8 types of singleness: what kinds of single people are there?

Classifying people who do not have a partner.

Sometimes it is the way we relate to others, and not so much our way of thinking, that defines in a special way who we are and how we act.

We can explain our motivations, our goals and some of our problems and concerns by looking at how our personality expresses itself when we are in the company of others.

And, on those occasions when the social aspect is added to the affective aspect, we are much more likely to come closer to a deeper and more complex description of our personality (or the personality of others). So if part of our way of being is expressed through the way we behave when we are in a couple relationship, The same is true in the absence of it, and more specifically when we are single..

What types of singleness are there?

Below you can see a proposal of what a classification system of the main types of singleness could look like. you can see a proposal of how could be a classification system of the main types of singleness..

It is not an exhaustive classification, and therefore the same person can present some characteristics of more than one of these types, but it is a first step that can help to explain the traits, propensities and possible problems of people.

1. Independent singles

This type of singleness is driven by an assessment of the costs and benefits of having a partner..

Singles of this typology tend to value highly the option of living their own life without ties and with a lot of time available for themselves, without having to give time and space to another person. In other words, they are wary of too strong and intense commitments.

2. Self-sufficient singles

Single people in this category do not even consider the costs and benefits of having a partner, because their life habits are already characterized by a high degree of isolation and self-sufficiency. their life habits already entail a high degree of isolation and self-sufficiency..

In this mode of singleness the default state is loneliness, although a loneliness that need not be perceived as something negative, since it is interpreted as the normal state of affairs. Therefore, these people are likely to remain single for a long time, firstly because of their solitary habits and secondly because of their lack of interest in increasing their chances of becoming more connected to other people.

3. Isolated singles

Isolated singles show many of the characteristics that define self-sufficient singles, but with the difference that they do perceive their singleness as a problem and would therefore prefer to break up with other people. and therefore would prefer to break their isolation dynamic.

However, the very fact that they are accustomed to a solitary way of life makes it difficult for them to learn other habits that expose them more to relationships with others, and it is also possible that due to their lack of habit it is difficult for them to learn some social skills useful for forming and maintaining bonds.

4. Low self-esteem

These people want to form a couple relationship, but they believe that they cannot, not because of their habits or customs, but because they believe that they, by their own way of being, are not worth enough to have those opportunities. In other words, regardless of what they may learn or how they may change, they believe that they will never evolve enough, they believe that they will never evolve enough to be attractive..

Of course, there are no objective criteria for determining the value that people have, and therefore these kinds of thoughts are deeply irrational, but that does not change the fact that they tend to be very persistent and affect many aspects of one's quality of life. Therefore, this mode of singleness is one of the symptoms of a broader problem that, in any case, can most likely be corrected by working on improving self-esteem.

5. Existential singles

Singles belonging to this group are characterized by a certain existential pessimism, which means that they do not believe that they will ever be single again.This means that they do not believe that relationships mean anything in themselves.

Therefore, they see in a cold and dispassionate way the option of having intimate emotional relationships with someone, and although sometimes they may enjoy the couple relationships, they will be aware that the pleasure they find in those moments is built by them with their own way of taking the relationship, and it is not given to them by the other person.

6. Ideological singles

This typology of singleness is less common, and is mainly explained by an ideology that makes the person impose red lines when it comes to meeting people, or systematically rejects the idea of meeting people.or systematically rejects potential partners or people he/she considers attractive. This way of thinking is not so much related to one's own self-esteem as to the way in which one interprets reality and the functioning of society. For example, people who profess certain religions in a very intense way can be very demanding with the times that have to mark the falling in love, or they can prohibit themselves the possibility of having a partner.

This mode of singleness can lead to problems when both the ideological pressure and the desire to have a partner are very strong and produce a lot of pressure and anxiety.

7. Transitional singles

These people believe that their chances of being in a relationship in the short or medium term are relatively high, and are therefore almost always in a relationship.Therefore, they are almost always examining the people around them to actively decide which ones are a better choice. Therefore, they interpret the state of singleness as a transition from one relationship to another.

8. Learning Singles

Learning singles are those who shy away from the idea of having a partner because of bad past experiences..

This category could include both people who have developed a more or less elaborate discourse about why a partner is not suitable for them and those who, because of traumatic memories, feel a strong, irrational and difficult to explain rejection of the idea of being in such a relationship. Sometimes this aversion to finding a romantic partner is called philophobia.

Having a romantic partner should not be an obligation

Our cultural heritage pushes us to pair up and get married. We need to get rid of this idea and build our lives based on personal values and our own criteria. During the last decade, new ways of loving (such as polyamory) have begun to gain prominence.

Of course, it is not necessary to live in a couple to be happy. Each individual must find his or her place in the world, his or her circle of friends and relationships, freely. Perhaps in this way we can reinterpret the concept of singleness, so often associated with loneliness and isolation.so often associated with loneliness and isolation.