erase it from our dictionary.

12. Useless

Calling someone useless is like calling them incompetent.. It is a degrading insult that should be avoided at all costs. At work, if you think someone doesn't have the qualities needed for the job, let them know but motivate them to do something else. You will surely be able to bring out their talents in another way.

13. Failure

The word failure should be erased from your personal dictionary because it is a limiting word.It is a limiting word and, therefore, interferes negatively in personal development. Failures are experiences from which you can learn and are very enriching experiences.

14. Bad

Calling someone bad is not very specific. Moreover, whether something is good or bad can be debatable. For example, some people think that having sex with more than one person is bad even though it is not.

Likewise, we can call someone bad simply because he or she does not treat us as we would like. To give another example, if our partner leaves us, the Pain will make us see him/her as a bad person, because it is the resentment that is manifesting itself.