8 beliefs that feed emotional dependence in relationships

Beliefs that reinforce the dynamics of emotional dependency in marriages and courtships.

Emotional dependence is a psychological disorder that consists of an obsessive need to keep someone by our side. Many times, this person is the partner in a courtship or marriage, which favors that this emotional bond becomes more and more harmful and limiting.

This phenomenon annuls the person who suffers from it and has a direct effect on all aspects of his or her life, both emotionally and relationally, as well as in the family and even at work. And in this sense, there are a series of harmful beliefs that reinforce this dynamic of dependency in couple relationships.Let's see what they are.

What are the beliefs associated with emotional dependence in couples?

There are several psychological elements capable of causing emotional dependence to emerge, and some of the most important are the dysfunctional beliefs developed by the person who depends on the other. Let's see which are the most frequent.

Fear of being alone

People who are emotionally dependent tend to assume that being single is equivalent to having failed in life.This is why they are terrified that their relationship will end.

This irrational fear of being alone is one of the most common signs of emotional dependence and is accompanied by the belief that once we are alone no one else will love us.

Similarly, separation from a partner, whether temporary or permanent, also generates a feeling of discomfort in the person and is often accompanied by cases of anxiety, stress or depression.

2. Delegating all decision-making

Another of the most common beliefs in emotional dependency consists of believing that the believing that the partner will always make better decisions than we do in any situation, and that is why we avoid taking part in the decision making process. and that is why we avoid taking part in any responsibility, activity or opinion on our own initiative.

This way of thinking is totally irrational, since it consists in believing that the other person is the best in the task of "making decisions" in general, regardless of the level of information or knowledge that he/she may have on the subject in question. In other words, this belief confuses the action of decision making with a skill that can be applicable to any situation and does not depend on other skills or certain knowledge.

3. Fear of abandonment

In people with emotional dependence also is also very frequent the fear of being abandoned by one's partner, even if the person is not really happy in the current relationship or is aware that he/she is in a relationship with no future. or is aware that he/she is in a relationship with no future.

This irrational fear of abandonment generates toxic and unequal relationship dynamics in which the person is afraid of making any mistake, again for fear of being abandoned.

4. The belief that we have to "compensate" for our lack of attractiveness.

There are many beliefs that affect self-esteem in people with emotional dependence, and among the most common ones we can find the idea that we need to be very actively involved in satisfying the other person to compensate for our unattractiveness.

Emotional dependence is related to a very negative view of oneself, a view that usually does not coincide with reality and that increases with the passage of time as the dysfunctional couple relationship reinforces these limiting beliefs.

5. Idealizing the other person

As has been indicated, emotional dependency is usually related to a loss of contact with reality and to the belief in a series of illusory thoughts.

Thus, it is common to believe that one's partner is a perfect and flawless person, that he/she knows everything and that he/she is special. In the same way, we tend to minimize their defects and overlook those negative or toxic behaviors.

6. Believing that happiness is in the other person

People with emotional dependence often take for granted that they will not be happy if they are not with their partner, a fact that generates a lot of emotional discomfort in the long term. generates a lot of emotional discomfort in the long term..

Again, this phenomenon has very negative psychological implications for the person, since by linking our own happiness outside ourselves we live permanently worried and constantly afraid of being abandoned.

7. The belief that disagreement is terrible

Another of the classic signs of emotional dependence is that of experiencing a great contrariness and a strong discomfort in the face of arguments or strong discomfort in the face of arguments or disagreements with the partner..

This is why, in the long run, the emotionally dependent person ends up avoiding any type of conflict and chooses to agree with his or her partner in everything.

Submission to the other partner in cases of emotional dependency is such that the person is usually afraid to give his or her own opinion so as not to upset his or her life partner.

In the same way, the person tends to accede to any demand that the partner may have and is more prone to tolerate manipulations of all kinds, as well as physical or psychological abuse in the most serious cases.

8. Need to be liked

The people with emotional dependency towards their partner are accustomed to do everything possible to please the other person, given that they do not assume that this person can be by their side because of a common history and everything they have lived together, as well as because of the qualities of one of them.They do not assume that this person can be by their side because of a common history and all that they have lived together, as well as because of the qualities of oneself that they have liked and have led to establish this courtship or marriage.

This usually causes the dependent person to constantly change his or her mind and sometimes adapt his or her personality to the interlocutor in order to please the other person.

Thus, another of the essential characteristics of emotional dependence consists in the total renunciation of one's own preferences, opinions, dreams or aspirations, as well as to relate to one's friends or family.

This occurs because the dependent person usually considers that his or her preferences have no value and that what really matters is what his or her partner wants.

Are you looking for psychological support?

Emotional dependence should be treated as soon as possible by a psychology professional, since in the long run it can significantly erode the emotional well-being of the person and generate a real mental health problem on several levels.

Whether in individual psychotherapy or couples therapy, there are effective forms of intervention to solve this kind of problems. If you are interested in psychological support for such cases, I invite you to contact me.