18 basic tips for being a good mother

Guidelines for enjoying motherhood while raising your children well and giving them the support they are looking for.

There's no doubt about it, being a mother is one of the most rewarding and wonderful experiences a woman can have. and for many it is a highlight of their lives. The mother figure is extremely important for the growth of a son or daughter and influences how he or she develops in different areas of his or her life: personal wellbeing, academics, work, interpersonal relationships, etc.

Of course, although there is only one mother, sometimes they can generate discomfort in their children and become toxic mothers, who by their actions prevent the proper development and emotional well-being of their offspring. There are many competencies that a mother should develop, especially taking into account that the bond she establishes with her sons and daughters is a special one.thanks to the body and eye contact that is established between both parties in the first months of life.

Recommendations for being a good mother

If you want to know how to be a good motherIf you want to know how to be a good mother, below is a list of tips that will help you avoid parenting mistakes.

1. Set limits

It is clear that we all want the best for our children and, in addition, we like to see them happy and smiling; however, this does not mean that they should always get their own way. Setting limits and rules can be good for your for your little ones and for their future well-being.

However, the rules must be consistent, clear and simple, they must be the same for everyone and adapted to the maturity age of your son or daughter. After all, we are social beings, so learning to set limits to our children's impulses is a good way to better adapt to the society in which we live.

2. You are their learning model

The family is one of the main socializing agents, so it is necessary that you educate your child well. Human beings have different ways of learning, and one of them is through modeling. one of them is through modelinga concept introduced by Albert Bandura. Although sometimes you may not believe it, what you do and how you behave in front of them matters, because your child is constantly watching you.

3. Active listening

We often think we are listening when we are actually hearing. To really listen it is necessary to practice active listening. This means that you should not only pay attention to your children and try to understand what they are saying, but also what they are feeling. In other words, you must pay attention to both the emotional component (feelings, emotions, sensations, etc.) and the rational component (ideas, beliefs, knowledge, etc.).

If you want to know more about how to do this, this article will be useful: "Active listening: the key to communicating with others".

4. Validate their emotions

Active listening is important, but so is validating your child's emotions. Emotional validation is a process of learning, understanding and expressing acceptance of your child's emotional experience. of accepting another person's emotional experience. In other words, if you suspect that your child is having difficulties, active listening can allow you to understand not only their verbal language, but also their non-verbal language (gestures, gaze, posture, etc.) when they open their Heart to you.

Emotional validation will show that you understand him or her (even if you don't always agree) and, therefore, he or she will feel more comfortable saying how he or she feels. We can all feel pleasant emotions and painful emotions, and your son or daughter is no exception.

5. Let him or her express himself or herself

Emotional validation and acceptance of emotions are key to your child's future well-being. This allows your child to learn to express his or her emotions and feelings instead of minimizing or rejecting them. Emotions do not disappear if they are repressed.On the contrary, they can be expressed without control. Proper emotional control is good for both your child's well-being and interpersonal relationships.

6. Encourage communication

The previous points are closely related to efficient communication, which helps your child to count on you for whatever he/she needs, and to be able to communicate with you. increases the bond between you and your company. That is why it is important that you communicate openly with your child on a daily basis. This will allow you to get to know him and he will understand that he can trust you when he needs you, even with regard to his concerns and fears.

7. Adapt to your child

Sometimes, we may not be aware of our child's age, because he may misbehave and get on our nerves at some point. As an adult, you must be aware that your child's level of reasoning follows a developmental process, so you need to adapt to their needs.

However, it is not a matter of treating him/her as a mature person when he/she is not yet one. For example, at the age of three, he may have a need to say "no" to everything, as this is his way of gaining independence. Don't be surprised by some of your child's attitudes.It is not good for you to lose your temper. Keep in mind that the important thing is to educate him correctly, not to get angry in an uncontrolled way.

8. Be patient

Being a mother can be complicated at timesIt may seem like the situation is too much for you. Going to work, coming home and doing household chores and then raising your child... takes up many hours of your day. But stay calm and try to be patient. Don't take it out on your little ones, and if at any time they don't behave as you think they should, explain the reasons why they shouldn't repeat their behavior. Similarly, if you have a partner, negotiate a better division of chores, which brings us to the next point.

9. Responsibilities also belong to the parent

It is good for both parents to share the child's responsibilities. Whenever possible, you must find a balance to avoid taking on all the responsibility for your child's education. of raising your child. You will feel less stressed and it will be better for your child if the two of you get along and share the parenting.

10. Avoid arguing with your partner in front of your child.

We have already mentioned how important the parents' role is for the child's socialization process and how their behavior can be imitated by the child: this is what is known as learning by modeling, vicarious or imitation. If you argue with your partner in front of him/her, you will be sending him/her a negative messageThis will not be positive either for their development or for their learning.

11. Let him develop his autonomy

Many parents may feel insecure when their children are seeking independence. This happens at any age. Being an overprotective mother is not at all beneficial.because it prevents your child from developing to the fullest and becoming empowered in the face of life.

12. Don't let him grow up to be a spoiled child.

One of the biggest mistakes mothers can make is to think that everything they do in good faith is positive for their child. think that everything they do in good faith is positive for their child.. In the first point we already talked about the importance of setting limits, because raising spoiled children will have negative effects on their well-being. Therefore, you should avoid giving them gifts when it is not their turn, reinforcing their negative behaviors, giving in to their tantrums or acting like a spoiled brat yourself.

If you want to know more about this interesting topic, you can read this article: "The 8 basic tips to avoid spoiling your child".

13. Avoid being extremely disciplined

It is necessary that you do not be excessively disciplined, and under no circumstances hit your son or daughter.. Little ones who are continually spanked, hit or slapped are more likely to fight with other children in the future and develop a negative personality.

You can read more about this topic in our article: "8 reasons not to use physical punishment on children".

14. Watch your parenting style

As with the types of leadership, there are different types of parenting styles that are not characteristic of parents but rather forms of relationship between parent and child. These parental styles have their benefits and negative consequences, and we can differentiate four: democratic, authoritarian, permissive and indifferent.. The democratic style is the healthiest, and is based on respect and communication with the children.

15. Play emotionally intelligent with him

Even at an early age, children can develop emotional intelligence, which has a positive impact on their psychological health in the future. Thanks to play, children learn skills while having fun, which is essential for their development in the first years of life. Play is not only beneficial on a psychomotor level, but can also help them to better understand their emotions. can help them to better understand their emotions..

In this video you can learn about the importance of emotional intelligence for your child:

16. Teach them to solve problems

Parents not only act as role models for their children when it comes to teaching them new behaviors, but they are a key piece in their growth because they help them develop their higher cognitive capacity and intelligence.

Social interaction, especially from parents, supports children's development by establishing an influence through the Zone of Proximal Development, a term coined by Lev Vygotsky.. This zone is the distance between the level of maturity reached by the child through the natural process of development, and the level of potential development that he can reach when guided by people who are more capable than he is, for example, the parents.

Go deeper into this concept in this article: "The Sociocultural Theory of Lev Vygotsky".

17. Find time for yourself

During the first years of life, a mother's dedication to her son or daughter occupies almost 24 hours a day, but being a mother does not mean that life and good times are over. That's why you need you need to dedicate time to your wellbeing, which will be positive for the relationship between you and your child.This will be positive for your relationship with your little ones. For example, if you enjoyed going to the gym, make time in your life to continue with this activity.

18. Enjoy your child and the experience

Being a mother is one of the most rewarding experiences a human being can feel, and nothing can compare to the love that arises within a family. So enjoy this gift that life gives you even though at times things can get complicated. Being a mother is amazing!