Addictive thoughts: how to escape from the loop?
How can we avoid falling into unwanted thought dynamics?
Intuitively, we may think that the best way to avoid relapsing into addictive behavior is to block the thoughts that can lead us to it. It makes sense, doesn't it? If we do not think about it, we will not be tempted to consume, gamble or watch adult films on the Internet..
This type of action, often recommended, can actually achieve short-term success, which is very encouraging for the addict in rehab and for the people who are supporting him or her in the process.
It is also very motivating for the person. It makes them feel in control. They perceive that they are managing to overcome "their problem". It gives him a sense of accomplishment that is very contagious and enticing, even if he does not succeed in suppressing all thoughts of using. When he does, he lives it (and we live it) as an important advance in his recovery. He is "defeating the enemy", "winning the battle" and other expressions very much in line with the "fight against drugs".
But, unfortunately, what is really happening is quite the opposite.
What not to do to avoid relapse
Putting thoughts about addictive behavior aside is a terrible idea. A technique that is not only destined to fail, but can actually interfere with recovery.
Addictive thoughts are never random, so the moments when they occur are extraordinary opportunities to learn what motivates the unwanted behavior.
Any event, circumstance, interaction, thought or feeling that occurs just before is the key to understanding what seems to be sustaining the addictive behavior, why we need it. Turning away just as it happens is the last thing we should do if we hope to control it..
Ending addictive thoughts
Logically, paying attention to an isolated episode of thoughts about consumption or another undesirable habit is not enough to understand what underlies a given addiction. But the more effort we devote to the precipitating circumstances of that addictive thought, the easier it will be to solve the mystery that leads to repeating something we do not consciously desire.
Focusing on these first moments when the unwanted thought appears is of immediate value.. Even if the precipitating factors do not seem clear, thinking about them creates a useful separation from the feelings of helplessness that always precede and trigger them. Observing these thoughts, without judging them, and learning about them, is a wonderful antidote to the sense of inevitability that seems to accompany any relapse process.
Suppressing addictive thoughts
Suppressing addictive thoughts is also part of another problem. Addiction is seen as an enemy to be beaten. Doing so makes the person suffering from the addiction see as uncontrollable something that is part of it, reinforcing the feeling of helplessness that we mentioned in the previous paragraph.
Trying to suppress these thoughts momentarily restores the appearance of control.. But it does not manage to change the fact that these thoughts appear at the most unexpected moments.
Instead of thinking in this way, it is much more appropriate to see addiction as a symptom with a specific motivation and emotional purpose. What we must understand in order to overcome it. Instead of looking the other way, perhaps it is better to learn from it.
The Role of Willpower in Addiction
Working to avoid these uncomfortable thoughts also involves rejecting another incorrect and widespread notion; the false and destructive idea that addiction can be overcome with willpower. This view, which has led to the belief that people can control addiction just by trying harder, is a well-established myth that has led to the labeling of people with addiction as "weak" or lacking "character".
Many people believe that what the addict needs is greater self-control.. But in fact, what often prevents an addict from recovering is relying solely on his or her willpower.
Relying exclusively on willpower makes the addicted person think that we can have an almost immediate solution, without putting too much effort, just by proposing it to ourselves. It is the "addict mode" of thinking. The objective is to control the uncontrollable.
The person sets up a movie that, at first, develops according to the proposed script. But soon he starts to go his own way, making that "normality" that the addict wants to appear to crumble and lead to frustration or relapse.
Seeking help for addiction
Only the recognition of the loss of control and the need for professional outside help can allow to start a long road that leads to recovery.
This is why understanding addiction as an individual process of reconstruction involves dismantling ways of reacting and behaving that the addicted person has learned throughout his or her life.
Of course, the addicted person has willpower. But he/she must use it to change and build a new life, not to ignore and avoid the old one. Denying what has led you to a self-destructive lifestyle may, in fact, precipitate you back into it.
The psychological mechanisms of addiction
Like any other psychological symptom addiction arises from emotional issues, largely unconsciousThe emotional symptoms, which we all have, can be very difficult to deal with. Emotional symptoms, which we all have, cannot just be managed through conscious effort.
People with addiction cannot stop their symptomatic behavior with their will, as is the case with people with depression, anxiety or phobias. In this, addictions take the prize for social misunderstanding of mental disorders.
Working to overcome an addiction is hard, but it is not about suppressing thoughts. It is a work of observation of our most complex feelings, motivations and conflicts, especially in the moments when it crosses our mind to repeat the addictive behavior.
Self-observation is not easy for anyone, and it is even more complicated if our thoughts prompt us to do something we wouldn't want to do. It is even more complicated if our thoughts urge us to do something we would not want to do..
Therefore, it becomes especially relevant to identify the emotional factors that lead the addicted person to feel helpless, and lead to unwanted mental processes. This can help us to find ways to manage them, before the whole process that can lead to a relapse is triggered. In short, it is not a matter of denying one's thoughts, but of understanding them.
(Updated at Apr 13 / 2024)