Assertiveness

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW ...

• Assertiveness is a mature behavior that reflects a healthy self-esteem.
• It is a skill that is not fully possessed but can be trained.
• An assertive person is characterized by maintaining a full coexistence with others, knowing what they want and getting it without harming third parties.

The equilibrium

A person who tends to be passive avoids saying or asking for what he wants or likes, easily submits to the will of others and allows himself to be manipulated. She respects others, but she doesn't respect herself.

On the opposite side, a person who tends to be aggressive frequently tries to manipulate or subdue others and expresses himself in such a violent and hostile way that he disqualifies himself. Defend your rights and interests excessively, without taking others into account.

Between these two poles is assertiveness, a mature behavior that reflects a healthy self-esteem, according to which the person expresses his convictions and defends his rights without discomfort and without fear of doing so. Through this form of expression, the person transmits their ideas or feelings in a clear, direct, kind and coherent way, without the intention of hurting, disturbing or harming third parties. It is a relationship model based on self-confidence in which the person knows and defends their own rights while respecting those of others.

MAIN FEATURES

An assertive person is characterized by gathering some (since complete assertiveness is impossible) of the following attitudes or behaviors:

• He usually maintains a full coexistence with others: he tends to influence in a positive and constructive way and manages to function effectively in his personal and professional environment. He has developed certain social skills and competencies that are usually revealed in the following way:
• He often knows what he wants and often achieves his goals without harming others.
• She has respect for herself and those around her, and at the same time manages to be treated with respect and dignity.
• They speak their minds frankly and sincerely, are regularly listened to and taken seriously, and express their feelings clearly. And all this at the right time and place, to the right person and taking into account the situation in which you find yourself. On the other hand, he knows how to attend and listen to others.
• He performs his actions with authenticity. He is an autonomous person, with a high degree of self-confidence, who is usually sure of his ideas and beliefs and has a good capacity to do what he sees fit, establish priorities and make decisions.
• He adequately solves the problems that arise since he has high negotiation skills and flexibility. It does not seek to “win”, but rather to “reach agreements”. At the same time, he is aware and assumes that he can make mistakes and make mistakes.
• He knows how to ask for what he wants or needs and at the same time knows how to refuse, setting limits to others when he considers it necessary and without feeling guilty.
• It usually has good emotional stability and balance.

Assertive behavior, one more learning

Assertiveness is not a trait that is fully possessed: no one is purely assertive. It is a skill that develops gradually and that each person shows to a greater or lesser extent depending on the situation, the context or the person in front of them.

Assertive behavior includes the. The words that the person uses are important, but other aspects such as tone of voice, modulation, body posture, gaze, gestures or facial expression are no less important.

Assertive behavior can be trained. There are numerous techniques and strategies that can be learned to achieve greater assertiveness. Behind certain symptoms such as depression, insecurity or frequent conflicts with other people, a lack of assertiveness can also hide. To achieve optimal development of this competence, the help of a professional psychologist may be useful.