17 toxic emotions that you should eliminate from your life.

Several emotions that make our existence a less pleasant place.

The correct management of emotions is intimately linked to our happiness.Because they influence our thinking, our behavior and, obviously, our mental health.

That is why the topic of toxic emotions is of special interest both as a subject to discuss (is it accurate to talk about this type of emotions with that name?) and as a phenomenon that we experience.

Emotion Management and Emotional Intelligence

In recent decades, the concept of Emotional Intelligence (EI) has become very popular in the field of psychology, as its use has become increasingly necessary to improve people's well-being and quality of life. Education in emotional intelligence is one of the keys to prepare mentally strong people who can face the different difficult situations or challenges that life presents them.

Emotionally strong people have a great capacity for self-awareness, they detect the emotions they are feeling and regulate them according to the context in which they find themselves.

This is appropriate, because it is not always easy to distinguish between different types of emotions.. Often, there are cases in which the same person understands less what he or she is feeling than those who relate to him or her on a daily basis, because the simple fact of experiencing these emotions in the flesh can lead us to interpret them in a biased, fallacious way.

Fortunately, the ability to regulate and recognize emotions is something that can be learned, at least within certain limits. And that implies that we are able to limit the power that toxic emotions have on us.. This requires practice and patience, but the fruits are noticeable in different areas of our lives, since our emotional state does not cease to influence us at any time.

Types of emotions: positive and toxic

There are different types of emotions and, therefore, recognizing them is key for us to be able to regulate our behavior. Becoming aware of our emotions is the first step to improve our well-being, but it is also necessary to interact with other people effectively.

In addition to other classifications of emotions, depending on how they affect the person, they can be positive or negative (toxic).. Positive emotions, which are also known as healthy, positively affect a person's well-being and are pleasant when one feels them. On the other hand, negative emotions, also known as toxic, negatively affect the person who feels them and are unpleasant, so we tend to avoid them.

• If you want to know more about the different types of emotions, you can visit our article: "The 8 types of emotions (classification and description)".

Benefits of correct emotional management

Unfortunately, this classification of positive and negative emotions causes us a lot of suffering, because we can get stuck in those toxic emotions if we do not face them and if we do not accept them.

We must be clear that there is nothing wrong with feeling those unpleasant emotions, which can be nothing more than a warning sign and can help us grow. However, When we remain in them for a long time, they become toxic emotions and cause us enormous suffering..

Toxic emotions

As we have seen, there are different types of emotions, but what are the disabling emotions? What are the characteristics of toxic emotions?

Below you can find a complete list of a complete list of these negative emotions.

1. Dependent attachment

Attachment is the emotional bond we build with other people. It develops in infancy, already with the first contacts with the mother. Although attachment in itself is neither good nor bad, there are different types of attachment. Secure attachment is undoubtedly the healthiest. On the other hand, dependent attachment causes us much suffering and does not allow us to be happy. It is a type of insecure attachment, in which the person has low self-esteem and is easily manipulated.

• If you want to know more about the types of attachment, you can do it in this post: "The Attachment Theory and the bond between parents and children".

2. Fear

Fear is an emotion that is considered negative but is actually adaptive and useful. The problem arises when fear takes over our life, and low self-esteem and lack of confidence make us afraid of everything. Fear must be faced and overcome because, otherwise, it is highly disabling..

3. Despair

While patience is one of the best virtues a human being can possess, despair is the opposite. Even more so when it dominates our lives and prevents us from being happy. It is largely based on rumination, that is, a tendency to think all the time about what makes us feel worse without being able to imagine or carry out ways to solve the problem.

4. Jealousy

Jealousy is one of the worst emotions we can feel.Because they not only hurt another person, but they also hurt ourselves. Jealousy makes us unhappy people and makes us have a very bad time by making us always thinking about ideas that undermine our self-esteem and make us adopt a hostile attitude.

5. Grudge

The resentment is one of those emotions that do not let us advanceEspecially because it accumulates and remains stagnant inside us looking to express itself in some way, generally in the form of anger. Spiteful people present a series of characteristics that you can find by clicking here.

6. Feeling of failure

When we have unrealistic or very high expectations, we can fall into the error of feeling like failures constantly.. It is normal to feel a little demotivated at first when we do not get what we want or when things do not go as we had planned. However, we must see the good side of things, and these events that at first may seem negative to us, can be perfect opportunities to grow.

7. Pride

Although we may believe that being proud makes us strong in the eyes of others, it can actually be an obstacle to our well-being. can be an obstacle to our well-being and interpersonal relationships.. 

It makes us easily offended or angry over nothing, or even artificially creates conflicts where there shouldn't be any. So we must avoid this type of behavior because it usually only serves to complicate our lives more and move us away from a humble attitude that allows us to learn.

8. Laziness

Laziness is familiar to us as one of the deadly sins, but it is also negative for us if it becomes a constant.But it is also negative for us if it becomes a constant. It can make us not to face challenges and it manifests itself through reluctance. Laziness makes us careless and we must prevent it from overcoming us, as it can sabotage our most important plans, causing us to never undertake interesting projects, to be late, etc.

9. Caprice

Caprice is another of the toxic emotions that make us tremendously unhappy.. Whim is a totally irrational desire, in which we desire something with intensity, but when we have it, it makes us feel empty and in search of something else, something that satisfies our empty desire. Therefore, it usually goes hand in hand with a sense of wasted time.

10. Envy

There is nothing good to say about envy.Envy, because this emotion traps us and turns us into miserable people. It makes us be attentive to others when true happiness is found within ourselves. Envy seriously harms our well-being and our interpersonal relationships.

11. Shame

Shame is one of those incapacitating and paralyzing emotions, which do not allow us to be ourselves or to develop ourselves.It prevents us from being ourselves and developing as we should. In fact, this is one of the most frequent toxic emotions and causes great suffering. We must take courage and not let shame take hold of us.

12. Anger

Anger is one of the emotions that we must control with great attention, because when we live with anger, we are not able to control it.We cannot give free rein to this impulse when we live with other individuals. Although in certain contexts it is useful (for example, at the time of moving away of our life immediately to people who do us much damage), the anger seriously damages the interpersonal relations and is breeding ground for the conflicts. It is the opposite of peace and reconciliation.

13. Anguish

Anguish is a fairly common emotion to be avoided at all costs because it makes us live in continuous discomfort.. This emotion can make us make wrong decisions and affects our behavior in a negative way. In addition, if this situation is maintained for a long time, it can weaken our immune system.

14. Dissatisfaction

Dissatisfaction also makes us tremendously unhappy.It manifests itself in such a way that the reality we live in never meets our expectations. No matter how well we do and what we have achieved in our life, nothing is enough. One of the causes of dissatisfaction is perfectionism.

• If you want to know more about this personality trait, just read our article: "Perfectionist personality: the disadvantages of perfectionism".

15. Melancholy

Sadness is normal and happens to all of us. In fact, it is okay to feel sad when there is a reason that needs us to go through a grieving phase. But when that grief lasts a long time and sadness becomes a habit, then we should consider getting out of this situation. The melancholy is a really harmful to usbecause it paralyzes us and causes us great unnecessary suffering.

16. Victimhood and constant crying

Victimhood is a toxic emotion that denotes insecurity in the person. It is characterized because the person always feels like a victim of everything that happens and does not take control of the situation, nor does he/she do anything to get out of it.

17. Toxic guilt

We can all feel guilty at some point in our lives, but we must learn to forgive ourselves.But we must learn to forgive ourselves if we cannot do anything about it. Living with this emotion constantly is painful, so it is important to differentiate real guilt from non-real guilt. The latter refers to blaming oneself without being at fault and is the most damaging form.

Seeing the types of toxic emotions in perspective

The appearance or not of the types of toxic emotions depends largely on the emotional education we have to prevent discomfort from becoming chronic.

Emotional education is important because it teaches us how to deal with and accept these emotions.. Its benefits are:

• Knowing ourselves better and labeling the emotions we feel.
• Improve our self-esteem and self-confidence.
• Make better decisions and think more clearly.
• Perform better at work and improve our occupational health and interpersonal relationships with customers.
• Reduce stress and protect ourselves from stress
• Improve relationships with others and become more empathetic
• Grow and develop
• Mejorar nuestro bienestar psicológico

Teniendo en cuenta eso, entrenarnos en distinguir las emociones tóxicas por sus causas y por las características que las distinguen de otras emociones será clave para mejorar en calidad de vida.

Referencias bibliográficas:

• Ekman, P. (1999). Basic Emotions. En: T. Dalgleish and M. Power (Eds.). Handbook of Cognition and Emotion. John Wiley & Sons Ltd, Sussex, Reino Unido:.
• LeDoux, J. E. (1995). Emotion: Clues from the brain. Annual Review of Psychology, 46, 209-235.
• Levenson, R.W. (1994). Human emotion. A functional view. En P. Ekman & R.J. Davidson (Eds). The nature of Emotions: Fundamental Questions. New York: Oxford University Press.
• Scherer, K. (2005). What are emotions and how can they be measured? Social Science Information Vol. 44, No. 4: 695-729.